have you? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Talos the mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give praise! We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man, you said, "Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now, in royalty, and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you." Aye, love. Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit both the heavens and the earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever! Terrible and powerful Talos! We, your unworthy servants, give praise! For only through your grace and benevolence may we truly reach enlightenment! And deserve our praise you do, for we are one! Ere you ascended and the Eight became Nine, you walked among us, great Talos, not as god, but as man! Trust in me, Whiterun! Trust in the words of Heimskr! For I am the chosen of Talos! I alone have been anointed by the Ninth to spread his holy word!

Once at Christmas I donned some gay apparel. [spoiler]Fa-la-la, fa-la-la, la,la, la.[/spoiler]

I was at a .......... [spoiler]i don't really have a story[/spoiler]

I took a shower with my best friend once i still think she wanted to destroy my fragile body.

Haven't even had a straight experience...

I think you need a Wabbajack. Am I right?

[quote]>driving with friend >accidentally grab his leg instead of gearstick >we both laugh and I unzip his pants >park the car while fondling his balls >friend is laughing cause he knows it's just a joke >start sucking his dick on this empty parking lot >almost choke on his dick cause I'm laughing so hard >friend is also laughing his ass off >he starts making train noises while yelling "BROJOB BROJOB! CHOO CHOO" >he cums and I swallow it all like some stupid fgt >kiss my friend and call him a fgt while laughing Gotta love playing pranks on my friends.[/quote]

I didn't take a tissue...

Did you mean my life?

I kissed a male friend