I dont know who made this but whoever did, they are a genius and I genuinely laughed out loud. Destiny "story", abridged. Ghost: "So yeah, I just brought you back to life cause you've been dead for a long time and we kinda need you to help save the world." Player: "Wait, WHAT?! I was dead? How? I I just...I can't...what about all my friends and family? Do I have any family left? How did I die? What the hell are you? How did you bring me back? Why do you need me, specifically, to save the world? I can't believe I was dead..." Ghost: "No time to explain; we're in Fallen territory and they're super evil. We need to get out of here!" Player: "Who are the Fallen? What's going on?" Ghost: "Here's a gun. Kill things. Oh good, things are dead. Here, let's take a ship; you know how to fly, right? Never mind, I'll fly!" Player: "Is that a spaceship? Were those aliens? Seriously, how long have I been dead and how did you bring me back? Can you bring back my family?" Ghost: "No time! We have to get to the city!" Player: "JESUS JUMPING CHRIST, IT'S THE GODDAMN DEATH STAR!" Ghost: "That's the Traveller. It's our great protector...even though it doesn't really do much more than hang there ominously and block out the sunlight to the city below." The Speaker: "Welcome, Guardian. Go kill Fallen for us. They're super evil and we need to save the world from them." Ghost: "Killing Fallen, killing Fallen... OH NO, THE HIVE! Hive are super, super evil! We need to go to the moon and kill them!" Player: "But what about the Earth?" Ghost: "TO THE MOON!" Player: "Look at all these outposts... Seriously, how long was I dead again and why didn't you bring back someone more qualified to kill alien bad guys, someone like Will Smith?" Ghost: "No time, gotta kill Hive! Here, kill the moon wizard!" Player: "Moon wizard? That's a thing? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON!" Exo Stranger: "You guys totally need to go to Venus. There's some really ultra super evil stuff there." Ghost: "To Venus we go!" Player: "...what about saving Earth from the Fallen? What about finishing off these Hive thingies?" Ghost: "TO VENUS!" Player: "Plants...and water...and breathable air...and entire cities...on Venus... This wasn't even remotely possible in my time... Seriously, are you ever going to tell me how long I've been dead?" Ghost: "EVIL ROBOTS! SHOOT THE THINGS! SHOOT ALL THE THINGS!" Player: "WHY ARE WE EVEN HERE, DAMN IT?!" Ghost: "Oh, hey, looks like we need to go to Mars now and fight the Vex there." Player: "Mars? What about Earth? Have we forgotten that it's been overrun by the Fallen and I still don't even know what they are?!" Ghost: "TO MARS!" Player: "I think I hate you." Ghost: "So Mars is operated by the Cabal; big, scary militaristic guys with a penchant for blowing up planets and moons for giggles. They're also fighting the Vex." Player: "Can we maybe talk to them, help each other kill the Vex? Enemy of my enemy and all that..." Ghost: "NO TIME, SHOOT EVERYTHING!" Player: "And start a war with these guys? You literally just said they blow up planets for fun!" Ghost: "Which makes them really-super ultra mega-evil, so you need to shoot them in the face. And the Vex. Vex are pretty bad, too." Player: "What if starting a war with this Cabal makes them decide to blow up Earth?" Ghost: "LESS TALKING, MORE SHOOTING!" Exo Stranger: "Good job, you killed a semi-intelligent blob of goo that controlled an army of ancient evil death machines (which we Exo are totally not related to, I swear), but the fight has only just begun; there's far, far worse out there than the Vex and Cabal." Player: "WILL SOMEBODY FINALLY TELL ME WHAT THE F#%! IS GOING ON?!" Ghost: "No time, we have to go shoot more things! For the city!" Player: "...yep, I definitely hate you." EDIT 1: Thanks for the positive responses everyone! Keep bumping, maybe someone high up in the bungie food chain will either get a laugh or feel remorse lol. EDIT 2: We can do it guys and gals! Keep bumping this until every head honcho at bungie reads this! EDIT 3: The writer has been found! Hats off to Centauratron for making this beautiful piece :D