Try this... This is almost a daily routine for my son and I.... On xbox one... We both login into the game and go to a planet/tower/or just stay in orbit...we both try to connect to each other and get the unable to connect error. We then do the following at the same time.. Guide - start - quit - A (1 of us calls it out) We are now on title screen... Count down 321 go. Press A Once on char screen ..321. Press A Then we try to join.. So far it worked every time since we started having the problem and started using this method. It doesnt always work the first try though sometimes we have to do it 3 times but it does eventually work!. You can give this a try hope it works for you! Note: This only happens with Destiny every other function of xbox live and other games do not have this problem. It happened to us after we got ROI expansion. This is certainly not an issue with your router or service provider