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Edited by CanuckCaliber:
7/27/2015 7:52:07 AM
651
Chuck Norris jokes: Destiny Style
I'll start:
- Chuck Norris has a 365 khvostov
- Chuck Norris doesn't fly to planets - they fly to him
- The lighthouse is where Chuck Norris lives
- Chuck Norris locked the Vex in the Vault of Glass
- Every round is a one hit final round for Chuck Norris... in his auto rifle
Any others? I'm not great with lore but I get the feeling that lore would make some great ones. (I will put up honorable mentions)
SuitedDust26277: chuck Norris gave birth to oryx
ForgetfulDrunk: Crota's shield doesn't regen in the "Presence of Chuck Norris"
AxeColossus: atheon had to ask chuck Norris what time it was
LankeeClipper: the impending doom that Rasputin saw coming wasn't the darkness, it was Chuck Norris
Cloudless9: gorgons try to be stealthy to avoid the chuck Norris gaze
Mxadvent: chuck Norris is the reason the cabal are running
RedDeadWeight81: the lighthouse tries to get to Chuck Norris every weekend
ElectroClaw: Before they fought Chuck Norris, the fallen were called the Standing
ThatShaunGuy: Skolas checks for Chuck Norris under his bed before he sleeps
RejectedShot: Chuck Norris can blink... on his titan
AngryBovine1419: Xur waits for Chuck Norris to arrive
Prinze: No matter your level, chuck Norris will always appear with "???" next to his name
YoSoyJackBauer1: The only bounty that Chuck Norris can't do is the post mortem bounty
AnimeFreak0: When you shoulder charge Chuck Norris... YOU die
Dalmori: All of the vault space we're missing... Chuck Norris has it
RagingPandaKC: Chuck Norris once killed the entire opposing team... then he spawned in
UraniumBoss235: RNGesus prays to Chuck Norris
Becket113: Chuck Norris can reload golden gun
TackyKid45: Chuck Norris once used fist of havoc, it is now known as "the big bang"
Nova_FrostV2: Crota's Oversoul was destroyed by Chuck Norris's gaze
Agito: Aksor refused to get out of his cell when he saw Chuck Norris
English
#Destiny
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Chuck Norris is the unknown benefactor
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The fireteam of oracles had to wipe when they realized they couldn't destroy Chuck Norris
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2 RepliesBungie nerfed Chuck Norris, this ended the golden age.
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1 ReplyThe scorch cannon was originally designed to be Chuck Norris's cigarette lighter.
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Chuck Norris shot felwinters lie ,it became the Truth.
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Nightfalls secretly contain the Chuck Norris burn. If playing as Chuck Norris, everything burns. Lord Saladin, Shaxx, and the Vanguard complete bounties for Chuck Norris. The Speaker has, with the help of the Cryptarchs, decrypted info found on a shard of the Traveler. It reveals that in the center of the Traveler, sleeping, there is Chuck Norris. I once gave Chuck Norris a common engram. He returned to me 8 Gjallerhorns, 2 Hawkmoons, 14 Mythoclasts, and one Touch of Malice. Osiris plays in the Trials of Chuck Norris. While most guardians can be "lost in time", Chuck Norris is "found in time".
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1 ReplyWhen Chuck Norris runs Crota, Crota wipes.
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The Hive invaded Earth because Chuck Norris went to the moon.
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When Chuck Norris plays as a Titan and pops a Ward of Dawn his fireteam members gain both Weapons of Chuck and Blessing of Chuck buffs, i.e. unlimited celestial nighthawk shots and invulnerability.
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4 RepliesVariks dismantled mines for Chuck Norris. The one person who will ever get the Fate of All Fools once shook hands with Chuck Norris. There is no coincidence. Omnigul cringes at Chuck Norris's screams. Chuck Norris once had pets. We call them Ahemkara. After approaching the last city, the thralls scream "We've awoken the Norris!" Mara Sov bows to Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris gave a few minutes of his time to help scientists with technology. It birthed the Golden Age. Chuck Norris's grenade is the Nova Bomb, his melee is the Fist of Havoc. His super? No one knows. No one has lived to see it. Chuck Norris got a Hawkmoon on the launch week...on the Xbox.
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Edited by ANooBis-801-: 9/14/2015 12:24:23 AMChuck Norris started the agents of the nine, The golden age was brought to you in part by Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris single handedly stopped the darkness, Rasputin was developed by Chuck Norris. On his lunch break, Chuck Norris trained Osiris.
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Chuck Norris wears two Helms of Inmost Light. On his fists. Skolas tainted Chuck Norris's light. Chuck set Skolas's taint a-light.
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3 RepliesChuck Norris has a Crota carpet in his room, Crota isn't dead, he is just afraid to move.
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1 ReplyChuck Norris's Wolfpack Rounds have Wolfpack Rounds. Oryx stopped his Dreadnought at Saturn because sensors detected Chuck Norris. The Hellmouth was created when Phogoth challenged Chuck Norris in the Cosmodrome. Chuck Norris can use every exotic, at the same time.
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When Chuck is playing as Gunslinger Hunter with celestial nighthawk equipped he can shoot TWO shots; one to kill the boss and the other as a celebratory shot into the air.
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3 RepliesEdited by Apex of War: 9/13/2015 10:52:42 PMChuck Norris was once given a pair of Peregrine Greaves. The resulting knee charge was so powerful, it eradicated the existence of [url=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fXW2FEJ4L4E]several planets, large portions of the remaining planets, and even history itself[/url]. What was left was released as a $60 game in September of 2014.
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The blast was named and created after chuck norris farted
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4 RepliesThe traveler is just [b]one[/b] of chuck norris's white blood cells
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The thing that the stranger is fighting in the future, is Chuck Norris
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Edited by GRIEVER: 9/14/2015 12:16:27 AMWhen Chuck Norris is running a nightfall and encounters an error on destiny servers, the STRIKE BOSS gets kicked to orbit.
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1 ReplyEdited by GRIEVER: 9/14/2015 12:12:44 AMWhen Chuck Norris uses etheric light his gear goes DOWN in stats.
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The Traveler came to our solar system because it heard Chuck Norris was here
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Edited by KingYeroc18: 9/14/2015 12:14:52 AMChuck Norris once threw a grenade at skolas. Skolas died. Then the grenade exploded.
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Bump.
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Edited by Thunder goose: 9/14/2015 12:13:32 AMThe stranger does have time to explain to chuck Norris
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2 RepliesKabr is Chuck Norris's son
