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Edited by maxesmagic:
2/18/2016 6:01:34 AM
201
I can't sleep. Give me destiny jokes!
As the title says, I need some destiny jokes, but as of this fifth edit, I am happy to get any jokes. Any topic. Also, as of this 9th edit, I can't sleep again, and need more humor. Please post anything, even stuff unrelated to destiny. Destiny jokes are still more than welcome, but I think almost all of them have been used already.
Inb4 destiny is a joke. I've heard it before, and don't give a shit about cynicism right now. Just need some humor to laugh myself to sleep!
Anything goes, even deadpan humor. In fact, deadpan is better. Make anti-jokes about destiny, or anything really!
Edit: I'm also watching dagashi kashi. Lots of fun!
Edit 2: I appreciate everyone's effort! You guys improved my mood a bit, and I'm starting to get sleepy. A couple of you (you know who you are) got me good, and I will comment if it's good enough to make me and my stony face crack a smile.
Edit 3: I think I'm going to try to get some rest. It's 1:50 AM, and I have to be up by 8:00. Fun times ahead...
Edit 4: I'm back! I got a good nights sleep, and at this point want more jokes to pass the morning until my class at noon. I have an appointment with a doctor in 15 minutes. Give me something to power me through having my toenail cut off.
Edit 6: I am loving the jokes! You guys are the bright spot in this toxic community! Keep jokes coming! I might change it to community rather than destiny, as I kinda want a mix of destiny jokes and regular jokes. Give me your best!
Edit 7: obligatory "we're trending" edit.
Edit 8: forgot to mention it's my first time trending. I was a bit surprised to say the least.
English
#Destiny
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4 RepliesWanna hear a joke? - no land beyond
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It was valentine's day I looked at the Gorgon It killed me "What the shit"
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What's a nice way to break bad news to a your patient? [spoiler]You've got harpies[/spoiler] What do you say to someone (or something) obscenely ugly? [spoiler]At least the over soul's checkin you out[/spoiler] What do you stand up and yell out to the waiter when he bring's you your food? [spoiler]*insert name here* SATISFIES HIS/HER HUNGER![/spoiler]
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2 Replieswhy does xur only come for 2 days [spoiler]he doesnt have enough patience and time[/spoiler][spoiler]ha[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyI love my girfriend like I love my SUROS Regime... I have no SORUS Regime...
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1 ReplyThis montage http://youtu.be/D7ZsoVZs5mk
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Did u put the multi tool in the vault? I mida
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Destiny jokes? How about the game itself? [spoiler]Jk bby, <3 this game[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyEdited by Grintka: 2/16/2016 6:28:51 PMSeveral taken thrall accidentally get caught in a tether. One of them screams out " we are -blam!-ed!!" and some other thall calmly responds, " no, we are taken".
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1 ReplyA blind man walked into a bar. And a chair. And a table.
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2 RepliesI got hit with a firebolt grenade so i got to cover and waited till the burn stopped. Got kicked to orbit for inactivity.. (Not my joke, saw it on the forums)
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Why is Rahool a whore? [spoiler]He loves to screw every Guardian that visits his stall.[/spoiler]
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5 RepliesHad a great destiny joke, but I Phogoth it.
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5 RepliesTwo titans in a staring contest. One human and one exo which one wins? [spoiler]none because titans can't blink [/spoiler]
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1 ReplyEdited by Der_Peevmeister: 2/15/2016 1:00:54 PM[i]Roses are red. Your item is blue. Your engram was purple. Sucks to be you.[/i] ---- Not originally mine.
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Destiny.
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Why cant titans close their eyes? Because they cant blink.
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2 RepliesWhat do people in unions and destiny players have in common? [spoiler]the love to go on strikes[/spoiler]
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Strolling round the tower in my hunter cloak Tether the bitches Blade dance the hoes
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3 RepliesWhy can't Xur get a date? [spoiler]because he has Dragon's Breath[/spoiler]
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So a hunter walks into a bar ...because no one wants them in their raid.
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2 Replieswhat can lifesavers do that men can't? [spoiler]kum in 8 flavors[/spoiler]
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What's Xur's favorite thing to sell? [spoiler] Disappointment. [/spoiler]
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9 RepliesWhy do titan helmets looks like an airplane? [spoiler]cuz they carry hunters and warlocks[/spoiler]
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7 RepliesEdited by Kirby235711: 2/16/2016 2:50:52 AMA warlock goes to a titan's birthday party. The titan opens up the warlock's gift and sees that he got her a skateboard. Wanting to try her new present out for a spin, she invites the warlock to come to the skate park with her. The warlock heads home to get his own skateboard. 20 minutes later, the titan is at the park waiting for her friend to arrive, when she hears someone scream. When she goes to investigate, she sees the warlock on the ground. After making sure he was okay, they laughed it off. Unfortunately, his skateboard had broke in half. He stumbles to a nearby bench and decides that he'd just watch his friend skateboard instead of renting one. After a while, the titan convinces him to try again on her own skateboard, as it was made of a much stronger material. He tries again, a bit more confident now that he had his previous experience, but falls and breaks his neck. Luckily, he's a sunsinger, so he uses radiance and gets back on his feet. It just goes to show you... [spoiler]Warlocks aren't as balanced as they think they are. [/spoiler] [spoiler]What? Did you think this was gonna be a joke about titan skating?[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyWhat do you call a Spanish man with a rubber toe? [spoiler]roberto[/spoiler]
