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This thread is inspired by another: view original post
12/29/2013 12:04:12 PM
28
Things your father told you not to do...
That you did anyway...
I can't remember anything really... the man was/is a dumbass. I guess he taught me to dislike most men, which I try not to do.
English
#Offtopic
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1 ReplyMy father told me never to believe in String Theory, but I can't help but believe that all matter is made up of tiny strings created by interdimensional super-arachnids.
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Don't pee into the wind.
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1 ReplyThere's only one thing I can remember from when I was four and that was when I would rub my [NSFW][spoiler]dick with my stuffed animals. I did it all the time and once I did it in front of the family (over my pants I think) and my dad shook his head at me with disapproval.[/spoiler]
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4 RepliesTouched a cactus.
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6 RepliesSuck a large amount of cock
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2 Replies"Don't hate your mother." Too late, I suppose.
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Always use a condom.
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17 RepliesDon't by that python Don't buy a second python, one is enough (one is never enough)
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2 RepliesTwerk for money
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Don't watch porn
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Masturbate
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2 RepliesPretty much talk to people. I like to blame my rather big social insecurities on the fact that if I spoke to people as a kid, when I got home he'd hit me with his belt. Father issues, eh
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Don't ever get a boa constrictor on your person. It happened. At a zoo. Luckily it was one that liked being put on people for photos.
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He said not to have sex with [i][b]A[/b][/i] girl. So I had a threesome. [spoiler]nah actually didn't[/spoiler]
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Ah man, he warned be about those stairs. He told me, dog.
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2 RepliesStep on the crack of an elevator's door shaft.
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Don't stab your brothers! He died in a knife fight ;(
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1 ReplyEdited by Cultmeister: 12/29/2013 12:32:06 PM"Don't throw that knife at your mother!" FU[i]C[/i]K DA ROOLZ
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3 Replies"Don't get females pregnant, son." I tell you huwatt.
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Press the red button.
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3 Replies"dont ride your dirt bike without a helmet" bitch, that helmet has spiders in there. probably a bunch of other stuff i did to deliberately piss him off. i cant remember though.
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1 Reply"Don't stand above me with a kitchen knife while I sleep". Well, he never actually said that, but had the possibility entered his mind I'm sure he would've.
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Send pix.
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Pass out drunk is one of the many.
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8 RepliesMy father's dead...
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5 RepliesBring home a man....
