Was seeing a girl for roughly 2 months. She had a week long trip to Hawaii. We did our thing, she left. 5 hours later, she shows up, says she changed her mind and stayed home. Odd, since she kept updating her Facebook about her trip. Figure eh, whatever, she's doing her own thing. Kept on as normal. Nine days later, she texts saying we should catch a movie since she's back. More confusion, but we go to the movie, catch some old chicago, make a night of it. Next Facebook post is of her and her twin sister taking a selfie on a morning jog. Apparently, I had been sleeping with her sister for a week while she was gone.

I put people on LFG if they piss me off. A lot. Even people who teabag when its unwarranted if I'm in a bad mood. But those people I just put up the post and forget about it. I don't refresh it or anything. Once had a guy cheat in Trials, I had him up on LFG for 10 days I think it was, refreshing the post regularly.

It was Halloween and this guy set the bowl on his steps and it had a sign that said take 3....I took 4!

Told a squeeker during a raid that his Dad should of pulled out.... I'm his Dad.

Tried to resurrect my dead mother with alchemy and instead lost my right arm and left leg. Oh, and also made my brother live in a suit of armor because I sacrificed his body.

LFG team needed a swordbearer for Crota because none of them knew how. They proceed to spend every round after a wipe doing the Heavy Ammo glitch. "Guys, trust me. I can get this done in one sword. Just pop a Heavy." We wipe because they're failing to down Crota properly or, on occasion, kill the Boomers. I keep getting blamed. They keep Heavy Ammo glitching. "You swung too many times! You didn't swing enough! You jumped too early!" "Guys, I can do this in one sword. Have a dozen times." More glitching. "Just in case." "Just don't jump early this time and we'll have it." I've had enough. Grab sword, down Crota myself, beat him down, Blink Strike, down him again, beat him again until he's at a sliver of health. Enrage. Only one more slam to do it. Team cheers as they assist with the last down. "Woohoo! Finally gonna do it on Hard!" "Dude, I hope I get the Crux." Crota kneels. I wave. "Dude, what are you doing?" [b]Severed Ronin has left the fireteam.[/b] (Edited to reflect that "Enrage" did proc.)

Just a random pick: Talked to a girl online who happened to live a few blocks away from my house. Looked do-able on pics and cam with dimmed lights. Managed to convince her that I wasn't some asshole who was gonna use her and got her to bring me a cigarette at 2am on a weekday. Opened the door... and almost got a heart-attack when I found out she was a troll related to hippos. Still let her come in my house, smoked the cigarette and managed to fvck her. The problem was, she was fugly and while I was fvkcing her, I decided I didn't feel like it anymore. So I took it out and she asked if I had already finished. I said 'no' and she gave me a blowjob. Wanted to cum in her face, but because I didn't want to look at her, I missed and came all over her jacket that was laying on the couch. I sat down on the other end of the couched and silently watched tv, until after 15 minutes she decided to go home. The end.

I was driving my then 12 year old girl home from school. It was cold, wet and raining very hard. My lifted truck had big wide 35,s on it at the time. As we were driving my daughter says to me "hey, there's that boy I like" and all I see is a kid walking towards us as we were going about 35 at him. Just as we went to pass I was a HUGe puddle next to the curb. I veered and hit the puddle. Hard. The wave of water knocked the kid ass over teakettle. My daughters face was priceless. She was waving at him when it happened.

I got stuck on an elevator with a quadraplegic and farted something awful.He looked like a possessed bobble-head doll trying to escape my silent killer.

ALLA-HU-AKBAAAR!!!!!

Here's mine It was a nice sunny day which is rare for Ireland so I decided I'd go to the beach because it sunny. So after reaching the beach I noticed something rather odd it turned out that I was watching a fight between two men and a bunch of women but here's were it gets kinda weird if this classed as weird anymore but apparently one of the women was some famous celebrity sorry I can't remember her name but midway through the fight she just started lying down with her legs wide apart bare in mind I was only 7 when this happened nobody had a clue what she was doing but soon after she was lying down i was scared so I ran over to her in case she was hurt I get there and she looks at me and says hold my hand so I did because I was oblivious to what was happening but it turns out she was giving birth to a child and when all the contractions is what you call him I think she squeezed my hand so hard that she broke 3 of my fingers after the baby was born everyone around started calling the emergency number I'm guessing because 4 ambulances turned up and a police car here's where it guess kinda weird after they pretty much take her away to hospital there two men started fighting but it's not the fighting that's weird they it's the fact one of the men decided to knock out the other and he crouches over his head and poops the biggest poop I had ever seen in my life on the other guy disgusting weird no but disgusting yes the guy then decided he wanted to streak if you don't know what streaking is look it up but be warned that man started streaking with a picture of the teletubbies tattooed on his back this freaked me the hell out also just a quick side note he didn't clean the remnants of poop that was still on him well I guess that's a weird but true story done for today

Sniped a Sunbreaker Titan the instant he popped his super. Made the guy rage quit in the middle of a skirmish match.