Meet GJALLARTRON.

The Thorn doesn't need an Element. From the looks of the forums, it does [b]Emotional Damage[/b].

Why is Peter Pan always flying? [spoiler]because he never lands[/spoiler] You know why I like that joke [spoiler]because it never gets old[/spoiler]

How do you catch a unique animal? You neak up on it! How do you catch a polar bear? You cut a hole in the ice put a bunch of peas around it and when he comes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole!

Why does it Suck to be an Egg? You only get laid once. You only get eaten once. It takes 4 minutes to get hard. Only 2 minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys. But worst of all...The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother.

Gets me everytiem

How many pirates does it take to hijack a freighter... [spoiler]A somilllion[/spoiler]

How many people does it take to fasten a lightbulb in Brazil? [spoiler] A brazillion [/spoiler] Sorry about the low quality joke, I'm just having a tough time right now. My girlfriend and I broke up and it's really tough because she lives right next to me... [spoiler]but she said we can still be siblings [/spoiler] [spoiler]i followed you too...[/spoiler]

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, Shut up...you're next!

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?[spoiler]None. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black[/spoiler]

There's a fly hovering above a lake. There's a fish below the water looking at the fly thinking if that fly would drop a couple inches I could have my dinner. There's a bear looking at the fish thinking if that fly would drop a couple inches the fish would get the fly I'd get the fish. There's a hunter behind the bear watching him thinking if that fly would drop a couple inches the fish would get the fly the bear would get the fish and I'd get the bear. There's a mouse behind the hunter watching the hunter thinking if that fly would drop a couple inches the fish would get the fly the bear would get the fish the hunter gets the bear and I would get the hunters sandwich. There's a cat behind the mouse thinking if that fly would just come down a couple inches the fish would get the fly the bear would get the fish the hunter would get the bear the mouse would get the hunters sandwich and I would get the mouse. So the fly drops a couple inches the fish gets the fly the bear gets the fish the hunter gets the bear the mouse gets the hunters sandwich the cat missed and jump In the lake. Do you know the moral of the story?[spoiler]if the fly drops a couple inches the pu$$y gets wet![/spoiler] Edit: I don't know how to follow you!

http://ifunny.co/fun/NaQFPBp13

Hope you like sick jokes lmao What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Not being disabled

I was in a park one day wondering why frisbees get larger the closer they get, and then it hit me.

http://youtu.be/CeVGNo5BNe4

Ok I'm finally done, I guess my jokes aren't as funny as I thought

What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

How does the fallen say hi in Spanish? Skola!

Recently I was diagnosed with attention deficit d

Fair warning, long read ahead, but I think you'll enjoy... --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [b]Three Guardians Walk Into a Bar - Part One[/b] A hunter, a warlock and a titan, walk into a bar. Inside at the bar, they see a jar filled with glimmer to the brim. They approach the bartender and inquire about the jar. The bartender tells them, "You pay 1,000 glimmer into the jar. There are three tests. If you can pass all three tests, you keep all the glimmer." "What are the tests?", the Hunter inquires. "Gotta pay first". The hunter, warlock and titan agree and pay in. "First, you have to drink that entire bottle of pepper tequila. The whole thing at once. And not make a face doing it." "Easy enough", the titan says. "Second, Master Rahool is hoarding an exotic heavy engram. You'll have to steal it from him. Not as easy at it sounds". The hunter smirks, "Good thing I have invisibility." "Lastly, that poor shipwright, Amanda Holliday. Always stuck in the hangar, busy with work, no company. Never had an orgasm in her life. You gotta make things right for her", says the bartender. "I'll just use fireborn to bring back my erection if needed", the warlock remarks. All three guardians agree to the tests at hand. They each down the tequila. Tears are streaming down the Hunter's face, the warlock is sweating and squinting, and the titan handled the first one fairly well so he had a second--wasted beyond belief. One by one they take turns in their drunken stupor for the next part of the test. The hunter stumbles out to the Cryptarch. After a brief curse, he returns. "Forgot to switch to Bladedancer". Failed. The warlock glides out like a fairy trying not to trip over anything while dazed from the tequila. He went for the above approach. Easily caught by the Cryptarch. Forgot to use Angel of Light. Failed. Now the titan heads out. At first it is quiet. Then there is some yelling, some rustling like theres a tumble going on, and an abrupt few grunts. The titan returns. He hands the bartender a handwritten note Rahool gave him. It reads, "Come back before I get bored..." "That's not what I asked you to get!", the bartender says. The titan nods his head in a drunken pride and says, "Now where's that shipwright with the exotic engram?" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [b]Three Guardians Walk Into a Bar - Part Two [/b] Several days after their first challenge, the hunter, titan, and warlock go back to the bar and approach the bartender. "Oh, it's you guys again. Back for a different challenge?" The warlock looks at the titan and says "We'd better hurry up before Rahool gets bored" *wink* "Haha very funny tinker bell" The bartender looks at them and says "Alright, same rules. You each pay 1,000 glimmer into the jar, and I'll tell you the tests. Winner gets the entire jar" Again, the three Guardians agree to the tests and pay in. "First, you gotta down an entire bottle of Kell's Blood. Don't worry its not actually blood, but its strong stuff." "I can handle that", the titan says. "Next, you gotta help out the broom bots. The Queen has arrived with her guard and they need the puddles cleaned up by their ship. Try not to get a boner though. Be sure to show her just how good you are. " "Pfft, easy peasy", the warlock says. "Lastly, the Stranger is out by the Speaker's hall. She actually brought the legendary version of her rifle with her, so I want you to steal it from her. She owes you anyway." "I'll remember blade dancer this time", the hunter says. One after the other, the guardians drink down the Kell's blood. The hunter coughs from the burn, but otherwise does fine. The titan drank it down like it was fruit punch, no extra for him this time. The warlock drank it slower than the others, but no issues. Then, warlock goes out first to help the broom bots. You could hear the Queen yelling. Several minutes later he returns. "I think the Queen was mad, guess I missed a spot." Failed. Next the titan goes out. Not long after, he comes back limping. "Slipped on a damn puddle those bots left near the stairs!" Failed. Then the hunter takes his turn. He is gone for quite some time and returns empty handed, but dazed from his drunkeness. "So, what happened?" "I did just like you asked, and showed that beautiful Stranger just how good I am" "You were supposed to go help the broom bots and the Queen first!", the bartender yells. The hunter looks up ashamedly and says, "turns out when she said 'little light', she wasn't referring to my ghost". --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Where do old people go when the cant take care of them selves anymore [spoiler]the prison of elders[/spoiler]

My dick is so polite, it stands up so girls have a place to sit down.

Somewhere on that ship is there's a kell What's the ketch?

What's the difference between the YMCA and Bungie? [spoiler]YMCA can actually support a community[/spoiler]