We were doing Kings Fall Hard Mode. We, being level 310's, blew through the raid. We were in a time crunch. Only 2 hours to complete it and XxboyXxkillaXxx had wasted 45 minutes on the jumping puzzle. We blew through Warpriest and Gogoroth. 30 minutes. Once again XxboyXxkillaXxx refused to switch from blink and wasted 20 minutes on the second jumping puzzle. We destroy the sisters in 5 minutes, the 6 of us pumping into Oyrx's Daughters. We have 20 minutes to kill Oyrx. We wipe twice, both times because of XxboyXxkillaXxx refusing to kill the ogres, claiming he is a pacifist. 10 minutes left. We do considerable damage to Oyrx in the first 3 rounds considering XxboyXxkillaXxx jumped off the side in the beginning shouting random Bill Nye quotes. Fourth round. I grab the relic easily. One guy dies by jumping into the ship. Another from the Vessel. 3 people left. We stagger Oyrx, but they don't make it to the blights. It is just me. I do barely just enough damage to Oyrx to bring him to the front. I accidentally reload my ToM, and run out of bullets killing an Aycolyte. I don't have time to use a primary synth. I put my last 3 sniper shots into Oyrx but it isn't enough. I can't use my sword. I am doomed. Oyrx chuckles. Ready to end my life. BUT WHAT IS THIS?! IN THE BOTTOM CORNER OF THE SCREEN! *Shesmynerd has joined the fireteam*. I see him rise above Oyrx. Cast in a veil of light. "Feel my wrath! For my name is Shesmyne... HE SHOT ME THROUGH A WALL!" *Guardian Down" Crap. Oyrx chuckles again. Tbaggs Shesmynerd and messages him, "Git gud skrub". BUT WHAT IS THIS! HOPE! *Smoggypluto has joined the fireteam* I hear the thud of a Sunbreaker super being used. He appears in a silhouette of light. The light slowly dies away and I see him. Smoggypluto. "I am not worthy", I cry. He looks at Oyrx. He opens his mouth but Morgan Freeman's voice comes out. "This is my swamp". He lifts up his Y10 Gjallihorn and kills Oyrx in one shot, while simultaneously Tbagging Shesmynerd's ghost. We all get our rewards. All 330 Light, except for XxboyXxkillaXxx, he gets shards. I didn't see mine. I sniffle and ask Smoggy what I got. "Check you're inventory." I completely missed Smoggy's misspelling of "your". I inspect myself and ghasp. Primary equiped: Y2 Thorn. Pre nerf. Chestpiece: Twilight Garrison. Secondary: Better Than Yours, exotic sniper. Heavy. I choke back tears. I must be strong for Smoggy. His Y10 Gjallahorn. Signed by Bill Nye, the Science guy. "Smoggy is love. Smoggy is life." I stammer. He hops on Xylar, The Timeless. "Black Ops 3 is going to kill Destiny", XxboyXxkillaXxx remarks. "Shut up Meg", Smoggy says. He winks at me and flies away to help others in need. "Smoggy is love. Smoggy is life." I repeat. The sound of Shesmynerd crying faintly in the background.

* a new Guardian goes out to the docking area of the Tower with a disconcerted look after briefly talking with Lord Shaxx * * Commander Zavala approaches Shaxx * [b]Z[/b]- Hey there- Uhm... That new soldier looked confused. Why did he come to you? [b]S-[/b] Oh. He wanted to know what the point of the Crucible was. More or less, his words were "[i]why are we sent to wreck one another, wasting time, efforts and munition, when we could be out there pushing the Darkness and his minions back[/i]"? [b]Z-[/b] A daring question, indeed. And what did you tell him? [b]S-[/b] Well, what do you expect? I told him the truth: that we send them out there to forge better soldiers. So they can train against enemies better, faster, smarter, stronger than anything that the Darkness can ever send at us: [i]more experienced Guardians[/i]. That they will learn from one another´s tactics and the true meaning of the strength of a team, and thus, when actually facing the Darkness, they will become unstoppable. [b]Z[/b]- A great answer, Shaxx. Honorable and inspiring. *Shaxx looks at Zavala* *Zavala looks at Shaxx* [b]Z[/b]- PFFFFFWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! And he bought that? [b]S-[/b] Like discount burgers, man! BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I can´t believe that line works every time! I mean, can you believe it?. Hey, hey, check this out.. * Shaxx pulls out a monitor, where a Titan tackles a Hunter* * voice of the Hunter throguh the comm- [i]THAT F*****NG GUY WITH THE SHOULDER CHARGE AGAIN[/i]!!* [b]Z[/b]- BAAHAHAHAHA! By the Traveler, this is just too much fun! Shaxx, man, you had the greatest idea when you decided to record matches. [b]S[/b]- Right? I mean, I just thought "dude, standing around the Tower waiting for some Guardians to come and buy equipment is BO-RING, there´s gotta be a way to find entertain"- oh, wait, watch this, [i]watch this[/i]! * Warlock charges at Titan with a shotgun. One, shot, Titan goes down* * Voice over the comm- [i]AGAIN WITH THE GOD****M SHOTGUNS[/i]!!* *Zavala starts to crack up. Shaxx hushes him, then pulls a microphone out of the monitor, clears his voice, then activates it* [b]S[/b]- (dramatic voice) [i]PROVE YOUR WORTH, GUARDIAN![/i] *closes mic* [b]Z[/b]- PAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! You cruel, merciless bas**** you just love doing that, don´t you? * Ikora Rey storms in with an angry look * [b]I-[/b] What the Hell are you two doing? I can heard you morons laughing from across the Hall, it´s impossible to conduct research like this! What´s the big deal? [b]S[/b]- Ikora, relax... *squints at her* We´re watching[i] Crucible matches[/i] * Ikora´s eyes flash* [b]I[/b]- OOOOOH, you should have said it before!! Cayde!! Cayde, bring popcorn, dude, there´s another show of scrubs wasting one another! [b]C[/b]- Yeah! About time! Hey, someone phone the guys at New Monarchy and Dead Orbit, see if they want to take bets on this. Who´s fighting now? * The voice of the Dead Orbit´s representative storms through the microphones* [b]D.O.[/b]- WE CAN HEAR YOU FROM ALL THE WAY OVER HERE, YOU PITIFUL, SAD EXCUSE FOR A VANGUARD!! * Dead silence. The spectators look at one another, with some shame in their face. [b]D.O.[/b]- I mean.... A new match started and [i]YOU GUYS DIDN´T PHONE RIGHT AWAY???[/i] I´m betting 12.000 Glimmer on the team with the Hunter that has a Third Man mask! [b]New Monarchy[/b]- We´re betting 15.000 on the team with four Titans!! *In the meantime, the Cryptarch has taken another Purple Engram and decrypted it into a toaster* Credit does not go to me, I found this but forgot who made it.

Why couldn't the guardian sleep!? Because he was "Awoken!" Ha! Haha! Heh... *throws self off cliff*

What's the difference between Bungie and Hasbro Bungie has more nerfed guns.

Destiny.

Oryx: doo doo doo doo doo, what a wonderful day what could possibly go wrong Crota: hi father Oryx: hello Crota I'll be back I need to go to my dreadnaught see you later Crota: ok *oryx calls Crota* Crota: hi dad Oryx: hi I'll be back I just got to take some things right quick Crota: ok I'll b.........ahhhhhhhh....*shing shing slash boom* Oryx: son noooooooo , he's gone *oryx goes to the moon* Variks: dismantle mines yes? Oryx: wait wait no no no no no no no no no no BOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!! what a wonderful day for oryx am I right? Lol idk if that was funny or not u tell me.

Can I get a bump so I can return to this daily?

What do the destiny forums and a One Direction concert have in common? [spoiler]they're both filled with whiny little girls...[/spoiler]

Your momma is so fat, Valus Ta'arch had to [b]reload[/b] to kill her.

I don't have time to explain why I don't have time to tell a joke.

A warlock was walking through Mars when he heard a strange banging sound from inside a building. Upon entering the the building, he was horrified to find tons of cabal bodies, pinned to the wall. Upon finding the source of the banging, he saw a Titan hammering a legionary to a wall. The warlock shouts "What the hell is wrong with you!" The Titan turns around slowly. The Titan looks at the warlock intensely , silently, looking right into his eyes for a good 15 seconds. Then, barely audible, he whispers... [spoiler]Caballs to the walls[/spoiler]

Noob 1:do you want to help me do daily Noob 2:no I did it yesterday

What's the difference between your ghost and a burglar? A burglar doesn't set off all the alarms :/

So Variks, lord shaxx, and the speaker walk into Taniks' house, and... Oh wait.

What do you call a hunter guarding a car? A Vanguard! XD

Hey girl is there a sync plate In ur pants beacuse my spire is rising

My son being a Warlock.... My 15 year old son, who has always seemed to me to be a little more feminine then most boys, sat my ex and I down and said he wanted to talk. As he began to speak I saw his eyes tearing up and his voice broke a bit. He said, "Mom... Dad... I've been meaning to tell you this for a while but I've been scared to say anything." My ex said, "Honey what's the matter?" He says, "I think... I think I might be a warlock." He broke out it tears. All I'm thinking is; I've lost a child. I said, "Are you sure you're not a hunter?!?! Even a titan?!?! Please son please!" My ex looks at me with disgust. "Are you serious?" she said. My son said, "Dad I'm a warlock. Look." He committed suicide and self resurrected. My ex says, "Honey we will love you whatever class you are. "RIGHT?"She looked at me. I left the room in horror. I don't know what to do. I can't even use him for the raid. What should I do? Should I throw him into the pit and let the hive take his light? Please help!

What's the difference between the YMCA and Bungie?[spoiler]YMCA can support a community[/spoiler]