Welcome back to Destiny National Geographic. Episode: I can’t count that high. Season: I also can’t count that high. Well I didn’t exactly have a plan for this one. So let’s go capture The Metal Captain because Spider told me to. We had to wait at thieves landing for the public event. [The Wait Begins] Dave: While we wait we should lay down and listen to the beautiful sounds of the reef. *Gunfire and explosions can be heard as asteroids smash into each other making the ground shake.* Dave: I’m loving this noise. I could go to sleep to this. [5 Minutes later] Turtles420: Guys I got an exotic! DerpyTaco11: Ok *falls asleep* Dave: What did you get? Turtles420: Oh boy! I got Edge Transit! Ha ha ha I’m going to got jump off a building. [10 minutes later] Dave: The Spider gave me a ton of cores! They were very cheap. I got 8. Now to infuse my- wait where’d all my shards go? [2 Hours later] Dave: Hey isn’t that Variks? Turtles420: I think it is. DerpyTaco11: *Wakes up from sleeping* Variks? Variks who? Variks: Hello guardians. I’m busy at the moment and can’t be bothered. Dave: Maybe we can help. Variks: I’m fine. *Variks starts to swiftly walk away* Turtles420: Variks. Where you going buddy. Let us help. Variks: No *We followed Variks around until he gave us a clear answer.* Dave: please Variks? Variks: No. no. no. Stop. You’re in danger. *Turtles420 puts his hand on Variks’ shoulder.* Turtles420: Come on man, tell me what’s wrong. *Variks just stared at the hand on his shoulder* Variks: I warned you. *A bullet flies past Dave* Dave: Oh Shit! DerpyTaco11: Someone is trying to assassinate Variks! Get inside a building! Dave Cover us. Dave: Yes sir! *Turtles420 pushes Variks inside a building and locks the door* Dave: Who the hell was that? Variks: This is your fault, yes? DerpyTaco11: Keep your eyes on the doors and windows. [1 minute Later] Turtle420: I pretty hot in here. Dave, can reach that vent above you? Dave: Sure. *Dave pulls the vent off with little effort* Dave: Well that was easier than I th- *Something grabs Dave and begins to pull him into the ventilation shaft* Dave: [Yells in Unknown language] WHAT THE -blam!-! DerpyTaco11: The Vents! It’s in the vents! *Dave, in a crazed panic, starts wildly firing his rifle* Turtles420: Jesus Christ Dave! You’re gonna hit one of us. Dave: HELP ME -blam!-!! *Turtles420 starts shooting the ceiling but it’s no use Dave disappears into the vents* Turtles420: Nobody told me we’d be fighting a Xenomorph. DerpyTaco11: Don’t worry Variks we will take bullets for you if it comes to that. You are like the President and we are the secret service. Variks: While I am no president I am the Kell of Kells. *A skip grenade flies through a window and lands on Turtles420* Turtles420: It’s stuck on me! Ahhh! DerpyTaco11: OH MY GOD! Mr. President get down! *DerpyTaco11 tackles Variks as Turtles420 explodes* DerpyTaco11: Ok I’m the only one left. Show yourself and fight like a man! *A Huntress leaps in through the window* DerpyTaco11: Oh hi. *DerpyTaco11 gets domed in the head with an Edge Transit* *Ghost Revives DerpyTaco11* Ghost: Before that guardian left, she told me to tell you that no one, except her, is allowed to be near Variks. DerpyTaco11: So that’s why Variks ran from us? Ghost. What drugs am I on? [4 Hours later] Turtles420: I better get paid more for this. DerpyTaco11: You don’t get to decide your pay. Dave: Yeah Turtles we don’t get to decide what we get paid. Turtles420: I’m not standing here for 6 Hours just to get paid 2 nickels and a dime. Dave: Yeah DerpyTaco we deserve better. DerpyTaco11: Dave, who’s side are you on? Dave: I’m on my side! [The Next day] DerpyTaco11: Any 5s? Dave: Go fish. *Turtles420 walks over to a wall of concrete and bashes his head against it* Dave: What are you doing? Turtles420: Dying internally. Dave: oh, ok. [Eventually] Dave: Well that was easy. Turtles420: Can we finally leave? DerpyTaco11: Yes we can. *Derpy checks the bounty* DerpyTaco11: Hunt down the Metal Captain in the... Drain at the EDZ. *Dave blows himself up with edge transit* Turtles420: Someone Kill me. Just do it! I actually want to die. *Turtles420 runs up to a nearby dreg* Turtles420: Kill me! Do it. Come on. *The dreg begins to slowly back away* Turtles420: What are you waiting for?! Do it P——! This has been Destiny National Geographic! I hope you enjoy. 🥖🥖🥖