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7/25/2016 10:53:59 PM
64
A Girl Touched My Balls
So while staying up at Washington at my grandma's, a younger friend of hers came up to visit with her two kids. The oldest was around my age, maybe a year younger, and the other one was six. I had known the oldest for quite a few years because she had come visit with her mom before.
Unfortunately, my grandma only has a wii with Wii Sports Resort and MW3 (dear god it's horrible on the Wii). Or so I thought. After digging around in some cabinets, I found the diamond in the haystack. Super Smash Bros Brawl and a second Wii controller. I asked M'lady if she'd like to play. We both played for a bit to get used to it and we both were winning against each other every few matches. After our tenth match, I decided to step it up a notch. I deselected meta knight and selected Ike. It would be one of my more painful decisions.
I was unstoppable. No one could beat me. Not my brothers or the one six year old. After she finished flirting with my second cousin, M'lady challenged me. At the end of the eleventh game (I won the last ten), she looked at me with a seductive look, crawled up on me, and shot her knee straight up into my crotch. The tears in my eyes left me visually impaired, thus costing me my winning streak.
English
#Offtopic
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3 Risposteany update?
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Yeah I'll never be a fan of local multiplayer games for that exact reason. It always leads to that awkward moment of should I be mad or completely get back to playing the game and act like everything is fine because I shouldn't hit a girl.
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1 RispondiGlad I'm not the only one that had to experience CoD on the wii *shudders*
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1 RispondiYou think that's bad I just watched a video of doctors removing a 132 pound nut sack from some poor guy
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1 RispondiI should go post this on Halo Waypoint :P
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10 RisposteWhat if everything you ever wanted... WAS TO KICK EVERYTHING IN THE FACE!? FOREVER! THEN YOU NEED PEREGRINE GREAVES!!! PUT THESE SWEET LEGS ON YOUR TITAN AND YOU WILL DECIMATE THINGS WITH YOUR POWERFUL KNEES. THEY ARE GEMS. YOU WILL LOOK GLAMOROUS LIKE A STYLISH LADY WHILE YOU KNEE SOMEONE IN THE THROAT SO HARD THEIR TEETH GO THROUGH THEIR SKULL! YOUR LEGS ARE BEDAZZLED! BEDAZZLED WITH THE STRENGTH OF 1,000 KODIAK BEARS IF KODIAK BEARS CARED ABOUT GRAVITY AND EVOLVED TO DO SWEET JUMPKICKS! YOU WILL SET YOUR CHILD ON YOUR KNEE TO GIVE HIM SOUND FATHERLY ADVICE ANDTHAT CHILD WILL EXPLODE BECAUSE YOUR KNEES ARE INSTANT DEATH! YOUR SON WILL DIE! YOUR WIFE WILL DIVORCE YOU! YOU WILL DIE ALONE ATOP THE MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES YOU'VE LEFT IN YOUR WAKE AS YOUR LIFE DISSOLVES INTO A NIGHTMARISH HELLSCAPE OF VIOLENCE AND DEPRAVITY! YOU WILL TAKE PEREGRINE GREAVES INTO THE CRUCIBLE AND YOU WILL MASSACRE PEOPLE! YOU WILL KILL THEM ALL! YOU WILL KNEE BLADEDANCERS! DENIED! GET THAT BUTTERKNIFE THE HECK OUT OF HERE! YOU WILL KNEE RADIANT WARLOCKS AND CAUSE THEM TO WEEP RADIANT TEARS! YOU WILL KNEE GOLDEN GUNSLINGERS...CAREFULLY.... YOU WILL KNEE OTHER TITANS IN THEIR BUBBLES, DIVING INTO THEIR NEON DISCO DANCE PARTIES BLIND AND MURDER THEM WITH YOUR ENERGY LEGS! IT IS YOUR BUBBLE NOW SO THAT GU---wait, THE BUBBLE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU!? WHY THE HECK DID YOU DO THAT!? YOU WILL RUIN YOUR K/D LIKE I HAVE BECAUSE YOU ARE ADDICTED TO THE SWEET, SWEET SOUND OF INSTANT AIRBORNE DEATH! YOU WILL CATCH SO MANY SHOTGUN BLASTS TO THE FACE AND IT WILL BE WORTH IT WHEN YOU KNOCK A BLADEDANCER OUT BEFORE HE CAN CHOP UP YOUR TEAM! EVERY PAINFUL DEATH WILL BE VALIDATED AS YOUR LEG COLLIDES WITH A FIERY WARLOCK'S GOAT HAT SO HARD THAT HE'S RENDERED BRAIN-DAMAGED AND HIS FAMILY FIGHTS WITH THE STATE OF TEXAS TO TAKE HIM OFF OF LIFE-SUPPORT! HE WILL LIVE OFF OF TUBES! BECAUSE OF TEXAAAAAAS! PEREGRINE GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES!!!
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Ike is op
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4 RisposteI have never heard a more tragic story of love, lust, and betrayal.
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Damn lol, i was expecting something else, great ending!
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Not the (happy) ending I was expecting, but still entertaining. Sorry for your balls.
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That's more than most can say here.
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2 RisposteMe too.
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>M'lady Welp, can't say I didn't see that coming
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Ice Climbers FTW.
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*virginity intensifies*
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6 RisposteThey must be related
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4 RisposteYou damn casul a true champion wears a cup.
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Did you properly use your nair and fair. Gg
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2 Risposte[quote]A girl touched my balls So while staying up at Washington at my grandma's, [/quote] I don't think i wanna know where this is going
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Damn...
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Wolf was lowkey the best
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5 RisposteKirby is lowkey meta
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2 RisposteIke master race! Also marth and samus are pretty good.
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13 RisposteTsk tsk. Non Kirby plebeian.
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1 Rispondiyou said the word "M'lady" and i knew that this wouldn't be either sexual or real
