I rear ended someone a few months ago. Ended up being my old English teacher from sophomore year. FML
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Getting to know Fyre and Jenny
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Modificato da Pistol Magic: 4/29/2016 7:28:34 PMThat moment when your auto-correct corrects your last name to "Deformed". FML [spoiler]And your b-day is September 11th[/spoiler]
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Modificato da Nibber Schipper: 4/28/2016 1:01:04 PM>be me >wake up at 12 >OH SHIT I AM 3 HOURS LATE TO SCHOOL >get dressed and stuff >hurry to school >realize I don't have school >kills self
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2 years on Bnet.. 3 years on Bnet.. 11 years on Bnet........
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>be me >be about 6 years old >run round plantpot in school >run directly into another person >bang heads >bleeds >8 years later >still have a dent in my head >still can't even math
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2 RisposteWhen they said the wouldn't make any more Xbox 360 (;-;)7 RIP
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2 RisposteModificato da the phoenix362: 4/22/2016 9:19:37 PMWhen the entire class cheats off of you on a test and you dont want them to cheat off you cause you think its scummy
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This one time someone on the forums was a tool and then got banned from bnet... her name started with cat and ended with fish... fml
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When I was 10 I pissed my pants in the middle of a talent competition on a cruise in front of about 100 people 😃
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*posts funny FML Comment
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1 RispondiMe becoming a robot and -blam!- for a Damned living
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when u traded me for nobadys
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2 RisposteDivorcing my wife because she didn't support my sock collection. ಠ╭╮ಠ On the bright side: still have the socks
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1 RispondiBack in school (like 3 years ago) Walk into classroom Sit there for half the class (45 or so minutes) Realize this isn't the class I'm supposed to be in Stands up, walks out, doesn't say anything. Teacher just watches without saying anything Walk into right class Teacher says "there the f[i]u[/i]ck you are" (back when no one cared about cussing) Looks at teacher and says "I just sat in the wrong class for half the period, what am I doing with my life?" Teacher replies "same thing you usually do, going in a downward spiral you crazy bastard." Ends up seeing the teacher in public "Hey you're that guy that-" "You remember me?" "Yeah, I thought I'd lose my job!" "Oh, yeah I was in the wrong class." "So you just left?" "Uhhhh yea? :)" From that point on everyone in that school knew me and joked about me just randomly leaving classes.
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1 RispondiWhen I saw my son had looked up "Queef Latino" on my laptop [spoiler]but then I remembered that he loves female rappers and is also dyslexic[/spoiler]
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3 RisposteSo i was sitting in my chair playing video games, minding my own business. Then, as I reached for my glass of tea, the table violently assaulted my elbow! I hissed at the evil inanimate wooden object and rubbed my elbow, as if that would make it feel better. That was when I saw that my glass was empty. And sideways. And it had conveniently poured over important papers. Shit. I run to the kitchen to grab a rag and refill my glass... tea is a priority. As I make my way back to my room, I hit that same elbow on the bathroom doorknob. I pause to hiss at the evil inanimate metal object. My mother calls out from the other side, "The f[b]u[/b]ck is your problem?!" "This is between myself and the door, mother! Best you stay out of it!" I make it back to my room and clean the table. Luckily, none of it poured onto the carpet. Satisfied that my mistake has been undone, I turn to deposit the filthy rag in the washing machine. As I exit my room, my elbow is assaulted by a cardboard box full of clothes my mother is carrying. I hiss at the evil cardboard object currently animated by my mother and am promptly slapped across the face. This happened yesterday and my elbow still hurts like hell.
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3 RisposteModificato da Girraffalope: 4/20/2016 8:08:59 PMI think about a month ago as I met this random lass by a uhm...store but the thing is that as I was walking by she asked me if I was 18 and for the life of me I couldn't lie I said yea and she asked me to buy her some fags(cigarettes) but I couldn't say no because she looked so wasted I kinda had pity for her so I went and bought her some after going back and forth for like 30 mins because her damn cancer sticks were not available ffs, but anyways I gave em to her and for my luck someone that used to know me from was walking by like ffs what are the chances? -_- long story short so basically now I'm a branded smoker that buys cancer sticks to other smokers as well ffs
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1 RispondiWhen I was told I was adopted after 15 years (; ͡°; ͜ʖ ͡°;)
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10 RisposteThis one key on my sax sticks for so fûcking long, and every time it does everyone just looks at me. It's so awkward
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Every morning at 5:52 AM. Then again at 6:01. Then one last time at 6:10.
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1 RispondiSo yesterday I knew it was wed. in the morning but somehow through the day I started thinking it was Thursday until late last night I realized it wasn't going to be Friday today. Yea
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I have to take 3 tests today Fml
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Im just going to add "the Italian" to my name like everyone else now
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Got pulled over doing [b]well over[/b] the speed limit... wearing a Speed Racer shirt.
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Ran into a stop sign balls first. [spoiler]had to pay for damaging the stop sign [/spoiler]
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Well, I woke up this morning.