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Modificato da TheAlphaPorch:
4/13/2016 8:36:28 PM
587
Actual funny jokes NOW!
[b]Make me sum funny jokes or else you will be "Fired" by sniper Lenny [/b]
━╤デ╦︻(▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)
Here's one
What do you call a mans penis on a metal sign?
[spoiler]magnet-dick (Mag-net-dick[/spoiler]
[spoiler]100 bumps oh cool (replies)
200 bumps Wut?
300 bumps i can't even...
400 bumps Serious?
500 bumps How?!
600 bumps ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
700 bumps for f*** sake
800 bumps How is this trending?!
900?! Bumps?! HOW?!
1000!!!!! HOLY SHIT!
1100! MMMMM
1200! THIS AINT B8 M8!
1300! THIS IS ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
1400?! *Furiously faps*
[b]1500!!! TRENDING!![/b]
1600... O_O
1700 Determination.
1800, M9
1900! WAT r dos!!
2000. PURE TRENDING
2100! THERES NO END!
2200!! KEEP ON GOIN!
2300... ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ
2400! ALL HAIL POTATO
2500?! LANDMARK REACHED!
2600! CHOO CHOO!
[/spoiler]
ATTENTION ALL JOKE MAKERS!
We have reached a land mark... 2500!
As a reward if I see a really funny joke I will put
ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ <-----Happy Lenny.
Then you can feel good.
🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭
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1 RispondiSo two satellites got married. The wedding wasn't much but the reception was incredible.
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28 RisposteHow many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? [spoiler]silly you, feminists can't change anything[/spoiler]
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10 RisposteWhat does DNA stand for? [spoiler]National Dyslexic Association[/spoiler]
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What's black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
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5 RisposteA car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."
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4 RisposteWhat do you call a man without a dick? [spoiler]Anomaly[/spoiler] [spoiler]lol u mad[/spoiler]
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2 RisposteAnomaly... Get it? She's the joke...
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2 RisposteA soldier prepping for combat realizes he misplaced his rifle, and tells his captain. The captain responds with, "are you serious? Here, take this broom" The solder asks what good the broom will do, and the captain tells hims to just point it and tell "bangity bangity!" After landing for the attack, the soldier points the broom at the first enemy he sees and half-heartedly yells "bangity bangity", and, to his surprise, the enemy drops like a stone. The soldier proceeds yelling "BANGITY BANGITY", felling enemies one by one with his broom until the area is clear Then, the soldier sees a lone enemy slowly walking towards them in the distance. The soldier yells "bangity bangity!", pointing with his broom, but it does nothing. The soldier then tries running up to the soldier, yelling "STABBITY STABBITY", but soon finds himself on his back, being crushed by an invisible force. The enemy walks up to the dying soldier, and whispers "tankity tankity"
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1 RispondiAlright so there's this mollusk and he walks into a bar... well he doesn't walk obviously he kinda just floats and.....
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1 RispondiWhat's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? [spoiler]acne waits till you're 13 to come on your face[/spoiler]
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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? [spoiler]The Boy Scout come out of the camp[/spoiler]
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1 RispondiOk. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house! Ok that was bad. Try this Knock knock Who's there? [spoiler]THE CHICKEN![/spoiler]
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Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people. [spoiler]I'm going to hell.[/spoiler] [spoiler]Not my joke.[/spoiler]
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1 RispondiMarry had a little lamb who's fleece is white as snow It went down to the club one night to drop it hella low
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3 RisposteMy ex wife still misses me [spoiler]But her aim is getting better![/spoiler]
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1 RispondiChuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions
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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
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Oranges are amazing If you push an orange under the water he will come back up because he is lonely without you Orange love you unconditionally if you cuss at him he will keep on loving you because he has no ears An orange has no ears but he is not immune to your feelings If you roll an orange up a hill he will roll back down if he doesn't that means he hates you and you have no friends or family and you have cancer Never let an orange drive he has no arms or legs If an orange has an hourglass figure he is bad and you should throw him away but he will hate you and try to kill your family with bricks If you see a glass of orange juice instead of your orange he has been killed and you need to cry [spoiler]I'll think of more later.[/spoiler]
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7 RisposteA teacher walks up to a students desk during class, points a ruler at him, and shouts; "THERE IS AN IDIOT AT THE END OF THIS RULER!!!" The student calmly replies: [spoiler]which end?[/spoiler]
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17 RisposteIsaac and his mother lived alone in a small house on a hill. Isaac kept to himself drawing pictures and playing with his toys as his mom watched Christian broadcasts on the television. Life was simple and they were both happy. That was until the day Isaac's mom heard a voice from above: "Your son has become corrupted by sin. He needs to be saved." "I will do my best to save him, my Lord," Isaac's mother replied, rushing into Isaac's room, removing all that was evil from his life. Again the voice called to her: "Isaac's soul is still corrupt. He needs to be cut off from all that is evil in this world and confess his sins." "I will follow your instructions, Lord. I have faith in thee," Isaac's mother replied as she locked Isaac in his room away from the evils of the world. One last time Isaac's mom heard the voice of God calling to her: "You've done as I've asked, but I still question your devotion to me. To prove your faith, I will ask one more thing of you." "Yes, Lord. Anything," Isaac's mother begged. "To prove your love and devotion, I require a sacrifice. Your son, Isaac, will be this sacrifice. Go into his room and end his life as an offering to me, to prove you love me above all else." "Yes, Lord," she replied, grabbing a butchers knife from the kitchen. Isaac, watching through a crack in his door, trembled in fear. Scrambling around his room to find a hiding place, he noticed a trapdoor to the basement hidden under his rug. Without hesitation, he flung open the hatch just as his mother burst through his door and threw himself down into the unknown depths below...
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2 RisposteWhat's worse? Ignorance or apathy?
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39 RisposteSo my friend got mad when I sniffed his sisters panties It didn't help that she was still wearing them It also didn't help that his whole family was there watching It also made the rest of her funeral awkward
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Fite mi Lenny
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If the worlds best lier told everyone that he isn't going to lie anymore is he telling the truth? [spoiler]don't ask me [/spoiler]
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3 RisposteModificato da Festivegoose: 1/24/2016 9:55:55 PMOne day, a school was learning medical stuff, and the teacher asked the kids to bring in medical equipment. The next day, little Bob came in half an hour late and burst in dragging an air filter. 'It's me grandad's' he explained. 'Didn't he say anything about you taking it, Bob? No, he just said [spoiler]Where are you taking tha---- ------------[/spoiler] [spoiler]apologies for offence in advance[/spoiler]
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What do you call a black women that has had 9 abortions? [spoiler]a crime fighter [/spoiler]
