Welcome to another Unofficial Weekly Update brought to you by MurdiusMaximus. While you wait for the real weekly update, here's a little something to keep your appetite at bay! The star of this week's Nightfall was Aksor the Archon Priest! He was unavailable due to being passed out in his cell, so I decided that I would interview the one and only Xur, Agent of the Nine! [b]Xur! Great to see you! Thanks for taking some time to answer my questions![/b] Happy to be of service, Guardian. [b]So I think the burning question on everyone's mind is: what do you do with all of those Strange Coins[/b]? Why do you want to know that? [b]Well, because we're all curious! You sell the most powerful gear in the game, but what is your interest in Strange Coins? No other vendor takes them...[/b] They are spent. [b]OK...?[/b] What is your next question? [b]Uh...well, a lot of people (myself included) are wondering when you are going to sell Gjallarhorn again, so please tell us![/b] You will know when it happens. [b]But...that is the worst answer ever![/b] But it is an answer. [b]I guess so...So what do you do when you aren't at the Tower?[/b] I go where I must go next, where here isn't; but there is. [b]Not much for answering questions are you?[/b] Are you kidding me right now? [b]What?[/b] Are you joking? I don't answer your questions?? [b]Well, you are being pretty cryptic...[/b] You want to know where I go when I'm not here? What I spend the Strange Coins on? WHO F***ING CARES?? I BRING YOU SHIT TO BUY. YOU BUY IT. I LEAVE. THAT'S ALL THERE F***ING IS ASSHOLE! Oh but that's just not good enough for you is it? Huh? Gotta know what I do when I'm not around? WHAT F***ING BUSINESS IS IT OF YOURS DUESCHBAG?? [b]Hey look, I'm sorry -[/b] YOU SHOULD BE F***ING SORRY! DO YOU HAVE ANY DAMNED IDEA WHAT I GO THROUGH TO GET THE CRAP YOU BUY? I HAVE TO SLIT THROATS FOR THIS GARBAGE! BUT IT'S NEVER GOOD ENOUGH! YOU WANT A F***ING GJALLARHORN! [b]Hey it's cool man calm down -[/b] IT'S NOT F***ING “COOL,” ASSHOLE. NOT AT ALL! MY. WILL. IS. NOT. MY OWN. DO YOU GET IT? I AM TOLD WHAT TO BRING AND I BRING IT. WANNA KNOW WHERE MY STRANGE COINS GO? IN YOUR ASS JACKOFF, THAT'S WHERE. YOU THINK THIS IS EASY? I DON'T GET TO KEEP ANY OF THE COINS. NOT A SINGLE F***ING ONE. THE NINE TAKE THEM. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR? [b]Well no but -[/b] IT AIN'T F***ING EASY! FOR TWO DAYS A FRICKEN WEEK I GO TO THE TOWER AND STAND THERE (JUST STAND THERE MIND YOU...NOTHING ELSE) AND SELL THINGS. TO MILLIONS OF YOU PRICKS EVERY SINGLE MOMENT. AT THE SAME TIME! I GET TO KEEP NOTHING FROM IT! AND YET, YOU ONLY SEE THAT I DON'T HAVE GJALLARHORN AND BITCH AND MOAN ABOUT HOW MY STOCK IS AWFUL WEEK AFTER WEEK! SHUT THE F*** UP ABOUT GJALLARHORN! I KNOW YOU ALL WANT THE F***ING THING, BUT I DON'T CONTROL THAT! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?? [b]I guess so...?[/b] OH “YOU GUESS SO?” OKAY. F*** YOU. I GUESS YOU LIKE THAT HUH? F*** YOU! NO APPRECIATION! HONESTLY YOU CALL YOURSELF A PROFESSIONAL!? [b]Kinda channeling your inner Christian Bale there aren't you?[/b] REAL FUNNY MORON! I TOLD YOU I WOULD ANSWER SOME OF YOUR QUESTIONS AND I F***ING DID! I AM SUPPOSED TO BE CRYPTIC! I DID MY DAMN JOB HERE! [b]Yeah I think we're done here...[/b] YEAH YOU'RE DONE! GET OUTTA MY FACE! AND GO GET YOUR OWN F***ING GJALLARHORN AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS WHILE YOU'RE AT IT TOO YOU PRICK! Okay...well there you have it...from Xur himself. A little salty it seems... Xur brought with him the Hard Light auto rifle. This is the second time that he has sold the gun in recent memory. The weapon is famous for having a good stability, rate of fire and being generally fun to use. However, many players feel that this gun, much like auto rifles in general needs a buff in damage since the crippling nerf they got in the latest weapons patch. One player said “It's like shooting someone with tickles.” Iron Banner wrapped up yet again last week. Many players were overjoyed to see that Lord Saladhead brought along both the chest piece and helmet, as well as Efrideet's Spear and Timur's Lash, two guns that are well embraced by the community. However, the rotation of Iron Banner was plagued with lag issues, prompting one forumite to say “Fix the lag or I quit Bungie!” There was also a very heated controversy yet again surrounding the hand cannon Thorn. Many users feel the gun is completely overpowered and saturated the monthly event. Many topics were posted crying out for Thorn to be nerfed, with one user saying “Thorn and it's DoT damage makes two shotting people way too easy.” Another user said, “If you use Thorn, you're a scrub.” There was also issues taken with the way Heavy ammo works. We've reached out to Bungie for comment, but have heard nothing back as of yet. A mysterious “Big Surprise” is dropping tomorrow according to Bungie's website. There has been no mention of what exactly the surprise is, but it has many forumites excited. One user said, “Maybe Xur is bringing Gjallarhorn at long last!” Others feel like it may be something along the lines of a new reveal for the upcoming House of Wolves expansion. Another user replied “Maybe we'll all get another sparrow!” One more user yet said, “Perhaps they are revealing a new raid after all!” We'll find out tomorrow! Bungie did another reveal on Wednesday on the Prison of Elders. The new mode will be like a horde mode, complete with bosses and revolving buffs or debuffs for each round. Also included were various critical objectives that needed to be completed or else the round results in a wipe. One player felt like it was “a first person version of the Mass Effect 3 multiplayer.” It was also revealed that at the basic level, the arena can be run as many time a week as you want, but that the three more difficult tiers can only be run once per reset. Loot rewards for the arena weren't unveiled, but a look at the description showed that Etheric Light was a reward for some of the more difficult runs. Many players were excited over this reveal, but many were also very let down. One poster said, “So what exactly is new about this?” Many players feel like this mode is a cop out in the face of not including a raid with the House of Wolves expansion. Many players also expressed disdain at Bungie's special guest, Professor Broman. The professor was very audibly excited, which agitated a lot of people viewing the stream. A topic has surfaced asking that he be banned from Destiny forever. Other users defend the streamer, saying that excitement is not a bad thing and that we should be excited that he is excited. A new sidearm weapon was unveiled as well as a reward for completing the new quest line. The hand gun will have an elemental property to it (arc was shown) and will have incredible stability and reload at the cost of shooting marshmallows for bullets. The community is split on the gun, many feel that it won't replace any of the current secondaries. One poster did say however, “That it might be good for stripping shields off of fallen.” Also unveiled was a new rocket launcher type of weapon. Similar to the relic and the sword in the previous raids, this gun features a short charge up time followed with a devastating explosive round that can be detonated upon release of the trigger once it sticks to the enemy or wall. That's all we have time for this week Guardians, thanks as always for reading, and remember to keep those guns piping hot and those Strange Coins handy for when Xur comes on Friday! We'll see you in the Wild!