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Modificato da The Stranger:
3/19/2015 7:08:56 PM
63
How to Slack Off at Work: A Lesson from The Speaker
You may think the speaker is an idiot but he's a lot smarter than you realize. The man pretty much taught me everything I know about doing nothing at work and getting away with it! Don't believe me? Try these 5 easy steps for yourself:
1. Leave lots of technical papers, books, and devices scattered all over your desk so that it looks like you're too busy to help with anything else
2. Occasionally mumble senseless gibberish in a barely audible voice so that people find it awkward to engage you in any way
3. If you are asked a direct question, answer with an incomprehensible blend of analogies, cliches, and unfinished anecdotes
4. Assign your subordinates a never-ending series of random, pointless tasks to maintain the illusion that you know a lot more about what's going on than they do
5. Begin every email with the phrase "I could tell you..."
Bump if you lol'd or post any lessons the speaker has gifted you with!
"It's no time for questions! We must be bold!"
English
#Destiny
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So Mich truth
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5 Risposte"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with BS"...my dad always said...
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Sometimes I like to run down the hallway peeing, and yelling "OH GOD, IT WON'T STOP!!! SOMEONE HELP!!!", and when it stops, I say " oh...".
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5 Risposte1) I always make sure my desk has one of those wet wipe napkin packages sitting on it that looks exactly like a condom, halfway open. 2) I will periodically yell "That's what she said!" Across the office, and play an unspoken game with people called "that finger doesn't go there". 3) When my boss asks me how sales are for the day, I say how's your wife today? He says "say that again". I say "It again". He walks away. I text his wife. 4) I tell all of my subordinates to write a different take on the movie "inception" every day and have it on my desk before lunch. 5) I don't do this. But I do add "with my wiener" to the end of every sentence in every email.
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I could tell you why i used the company charge card at the strip club.....
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1 RispondiWhich part of this was funny? I couldn't find anything funny.
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My hero
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Lesson not taught by the speaker but still a lesson. Idiots rule the earth.
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14 RisposteI had a boss like this, once. Didn't wear the appropriate mask, tho. Kinda wish he did. Dude was fugly.
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Hahagahaha
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lol so true. weak guardians i spend all my time thinking up new cheeses to use on those half wit guardians.
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1 RispondiWho is this Speaker you're talking about? It's not the same dude we visited way back in September is it?
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This sounds like something out of a dilbert comic
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1 RispondiModificato da FractalMass: 3/19/2015 10:50:21 PMThe Speaker is actually in the business of selling shaders and knick-knacks. Haven't you been to his shop? All of this "push back the Darkness" junk is just saleswork. If the Hive, Fallen, Cabal, and Vex would just accept that "franchise" offer from the Speaker, then the fighting would all be over. Aggressive expansion, as they say.
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9 RisposteNow that I think of this, could this logic be applied in school? Please don't hate. I'm asking a legit question.
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1 RispondiVery comical, I must say
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5 Rispostedang how can u guys read all this. ill read like the first sentence, then my brain starts to over heat
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2 RisposteHe has perfected the art of looking busy. Took me years to achieve his status.
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No man should have that much power.
