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Modificato da GEEKFEST:
2/21/2015 3:33:41 PM
217
The Darkness has been pushed back.
Guardian Tower News reports that shares for The Nine™ corp closed today at a record high. A company spokesman attributed rising share prices due to the record volume of heavy ammo being sold.
"Guardians are buying it by the hundreds, word is from my boss that the company is finally going to be able start offering employees health insurance. I'm so excited to finally be able to see a doctor about some medical issues" - Xur
In related news the Vanguard is reporting that the darkness has been pushed back due to the endless supply of rockets guardians have been able to obtain. Tower news has interviewed several of those most effected:
"Everyone just kind of gave up and went home. I'm not sure what their plans are now. All that is left out here in the Cosmodrome are a couple of dregs and a shank" - Randall, Fallen Vandal
"Just another case of immigrants taking our jobs. Heavy ammo was our best seller, us mom and pop shops aren't able to compete at those prices. We may have to close up shop." - Banshee-44, Gunsmith
"I used to be the only one who had an unlimited supply of heavy ammo. This is very worrying, I am no longer a special snowflake. Bungie pls nerf" - Rockets McDickface
"-Blam!" - Crota, Son of Oryx
When reached for comment the Speaker declined, only mentioning that he could comment.
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Brilliant!
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This is truly great! (slow clap)
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Amazing
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"When reached for comment the Speaker declined, only mentioning that he could comment." Genious.
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OMG this post is great. Bump
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Hahaha Crota.
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Lol @ Crota's reaction
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Great read!
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awesome. I lol'd
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2 RisposteSomeone pls reply so I can come back to this
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Hilarious! Well played sir
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Haha. I didn't know crota had jokes
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And now to Lord Saladin for the daily Iron Banner weather! *cue weather music*
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Xur's medical problems = no land beyond shoved up ass in a fit of rage
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Well reported sir!
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You are a gentleman and a scholar! Well played good sir!
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Nice :)
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No comment from Billy the Thrall?! Or Greg the Dreg!? Hank the Shank?! No dance parties anywhere!! WHAT?!?!?!?!
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I love you.
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Hopefully Xur will be able to get cosmetic surgery for those THINGS coming out of his face. FYI, I did NOT buy the heavy ammo, but I bought No Land Beyond just to participate in something....
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Lmao I love you no homo.
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I saw "-blam!-- Crota, son of Oryx and I died laughing. Phew..... Lmao
