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Modificato da GEEKFEST:
2/21/2015 3:33:41 PM
217
The Darkness has been pushed back.
Guardian Tower News reports that shares for The Nine™ corp closed today at a record high. A company spokesman attributed rising share prices due to the record volume of heavy ammo being sold.
"Guardians are buying it by the hundreds, word is from my boss that the company is finally going to be able start offering employees health insurance. I'm so excited to finally be able to see a doctor about some medical issues" - Xur
In related news the Vanguard is reporting that the darkness has been pushed back due to the endless supply of rockets guardians have been able to obtain. Tower news has interviewed several of those most effected:
"Everyone just kind of gave up and went home. I'm not sure what their plans are now. All that is left out here in the Cosmodrome are a couple of dregs and a shank" - Randall, Fallen Vandal
"Just another case of immigrants taking our jobs. Heavy ammo was our best seller, us mom and pop shops aren't able to compete at those prices. We may have to close up shop." - Banshee-44, Gunsmith
"I used to be the only one who had an unlimited supply of heavy ammo. This is very worrying, I am no longer a special snowflake. Bungie pls nerf" - Rockets McDickface
"-Blam!" - Crota, Son of Oryx
When reached for comment the Speaker declined, only mentioning that he could comment.
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Funny and surprisingly well written. Bravo.
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Great post
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U should have added:I feel like teleporting myself because I'm getting destroyed again and again. -Atheon,Times Conflux I can't teleport anymore because I'm getting destroyed by the rockets in one relic super. -The Templar
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3 RisposteCrota never said that btw he kinda killed half your audience
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Bcuz da content is on the other side
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Come check out my twitch for helping normal and hard Crota Checkpoint!! If you need help to add WingThing. Twitch is wingthing50
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Come check out my twitch for helping normal and hard Crota Checkpoint!! If you need help to add WingThing. Twitch is wingthing50
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Please continue these, too funny.
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This Is Amazing Well Done
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Come check out my twitch for helping normal and hard Crota Checkpoint!! If you need help to add WingThing. Twitch is wingthing50
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1 Rispondi"I could tell you what I could comment, but that would remove my shroud of mystery." -the speaker
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9 RispostePoor Atheon wasn't even approached for an interview.
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Lost it at the crota part.
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1 Rispondi10/10 would bang.
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Lol nice
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You win the Internet.
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Too amazing
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2 RisposteThis would make an excellent title for destiny porno
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Laughing so hard
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Well done.
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Awesome.
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Brilliant!
