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Modificato da GEEKFEST:
2/21/2015 3:33:41 PM
217
The Darkness has been pushed back.
Guardian Tower News reports that shares for The Nine™ corp closed today at a record high. A company spokesman attributed rising share prices due to the record volume of heavy ammo being sold.
"Guardians are buying it by the hundreds, word is from my boss that the company is finally going to be able start offering employees health insurance. I'm so excited to finally be able to see a doctor about some medical issues" - Xur
In related news the Vanguard is reporting that the darkness has been pushed back due to the endless supply of rockets guardians have been able to obtain. Tower news has interviewed several of those most effected:
"Everyone just kind of gave up and went home. I'm not sure what their plans are now. All that is left out here in the Cosmodrome are a couple of dregs and a shank" - Randall, Fallen Vandal
"Just another case of immigrants taking our jobs. Heavy ammo was our best seller, us mom and pop shops aren't able to compete at those prices. We may have to close up shop." - Banshee-44, Gunsmith
"I used to be the only one who had an unlimited supply of heavy ammo. This is very worrying, I am no longer a special snowflake. Bungie pls nerf" - Rockets McDickface
"-Blam!" - Crota, Son of Oryx
When reached for comment the Speaker declined, only mentioning that he could comment.
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[quote]When reached for comment the Speaker declined, only mentioning that he could comment.[/quote]
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Yes. Beautiful.
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Funny stuff!
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1 RispondiStill the best.
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1 RispondiThis shall not die
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Yeah think I bought 800 that weekend I only had space for heavy ammo lol
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12 RisposteNecrobump
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Speaker said :" I could tell you ..."
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[quote]When reached for comment the Speaker declined, only mentioning that he could comment.[/quote]
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Funny, great post :)
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3 Risposte
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Best thread of 2015
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Necrobump
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2 RisposteNecro bump
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-: Newsbreak :- The new timestream only news magazin "The Intercepted" reports, all exotics sold by Xur are inscribed with the arcane runes 'Instant NERF killswitch'. Pundits interpret this as a hidden means for [i]The Nine[/i] to manipulate the weapons we Guardians so heavy rely on. The Crypatrch has said on this matter: "Now Guardians will once again learn to love my reliable blue engrams and what they can offer!"
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9 RisposteCrotas reaction. Priceless... "Crotas going right guys...he's stil going right...still going...he's going through a door...and he has left the moon completely..."
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