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3/17/2021 3:13:04 PM
25
Eva Levante DIES.(fanfic)
Eva was going through a nice stroll in the Tower. While she was on her way to see the H.E.L.M for the first time, one of the Darkness Scanners scanned her, and before she could destroy it to cover her tracks, the machine guns came online. She died right there, on the steps of the H.E.L.M. Her body was found a month later
[spoiler]This is my excuse for not posting any terrible fanfics lately[/spoiler]
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3 RepliesNow why did you kill off poor Eva? How come nobody kills off Tess? Seriously. If D3 opened up with a cutscene of the Guardians throwing Tess off the Tower, I'd preorder multiple copies.
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If she ever dies, it will be from some of those weird ass ingredients she uses to bake with. Personally, I think she runs the drug trade in the seedy underworld of the Tower. Overdosing on vex milk would be a seemingly fit way to go for her.
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3 RepliesNow if we can just get idk every single guardian to t-bag her body.
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1 ReplyNon canon.
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Martha Stewart from space...no!!!
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2 RepliesCool, lets cremate her in her frigging cookie oven.
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2 RepliesWell wasn't this an actual theory for the first few months of D2? That she died in the attack on the Tower? She was absent from the new tower for quite a while, wasn't she?
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5 RepliesNice. Now for Hawthorne, and Tess.
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That machine gun was none other than the heir apparent that the guardians are testing once completing the catalyst. (Actually imagine that the 12 man bug is still working and the 12 players that hated Eva prep the scanners before killing her with the same gun she gave them).
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Sir Eva is an extracorporeal being
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3 RepliesFoolish. Eva Levante [b]cannot be killed[/b]
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1 ReplyI love how it takes them a month to find her body 😂😂
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6 RepliesEdited by Phyromancer: 3/17/2021 6:41:19 PMEva died of cardiac arrest from all the salty cookies the Guardians have been baking because of repetitive bounty and grind gameplay. Salt came from all the sweat and tears! They probably added a sprinkle of 💩 in there, too! 😂😂😂 Become Legend! Like Martha Stewart! What a game! 😂😂😂 💩!
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No!! Not the hot sexy granma!!
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Eva Levante is an immortal Karen. She will forever be every Guardian's grandmama, caretaker, party planer, and baker.
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Impressive. Had me the whole read.
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Brilliant 😂😂😂
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That’s hysterical. You should make a spoof series. Every week she does some other ridiculous way.
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Nothing like scrolling through the forums and seeing a post titled Eva Levante DIES
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[quote]Eva Levante DIES.[/quote] ... My disappointment is immeasurable... and my day is ruined.
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God why can’t this be real? Don’t think anyone would miss her.
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Quick and to the point. Bravo.
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I might have been on board if you said Tess
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What just happened? lol
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1 ReplyI got lost in this immersive piece of art, well done!
