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Edited by Lime087461:
6/25/2019 5:46:23 AM
14
I’m on a 5hr car ride. Keep me entertained.
Help. I’m on a long car ride and need something to entertain me. I don’t have earbuds which is a real let down. I’ll be here for a while so if anyone needs to talk about something personal feel free to PM or anything like that. :)
Edit: I made it. Will be posting on the way home
English
#Offtopic
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If you have already arrived at your destination this pic still works.
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1 ReplyAre you there yet?
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1 Reply“What the -blam!- is that? What the -blam!- is that a -blam!-ing cat? Don’t look at me like that, that’s a weird looking -blam!-ing cat. Ma! There’s a stray cat out here, don’t want it starting a fight with Lucy. Ma! There’s a weird -blam!-ing stray cat out here. It looks like grandma, the -blam!-ing thing! Don’t even know if that’s an actual cat. [i]Blink mother-blam!-er!”[/i]
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1 ReplyTalos the mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we GIVE PRAISE! WE ARE BUT MAGGOTS, WRITHING IN THE FILTH OF OUR OWN CORRUPTION! [b]WHILE YOU HAVE ASCENDED[/b] [b]FROM THE DUNG OF MORTALITY[/b], [b]AND NOW WALK AMONG THE STARS!![/b] BUT YOU WERE ONCE MAN! AYE! AND AS MAN, YOU SAID "LET ME SHOW YOU THE POWER OF TALOS STORMCROWN, BORN OF THE NORTH, WHERE MY BREATH IS LONG WINTER. I BREATHE NOW, IN ROYALTY, AND RESHAPE THIS LAND WHICH IS MINE. [b]I DO THIS FOR YOU, RED LEIGONS,[/b] [b][i]FOR I LOVE YOU[/i][/b]." AYE LOVE. [b][i]LOVE![/i][/b] EVEN AS MAN GREAT TALOS CHERISHED US. FOR HE SAW IN US, IN EACH OF US, THE [b][i]FUTURE OF SKYRIM![/i][/b] [b][i][u]THE FUTURE OF TAMRIEL!!![/u][/i][/b] And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the CHILDREN OF MAN! [b]TALOS IS THE TRUE GOD OF MAN![/b] [b][i]ASCENDED FROM FLESH, TO RULE THE REALM OF SPIRIT![/i][/b] THE VERY IDEA IS INCONCIEVABLE TO OUR ELVEN OVERLORDS! SHARING THE HEAVENS WITH US?? [b]WITH MAN??[/b] [b][i]HA![/i][/b] THEY CAN BARELY TOLERATE OUR PRESCENCE ON EARTH Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? DO THE ELVES TAKE YOUR HOMES? [b]YOUR BUSINESSES?[/b] [b][i]YOUR CHILDREN?[/i][/b] [b][i]YOUR VERY[/i][/b] [b][i][u]LIVES!!![/u][/i][/b] And what does the Empire do? NOTHING!! NAY, WORSE THAN [b]NOTHING![/b] THE IMPERIAL MACHINE ENFORCES THE WILL OF THE THALMOR! [b]AGAINST ITS OWN[/b] [b][i][u]PEOPLE!![/u][/i][/b] SO RISE UP! [b]RISE UP, CHILDREN OF THE EMPIRE!![/b] [b][i]RISE UP, STORMCLOAKS!!![/i][/b] [b][i][u]EMBRACE THE WORD OF MIGHTY TALOS, HE WHO IS BOTH MAN AND DIVINE!![/u][/i][/b] [b][i][u]FOR WE ARE THE CHILDREN OF MAN![/u][/i][/b] [b][i][u]AND WE SHALL INHEIRIT BOTH THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH[/u][/i][/b] [b][i][u]AND WE,[/u][/i][/b] NOT THE ELVES OR THEIR TOADIES, [b][i]WILL RULE SKYRIM!![/i][/b] [b][i][u]FOREVER!![/u][/i][/b] TERRIBLE AND POWERFUL TALOS! WE, YOUR UNWORTHY SERVANTS, GIVE PRAISE! FOR ONLY THROUGH YOUR GRACE AND BENEVOLENCE MAY WE TRULY REACH ENLIGHTENMENT!! AND DESERVE OUR PRAISE YOU DO, [b]FOR WE ARE ONE![/b] ERE YOU ASCENDED AND THE EIGHT BECAME NINE, YOU WALKED AMONG US, GREAT TALOS, [b]NOT AS GOD[/b], [b][i]BUT AS MAN!![/i][/b] TRUST IN ME, WHITERUN! TRUST IN HEIMSKR! [b]FOR I AM THE CHOSEN OF TALOS!![/b] [b][i]I ALONE HAVE BEEN APPOINTED BY THE NINTH TO SPREAD HIS HOLY WORD!!!![/i][/b]
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Own a musket for home defense, since that’s what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. “What the devil?” As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he’s dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it’s smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, “Tally -blam!- lads” the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended. What I like about Grape Nuts is that there are no gimmicks. There’s no cartoon bird prancing about on the box cover, there’s no commercial with Barney and Fred getting in fist fights over a bowl of Grape Nuts, you get a box full of cereal and that’s it. It’s not even a big box filled with air and prizes, it’s just a pound of wheat and barley with a picture on the front. What I have here is living proof that Grape Nuts is truly life changing. A four pound box of Grape Nuts, in all it’s glory. Any other box of cereal this size would weigh half as much, which makes them half as good. There’s something to be said about a cereal with the same density as sand. Just holding the box gives you a sense of power like holding a baseball bat or a meat cleaver. There is some serious loft to this cereal. I could kill a man if I had to with this and I’m not even joking. Another thing I like about Grape Nuts is that it sinks right to the bottom of the bowl. There’s nothing glamorous about it, no lame snaps or crackles, no different colors, no marshmallows, just a pile of food sitting at the bottom of a bowl of milk. Eating the food is an adventure within itself. Bite too soft and you aren’t gonna break a one. Bite too hard and you might chip a tooth. It really is a wild man’s cereal. I’m not even going to talk about the taste of Grape Nuts, because there isn’t any. If there wasn’t milk you would swear that you were eating gravel, the only different being that gravel might soften up a bit. The very best part of Grape Nuts is after the whole eating experience. If you’ve ever accidentally swallowed a rock you know what it’s like to eat a bowl of Grape Nuts. The feeling of it sitting in the bottom of your stomach is a reminder for the rest of the day that you actually ate the stuff, rewarding you long long after you take the last bite. MAIN POINT OF SELLING BELGIAN FIVE SEVEN PISTOL IS EXTREME PRICE OF WEAPON AND CARTRIDGE. BELGIAN FIVE SEVEN IS WEAPON OF MAN WHO WEARS EXPENSIVE ITALIAN FASCIST SUIT OF HAND SEWING, DRIVE HUGE EXPENSIVE [url=http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law]-godwinslaw!-[/url] MERCEDES OF A.M.G. SHOP, SAIL ON MASSIVE YACHT TO GREEK ISLANDS. I THINK YOU GET PICTURE. BELGIAN FIVE SEVEN IS WEAPON THAT SAYS IS NO SUCH THING AS CONCERN OF MONEY. FOR MAN WITHOUT EXPENSIVE SUIT, BIG BLACK MERCEDES, AND MASSIVE YACHT, BELGIAN FIVE SEVEN IS FOR PRETENDING OF BE RICH LIKE BLACK GANGSTER OF AMERICAN CITY WITH GOLD CHAINS OF LOW QUALITY AND JEWELS OF COLORED GLASS. WHEN YOU EXPLAIN USE OF BELGIAN FIVE SEVEN PISTOL IS ONLY FOR SHOOT MAN WITH BULLET VEST WITH CARTRIDGE ILLEGAL TO CIVILIAN, THIS MAN HAS NUCLEAR RAGE. WHOLE IDENTITY OF THIS MAN IS SPENT IN PRETEND PISTOL SHOWS HE IS RICH. IS VERY AMUSE. FOR REST OF WORLD THERE IS 9 MILLIMETERS OF LUGER WHICH IS SAME WOUND FOR COST LESS.
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Koalas are -blam!-ing horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their -blam!-ing lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like -blam!-ing satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're -blam!-ing terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I -blam!-ing hate them. Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet. 22 commentssharesavehidereport
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Welcome back With non stop and gasoline Happy to see your still on track I’d shave to say your looking quite clean Five hour drive After which you must be feeling sleepy And that’s where the bed will thrive
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1 Replyhttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ck5f9LzQmjY
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2 RepliesIf you got internet, watch this Internet series. It is goddamn brilliant in its humor
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1 ReplyHow about some puns? What do you call a fly without wings? [spoiler]A walk.[/spoiler] Why did the scarecrow get an award? [spoiler]Because he was outstanding in his field[/spoiler] Can a Kangaroo jump higher than the empire state building? [spoiler]Yes. The empire state building can't jump.[/spoiler]
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3 RepliesAre we there yet?
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12 RepliesWhy are you in a car for that long? [spoiler] entertainment: [quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote]👏🏻[b]Meme 👏🏻Review[/b][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/spoiler]
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1 ReplyHere's my index page, with links to stories like "Kinderguardians", "Gray Goo", and "When Sunbreakers go Nuts". https://www.bungie.net/en-US/Forums/Post/228589572
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5 Replies😆😁😄😃😀😅😂🙃🤣☺️😊😌😉🙃🙂😇😍🥰😘😗😙😜😝😛😋😚🤪🤨🧐🤓😎😞😒😏🥳🤩😔😟😕🙁☹️🥺😩😫😖😣😢😭😳😤😠😡🥶🥵🤯🤬😱😨😰😥😓🤥🤫🤭🤔🤗😶😑😐😬🙄😲😮😧😦😯😴🤤😪😵🤐😷🤧🤮🤢🥴🤒🤕🤑🤠😈💩🤡👺👹👿👻💀☠️👽👾😹😸😺🎃🤖😻😼😽🙀😿👏🙌🏿👐🏾🤲🏾😾🤝👍👎👊🏾✊🏽🤟🏿✌🏿🤞🏿🤜🏿🤛🏿🤘🏿👌👈🏻👉👆🏿🖐🤚✋🏿☝🏿👇🏿🖖🏿👋🤙🏿💪🏿🖕🏻💄🦵🏿🦶🏿🙏🏽✍🏿💋👄🦷👅👂🏿🧠👀👁👣👃🏿🗣👤👥👶🏿👧🏿👨🏿🧑🏿👩🏿👦🏿🧒🏿👩🏿🦱👨🏿🦱👩🏿🦰👨🏿🦰👱🏿♀️👨🏿🦲👩🏿🦲👨🏿🦳👩🏿🦳👱🏿♂️👩🏿🦳👨🏿🦳👩🏿🦲👨🏿🦲👲🏿👴🏿🧓🏿👵🏿🧔🏿👳🏿♀️👳🏿♂️🧕🏿👮🏿♀️👮🏿♂️🕵🏿♀️💂🏿♂️💂🏿♀️👷🏿♂️👷🏿♀️
