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Edited by Breach:
6/4/2019 9:58:38 PM
17
In kind of a bad place right now. Slight advice/venting thread
I kinda just realized how shitty/fake most of my friends are.
A lot of them (friends since HS) were super excited I was going to transfer to their (private) college however my mentor and I crunched some numbers together and found if I went to a different college a few hours away I would save a ton more money.
So I told them what was happening (I had some plans to room with some of them) and suddenly they stopped responding to texts. A few days later I texted them again asking if something was up and they said no but I had a suspicion there was. It was later kinda confirmed when I made an insta poll and it got viewed by all of them but none voted. Not gonna lie, that shit felt like cold steel in the guts.
Moral of the story is know who is keeping you around for themselves and not for you. If they are truly your friend they will A) ALWAYS be happy for you if you’re trying to better yourself, B), ALWAYS defend you in an argument, even if you’re dead wrong, and C), they’ll also defend you when you’re not around and you’ll know about it without them telling you. Be on the lookout for fake friends, and make new ones if you need to.
I’m kind of in a tough spot with them, I wish they weren’t so immature and would actually tell me how they feel instead of playing this passive aggressive “I didn’t get my way so I’m not talking to you” bullshit.
/rant, thanks for reading.
Edit: To avoid confusion on what I meant by always defend even if you’re wrong, I mean that in a public setting. If they pull you aside and tell you that you’re wrong in private after the argument, that’s a different story and I’d be ok with it.
Edit 2: I’m done talking about Option B. That is not the main talking point of this thread. The last thing I will say about it is I consider diffusing the situation to be agreeing with your friend. Any responses regarding Option B will be replied to with “Bump” and nothing more.
Edit 3: Lol downvoters? When I said I’m in a bad place? Y’all are worse than my evil persona that breaks through occasionally on here. At least I know when to take off the asshole goggles. *slow clap*
English
#Offtopic
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definitely a shiity situation dude. you could try reaching out to one you (maybe) trust individually: they might just be complicit but not malicious. clarification could help give you closure, but ultimately it's probably better for both you and them if they're gone. just remember that all friendships have a time and a place - you'll move on
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1 ReplyMan, I've had the same group of friends since middle school, we're all in college now. Tonight we got together and painted for a Warhammer event next month. Every Friday we do DND. I talk to my buddy in the army at least 3 times a week over the phone, and probably more over Xbox. My advice is to find a group of people that just enjoy doing shit together regardless of what it is.
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I’ve had friends just like that be best friends and then they all just stop talking seeing just stopped everything it’s a real punch in the gut to be honest I have never had true friends I honestly feel like everyone I am friends with will just disappear at some point so I don’t really trust anyone at this point and I don’t try to get friends anymore [spoiler]twirls stache [/spoiler]
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Maybe they read your racism post and relalized ...
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9 RepliesGotta disagree with you on the "always defending you in an argument" part. A true friend will have the guts to tell another friend that he's wrong. A true friend is a person that wants to see you become a better person, and sometimes that includes having to tell you that you've made a mistake.
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9 RepliesEdited by Sealed Graffiti: 6/4/2019 7:30:16 PMB) is not true, my friend who I have been close with as long as I can remember tells me whenever I’m wrong in something... [spoiler]perhaps you could join the void...[/spoiler]
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16 RepliesOtter Two: Electric Boogaloo.
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1 ReplyGood rant, although I absolutely cannot agree with B in your whole "what good friends do" thing. Good friends don't let friends wander in their own stupidity if they are objectively wrong. If you're objectively wrong, I will call you out on your bullshit specifically because I am your friend. If the topic is subjective and I disagree, I'll either agree to disagree or keep my mouth shut, but otherwise expect me to do it. I know some may not appreciate it, but I know my friends do because they know it means that I will never bullshit them.
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1 ReplyEdited by Upperclass Bum: 6/4/2019 10:47:51 PM[quote]Edit 3: Lol downvoters? When I said I’m in a bad place? Y’all are worse than my evil persona that breaks through occasionally on here. At least I know when to take off the asshole goggles. *slow clap*[/quote] You came to a circle jerking cesspool where the only stuff that gets up voted are shitpost made by "popular" users... honestly what did you expect? Especially after making some ridiculous point about how a real friend would always tell you you're right (paraphrasing ofc)...
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Tbf, I can understand where they’re coming from. Give them time, I’m sure you’ll be able to figure things out with themb
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It sucks, but it’s also a burden off of you. One way friendships are heavy, and you don’t realize it after they end. Friendship is a mutual thing, if only one side carries it it doesn’t work out. I found who my real friends are. I joined the marine corps, moved to japan, and am “gone” for a couple of months each year.(out at sea you can’t really connect with people). A lot of people stopped talking to me. But a few, some who haven’t even seen me in seven years, still race up for a hug and then it’s like I never left. Others stopped talking to me because I didn’t share their political views. Yet I have other friends who disagree with me, and can still be friends. Think of it like working out. It hurts and you stink, but then you get a raging six pack, and biceps that put mountains to shame. Those friends that stuck it out are your mountainous biceps, and the pride you’ll have for each other is a great thing.
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8 RepliesI totally understand what you're going through. I've had a ton of crap friends in the past. Make sure to look on the bright side that there are other people who will treat you better than your old friends, and make sure to take this as a lesson of who you want to trust. I've had ton of crap friends in high school, and I've heard that college/university is better (and least I hope so) since most of the students are more mature than the ones in you high school (again, I hope so, I don't know for certain). I hope that things get better for you, and that you're able to find friends who truly care for you.
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1 ReplyAhhhh, the silent treatment
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13 RepliesEven with your clarification B doesn’t make any sense. A fake friend would be the one siding with you no matter what, because they’d want to make sure they look the best in your eyes. A real friend would trust you enough that they would feel comfortable taking the stance against you.
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5 RepliesDamn man ;-; At least you found out sooner rather than later. A lotta people can be fake, and yea, I’ve had my fair share of them.
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1 ReplyThat sucks. I can’t trust people to be my friends...
