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7/15/2016 3:16:12 PM
35
I have a confession to make.
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"'Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads!"
English
#Offtopic
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Edited by ferial56: 8/20/2016 1:52:03 PMAt first I didn't get it. It was at the worst time that I finally understood. Hilarious XD
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Ha heard this a few years ago.
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1 ReplyI bursted out laughing in church to this...
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8 Replies*Reads* *Doesn't get it* *Reads again* *Still not getting it* *Scrolls aggressively through comments* *Still doesn't f'n understand* *Leaves thread furiously* 10 minutes later: OH MY GOD... *Starts laughing, chokes on drink* 10/10 x'D
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YEASH!!!!
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That's good :)
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This was -blam!-ing great
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I honestly didn't see that coming 10/10
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11 RepliesShow spoiler
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Ha it's funny because I'm catholic 10/10
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1 ReplyYou got this shit from a Red Bull commercial.
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6 RepliesI don't get it.
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10 RepliesBefore humans and monsters and even light entered the world, the everlasting dragons ruled over the land, living in massive stone-like arch-trees that extended so high into the sky that you couldn't see their tops. The dragons were immortal and invincible with stone scales that protected them from any assault. Not much else is known about this time period in Dark Souls' lore, but after a millennia existing as beings of the darkness, the dragons’ rule was ended with the coming of fire. The light called the First Flame came from the depths of the world and contained extremely powerful Great Souls that give whoever possesses them god-like power. The Souls of Lords were found by Gwyn the Lord of Sunlight, Nito the First of the Dead, and the Witch of Izalith. The Furtive Pygmy, the first ancestor of humanity, gained the Dark Soul. Together they took their newfound power and made war against the ancient dragons. Gwyn harnessed the power of lightning to destroy the dragons' tough scales, ridding the ancient beasts of their defenses. The Witch of Izalith and her daughters of chaos unleashed great firestorms to destroy the arch-trees. Nito cast a miasma of disease on his enemies and a dragon traitor named Seath the Scaleless betrayed his own kind, sealing the destruction of all the everlasting dragons. Destroying the dragons brought an age of fire and light and prosperity for humanity. But as time went on, the light of the First Flame began to fade, along with the power of the Souls of Lords. In order to keep the age of fire from plummeting into a new age of darkness, the Witch of Izalith attempted to use her power to create a new flame, but the process morphed her and her daughters into hideous monsters and spread corruption and demons across the land. In a last ditch effort to save the flame, Gwyn sacrificed himself to fuel the First Flame, creating the undead curse and corrupting his army of loyal knights. While the Souls of Lords weakened, the Dark Soul, held by the Furtive Pygmy, became more powerful. The Pygmy split the Dark Soul into pieces creating humanity, with each human holding a small portion of the Dark Soul until they lose it and become hollow. With the world corrupted, humans who have lost their humanity and become hollow are sent to the Asylum to await the end of the world. This is where the Chosen Undead (the player) begins his or her journey.
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I am so dead..... 10/10[spoiler]gr8[/spoiler]
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2 RepliesPriceless
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4 RepliesI don't get it
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Lol that boy knows how to play the game. -salute-
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Red Bull commercial. Nice.
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2 RepliesI'm Catholic, and I find this absolutely hilarious! XD [spoiler]Im going to hell for this. :|[/spoiler]
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Smooth
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Niiiiice
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...XD
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Edited by Cyber: 7/15/2016 8:15:52 PM
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5 RepliesThat was just [i] [/i] Show spoiler
