I start a game of Iron Banner. I'm running Nirwen's Mercy and 1000 Yard Stare because I'm a pseudo-scrub. I look at the teams. It already doesn't look good for me. My team consists of random fireteamless no names trying to use fusion rifles for some unknown reason. The other team consists of all FaZe children, except Shesmynerd. I have already received 3 messages calling me a "downy" and to stop lagswitching and the game hasn't started yet. We fly in. It's Twilight Gap. Alright not too bad. We spawn in at C, I make a mad dash for B leaving the rest of the team behind. They get C and I get B without trouble. This might just work. NO NO NO NO NO! They're capping A! What idiot caps all 3 zones in Control, let alone Zone A in Twilight Gap! It is falling to crap and I haven't seen an enemy yet. *Shesmynerd is down* it reads. My team runs over to Tbag his ghost. Fools! It was planned! Grenades are tossed left ad right. They couldn't stand a chance. In the time it took my team to respawn, the other Caps C and tries for B. I, still at B, am mowing them down but I am getting outnumbered fast. All my teammates haphazardly throw themselves at the enemy. We are getting slaughtered. I get killed. They take B easily. I try but it doesn't help that my team is jumping off the side like lemmings. Lord Shax is screaming at us to "Control the zones!" and "git gud skrubs". We loose both heavy ammo easily. Lord Shax is just laughing at this point. He is enjoying it too much to call a mercy. BUT WHAT IS THIS?! HOPE! I hear the sound of all supers being used at once. *Smoggypluto has joined Bravo* "Forgive me for I am not wor... WHAT?!?!?" I shout. I'm on Alpha... He arrived in a veil of Nightstalker smoke. A hellfire of Sunbreaker hammers raid down upon us. At this point the game is stopped at 1 second left and they just keep getting points. Every time one of us spawns in we get insta killed by Smoggy's Y10 Gjallarhorn. I realise Lord Shax stopped laughing. I think he choked to death on his popcorn. RIP. There is so much going on. Hammers falling, Gjallarhorns being fired, and at this point I am getting a constant flow of hate mail from Shesmynerd. I think I can hear him crying and I don't have headphones on. The screen goes black. "Thank God it's over", I think. "Oh it's just begining." A deep voice booms. "NO! NO! IT CANT BE! YOU ARE DEA..." We load in. To Vertigo. Zone B. I am dumbfounded. The rest of my team is gone. I stand Next to the other team. They are just as confused as me. Smoggy chuckles. Raises his Gjallahorn at me, "Ogres have layers" "JUST. LIKE. ONIONS." The deep voice cuts him off. Smoggy falls to his knees. His teammates help him back up. His white knuckles clutch their shoulders. He looks like he has seen a ghost. He has. The portal opens. Out comes the three headed beast. I can't look. But I must. Xylar, The Timeless. His 3 heads all focused on Smoggy. He coughs up blood. He looks 50 years older. He gets up. Brushes himself off. "I killed you once. I can do it again." Xylar laughs his mechanical laugh. "This time you don't have Jeff The Cabal to cary you." Smoggy winces, like Xylar hit him right where he wanted. "You and what army?" "This one." And taken goblins marched through the gate. All making one another invincible. Smoggy unloades his Gjallihorn on Xylar. But they bounce off him. "My turn". Xylar opens his mouth and makes a strange robotic click. Smoggy's team dies. Gorgon's gaze. Smoggy looks up. "I. Didn't. Finish. The. Mixtape." And Xylar raised his middle head. Lazers shot out of his eyes and vaporized Smoggy. I stood, befuddled. Xylar shrunk down to the size of a person. The name above him changed. Jeff The Cabal. He tore some Vex eye off his chest. "He wouldn't give me back the 10,000 glimmer I lent him." And he flew away. The game ended. I go to orbit. Error code Bamboo. Another message from Shesmynerd.

Bittersteel. Got it from rank 7 lolololol.

Chatterwhite.