This week at bungie studios, there has been a storm. What kind of storm you ask? A storm that can only be described as 1000 voices screaming in terrifying unison. Our web team has had a diet of coffee and energy drinks while they tried to sort out the mess this weekend. It keeps me up at night wondering what woes have possessed our community. Perhaps our guardians are all too eager voice their support for change. Change is good but you cannot rush it. Like fermenting wine, we sometimes we must learn to allow the goddess of chronology perform her glorious magics.
Yes, I have seen your desire for a certain update. Let me take this time to say that I understand your pain and frustration. However, we are working to bring you exciting new changes. What are those changes you may ask? Well young guardian, life is like a box of chocolates. You never know which one will fill you with joy. Or wait.....was that how the phrase goes? As you can see, I am so excited for the plans the devs have in store from us that cliche adages about the quality of life elude me. Instead I will ironically attempt to be ambiguously vague and hope you all can thank me for it.
In other news, over 1 trillion players have punished Crota without using cheese! this community continues to fascinate and impress me! You, the players are our inspiration and our muse. It is your undying wavering bravery that helps us forge a new path into the light of the dark. Think about it, 1 trillion players, that's more than the entire population of Earth! Perhaps Destiny is being enjoyed by extraterrestrials in the vastness of space......or perhaps superfluous hyperbole continues to be a most uncomfortable bane of attrition.
[b]Iron Banner[/b]
Lord Saladin just doesn't get a break does he? Or maybe he does and he decides to spend his vacations with you guardians. That's right, the iron banner is back by popular demand. New friendships will blossom, others will blossom even more. I have my warlock ready to go and should I encounter you on the battlefield, remember the crucible is no place for mercy. But Saladin will be merciful with plenty of loot and rewards. Should you be lucky enough to participate in this engrossing event, you may find yourself with a big tidy souvenir yourself from Saladin's own stashes. It's time to let those 32s flourish! Show the others how hard you have been working but remember, power is not all you need to be a successful iron banner champion. Teamwork is just as imperative, if not more important than going solo. So grab a friend or 5 and don't miss out on Lord Saladin's goodies! Jib jub bappity flap!
-Dee[url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/84825823/0/0]J[/url]
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I knew this wasn't deej before I even clicked on the thread, simply because bungie devs don't seem to care about the community anymore :(
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7 RepliesI miss the real longface.
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That's an impressive impression
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Edited by Avlucky: 1/26/2015 11:17:12 PMWell, we found the new community manager. This one responded a month earlier than the last one.
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ITT lots of people not seeing the satire tag
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Dammit long face, you almost actually got me, I read this wall of text to see the words #Satire
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3 RepliesI wish there was a #JibJubBappityFlap tag so more posts like this could trend under it
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8 RepliesDeej, I gotta be honest I'm so sick of your little cutesy writing style it's making me sick to read these updates from you. By the way, I use "update" only because that's what YOU call them. If I had a name for them I'd call them "ramblings". Absolutely no useful information (unless you count once again assuring us that you're working SO hard), more boasting about how many people are playing (as if that somehow makes up for Destiny's problems), and more freaking metaphors that would be cute if you were still in high school. Oh, and calling your fan's attempts to give you feedback "superfluous hyperbole" is not a good move. It's the kind of move that inspires me to write a comment like this.
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5 RepliesEdited by Guardian1595: 1/26/2015 11:12:09 PM
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Why long nalgas, why
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2 RepliesDon't joke about that, it's rediculous. He'd have to listen to is first, and that ain't happening.
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Edited by ChaosFross: 1/26/2015 11:11:28 PMOne word before anyone posts anything else: Satire.
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#satire
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does this mean you're going to focus on bugs rather than trying to make sure some minor exploit gets patched that will in turn create more bugs? i'm hoping
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shockingly accurate
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Nice one. Jib jub bappity flap! Love it xD
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19 RepliesEdited by SKELTON: 1/26/2015 9:41:51 PM1 trillion? is that accurate? keep in mind theres only a little over 7 billion people populating our planet, even if 7 billion people had 3 characters thats still only 21 billion times crota could have been beaten. edit: he said [b]without[/b] cheese, that proves its inaccurate af.
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6 RepliesThere is more than 7 trillion people on earth
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Jib jub bappity flap... Yes sir, that pretty much sums it up.
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or more succinctly, deej is usless
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Bump... an update we may get? More like an "update" that we get every single week.
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Don't joke about that, it's rediculous. He'd have to listen to us first, and that ain't happening.
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1 ReplyNice but your grammar needs skill. Deej is a grammar master.
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Sweet! more vault space, no more mats from Legendary Engrams (lets face it thats just not fun), and the factions are gonna start taking Vanguard marks for currency so we aren't forced to play shotsgafushible, I am pumped!!!!!
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The Jib jub bappity flap gets me every time haha.
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