http://i.imgur.com/uosWRpO.jpg I'll just leave you guys with this... May 15 Edit 1: http://i.imgur.com/B6h4d23.jpg Edit 2: http://i.imgur.com/sCUPrOj.jpg Edit 3: http://i.imgur.com/e4CLDNS.png Edit 4: http://i.imgur.com/mVagCEg.jpg Edit 5: http://i.imgur.com/VIxRr7T.jpg Edit 6: http://i.imgur.com/crY3dEs.jpg Edit 7: http://i.imgur.com/BU3rzcr.png May 16 Edit 1: http://i.imgur.com/QVwsm0Z.png Edit 2: http://i.imgur.com/awU5GL2.jpg Edit 3: http://i.imgur.com/AKDpVbj.jpg Edit 4: http://i.imgur.com/M8HJDVL.jpg Edit 5: http://i.imgur.com/Fr4QsmB.png Edit 6: http://i.imgur.com/8ADMrAX.png Edit 7: http://i.imgur.com/DPbnrPW.png Edit 8: http://i.imgur.com/JMFGk73.png May 19 Edit 1: http://i.imgur.com/NfJno66.png Edit 2: http://i.imgur.com/Tb60jUN.png Edit 3: http://i.imgur.com/SXapOHI.png Edit 4: http://i.imgur.com/nRPzL67.png Edit 5: http://i.imgur.com/zGKJwf6.jpg Edit 6: http://i.imgur.com/izdZdgw.jpg Edit 7: http://i.imgur.com/1AFBIPm.png Edit 8: http://i.imgur.com/5ZcxyBw.png July 27 Edit 1: http://i.imgur.com/oZK073X.jpg Edit 2: http://i.imgur.com/GUVQLBp.jpg Edit 3: http://i.imgur.com/O9hgp6O.jpg Edit 4: http://i.imgur.com/q6PhVYX.png Edit 5: http://i.imgur.com/LhKEs4d.jpg Edit 6: http://i.imgur.com/SMxv986.png Edit 7: http://i.imgur.com/N7EM6Qz.png Edit 8: http://i.imgur.com/GiMbeO7.png November 17 Edit 1: http://i.imgur.com/eqKHbJyh.jpg Edit 2: http://i.imgur.com/FRJQZINl.jpg Edit 3: http://i.imgur.com/GeRMSTjl.jpg Edit 4: http://i.imgur.com/LAGseQEl.jpg Edit 5: http://i.imgur.com/knJlZRvl.jpg Edit 6: http://i.imgur.com/g6QGIfrl.jpg Edit 7: http://i.imgur.com/CwKizGxh.jpg Edit 8: http://i.imgur.com/c75pd4Il.jpg Edit 9: http://i.imgur.com/YWTShH1.jpg Taken from [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/121600004/0/0]this thread[/url]

>be me >be almost 5 >never really had parents >went around the system for a while >finally get picked up by some couple >white, middle class, so thankful >names were Paul and Jenette >pretty lucky since most people go for the younger ones >bring me to their house, get to stay in the basement >get unpacked, house is huge > was awesome, finally had a home >feelsgoodman.jpg >weird at first but light up after seeing how many video games those two had >gamer mecca I swear >find out they all belong to their son >is neckbeard, fag, lives with his parents >quickly approaching late 20's >turns out to be pretty cool though >hooks me up with all his different games >sega genesis, snes, the works >turns out P and J are always away though >end up spending most of my days being watched by neckbeard playing video games >fast forward ten years >neckbeard chooses to stop being huge betafag that lives with his parents >finally gets own place in city >moves out >takes Xbox >c’mon man >after all these years? >we were so connected >comes back for the rest of his stuff >everyone's down in the basement >P admits I'd be better off with neckbeard >says he would love to take me, I'm touched >but says he got a crappy apartment >real small >sadly, no way there was enough room for me >I was old enough though, I'd be on my way out anyways sooner or later >still, neckbeard basically just left me in the dark after that >never knew exactly where he lived >never even heard from him anymore >fast forward 5 years >am almost 21 >still in P and J's basement >started working again last year >still no sign of neckbeard though >one day J's niece calls her up >bf kicked her out >parents live on other side of country >needs a place to stay for a few days oh yeah.. >she has watched me a couple times >28 >solid 7.9/10 >c cup jugaloos >she’s still having trouble after a while >turns "a few days" into a few weeks >eventually seems kind of interested in me >asks P if I work or anything >says yeah, been working on and off last few years >she’s interested in me >lot of her ex bf's were losers, never could hold a job mytimetoshine.jpg >she comes downstairs one day >am not wearing any clothes cause that's how I do >starts checking me out >says how big I am compared to all the others she's had She be J's niece and all, but damn she really turned me on after saying that >everything's a little fuzzy after that >next thing I though know she's banging me super hard >was raining out >she was soaking wet from being outside >was summer though so things couldn't have been hotter >basically let her do what she wants to me >she starts getting frustrated though >try to show her some good stuff but she ain't satisfied >turns out she is crazy >throws a remote right at me >shatters my screen >mfw I am TV

>A girl I knew in class was a total attention whore. >Never arrived to class on time amd always made sure to make a huge fuss about it. >Didn't talk to her all that much, but I had a few conversations with her. >Her wrists had cuts and burns all over them. She wore t-shirts so she never hid them. >I asked her why she would hurt herself like that. >She said "No one lives me and my life is painful" etc., etc. >"No one loves you? What about your parents or your boyfriend?" >Answer she gave me was something like "They actually don't love me," or some shit like that. >Made a point to not interact with her too much after that, because she's too much of an attention whore. >End of the school year, she came up to me and asked if I wanted to go somewhere with her that Sunday. >I'm not good with these situations, so I couldn't say no, even though I didn't like her. >Sunday came, and we went to one of those tower car parks. >Just as we got to the top, she told me that she wanted me to be here as a witness for her suicide. >"Oh shit," I thought. She was going to jump and was forcing me to watch! >Had I known that she was going to do this, I wouldn't have gone with her. >"Not watching unless you do a flip." I said that to try and shock her into realizing this was stupid. >Complete shock was written all over her face. She thought I'd try and stop her. >"E-eh? You're not going to stop me?" >"No, go on ahead. If you really wanted to live, you'd stop yourself." >After a while, she got off the ledge. She walked up to me afterwards and tried to hug me with tears in her eyes, but I told her I loved someone else. She asked me who, and I told her to read the first letter of every line.

> Be Me > At Subway near campus > Walk in > Girl at counter > On phone > Glares at me > Figure i should Order > "Hey can i have a 6 inch blt on- > SHUTUP CANT YOU SEE IM ON HOLD > Wait another 10 minutes >Finally Hangs up, she didn't even say anything to the person on phne since i got there >Im pissed >Did i mention im a former subway employee, moved to Panera > Ask for 12 inch double meatball sub on honey wheat > That bread tears super easy > Make her microwave that shit for 3 minutes > Stuff it with condiments, toppings, whatever > Make her double everything > Make her add every individual sauce and oil till i say stop >Wait for her to stop on her own > Make her double that > Tell her thats it > Tries to close the bread > Holds it literally over herself, as if trying to use gravity to help > Wait for it > Wait for it > Suddenly the sandwich just splits and spills all over her > 200 dollar shoes, 200 dollar jeans, 200 dollar shirt > She starts sobbing > Lean on counter and say > "I've changed my mind, i would like a 6 inch BLT on italian > Win > True Story > Panera is good job Edit, i would like to mention i dont like italian bread, but during this i was also thinking of the guy who posted a very similar greentext, in which he asked for blt on italian, at first, i had actually wanted it on 9-grain wheat

>be me >girlfriend is prego >we like to get kinky anyways >one night things get particularly saucy >sticking my noodle in her when i notice something coming out >wtf there's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period >i look up at her and there's a jarred glassy look on her face >not responding >ohshit.jpg >i rush full speed in my car with her to the hospital >get to hospital and she's not bleeding much anymore, but no color in her face >oshit looks like she's in a vegetative state >Storm into the E.R and run to the nearest doctor and explain everything >takes one look at her and says, "i can't do anything" >"WHY THE HELL NOT?!" >"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce" >mfw

Gay Shooting Range http://imgur.com/nJIpJ2L

>be me >be living in small rural town >a few rich people too >one of them is my neighbor >he's a doctor who also owns small hotel called the Spanish Inn >life is good >fast forward to last year >inn burns down >doctor his wife file for insurance >insurance inspectors show up >find evidence for arson >doctor and wife deny it >taken to court >not much evidence and everyone thinks he is innocent >week 3 of case >prosecution pulls out all the stops >wife breaks down in court >tells everyone it was insurance fraud from the doctor because the inn was failing >everyone trusted him because he was a doctor >whole town in shock >that's when it hits me >nobody expects the Spanish Inn physician

I have a lot of greentexts saved from 4chan, I'll dump all I can

>be me >walking down street see qt3.14 next to a shop >she must he homeless because she has raggedy clothes and is asleep on the street >I gently pick her up and take her home >I made some food and drink for her >she isnt eating or drinking >we are sitting on couch talking >one thing leads to another and we arw getting frisky >feelsgoodman.jpg >best sex ive had >bust a load >at one point i was -blam!-ing her so hard it was like she was still alive

>be me >driving on backroads >feelsgoodman.jpg >see creepy abandoned house >lolnope >speed up to get past creepy house >is passing house >looks at house >wtf?! >does double take >sees a [i]toilet[/i] [spoiler]>[i]in the motherf[b]u[/b]cking tree[/i][/spoiler]

Eat Fresh http://imgur.com/n5CPNz3