...beep bee bee bee beep bee bee beep beep beep... Breaking News! This just in guardians: Bungie has just announced that they are giving in to the quitters demands As reported before, quitters were threating to quit if they were no longer allowed to quit, and it seems to have worked. Bungie, in a desperate attempt to keep quitters from abandoning their game, has decided to cave to the quitters demands and relax the quit penalties for quitters who quit. We now go live to Chuleevn-4 in the cosmodrome, Chuleevn-4, What's the seen down there? •Thank you Ammadaheer, •I am standing in the Cosmodrome where the protesting quitters just received news that Shaxx has caved to their demands. The mood is one of celebration. Quitters across the Sol system are returning to the game they love, now that they no longer have to play. -Amazing, Chuleevn-4, quitters are actually returning to the game? •That's right Amadaheer, now that quit penalties are relaxed, players are no longer feeling the pressure to complete what they start. -Fascinating, what do quitters have to say? •Here's one now, Amadaheer, •Excuse me! Excuse me! You right there, yes you. Tower News 4, could we have a word? *uh, yeah, sure •Could you explain to the viewers at home how you're feeling tonight after you heard Shaxx's new revisions to the quit penalties? *This is great! It was like totally unfair before, forcing us to play if we played. I mean, I quit because I had to play or else I couldn't play, now that I can quit I'm returning to the game I love playing. I'm going to be playing a lot more. •Now, that you can quit?... *Yeah •And you quit because you couldn't play *yeah, they wouldn't let me play if I quit •But doe >>You know what? I can't do this Stop, just stop This is Scratch, the author of the post. I started writing this because "News Flash!" was such a big hit in the past. People seemed to like it so I was going to do another one. >>When I came up with the idea, I thought we could have a little fun. I got the idea Chuleevn would interview quitters, they'd say something ridiculous like, I did quit but now I'm returning because I don't have to play, then cut back to Amadaheer he'd say something funny, then cut back to Chuleevn-4... but she quit. Ha ha the irony, funny right? >>And then make some jokes of Amadaheer feeling awkward because Chuleevn quit. Then not knowing what to do he starts reading the teleprompter... but there's no words because the teleprompter guy quit. >>>And then maybe the studio lights go out, then the camera guys quit blah blah blah. End with another Eververse commercial. >>But that would have taken a lot of time. I was up for it when I started the post but realized... I'm not really having fun. I mean, why should I complete something I started if I'm not having fun. >>Sure it woulda been great, there's plenty of jokes to be made, and we both coulda had fun like we did last time. >>But I realized something, why bother finishing something you start? >>I don't know, I guess the one most important thing I wish people would understand, the single most important key to a happy life would be to . . . . EDIT: Original post for those who missed it https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/261783926?sort=0&page=0