YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT MAGGOT!?!?! THE TRUTH IS THAT YOU LOST AN EXPENSIVE PIECE OF ARMY ISSUE EQUIPMENT! THAT SUIT IS GONNA COME OUT OF YOUR PAY AND YOU WILL REMAIN IN THIS MAN'S ARMY UNTIL YOU ARE FIVE-HUNDRED AND TEN YEARS OLD, WHICH IS THE NUMBER OF YEARS IT WILL TAKE FOR YOU TO PAY FOR THE MARK II POWERED COMBAT ARMOR YOU HAVE LOST! REPORT TO ARMORY AND HAVE A NEW SUIT ISSUED TO YOU, THEN REPORT BACK TO ME PRIVATE. DISMISSED!!!!!!!!

Why stay in America though? Where I am, there'll be no Deathclaws, Yao Guais, Cazadors, or Supermutants.

War. War never changes. In the year 1945, my great great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he'd get to go home to his wife and the son he'd never seen. He got his wish when the US ended World War II by dropping atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The World awaited Armageddon, instead something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy not as a weapon, but as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxuries once though the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. But then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American Dream... Years of consumption lead to shortages of nearly every major resource. The entire world unraveled... Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2017. We stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid for myself, my wife, for my infant son.. Because if my time in the army taught me one thing: it's that war, war never changes.

*Grabs Furious rolling pin* I'm ready for war.