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3/8/2014 2:48:38 PM
43
Tell a joke
I go first:
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"'Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads!"
English
#Offtopic
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6 RepliesEdited by Recon Number 54: 3/8/2014 11:44:06 PMThree dogs are with their owners at the vet. A Chihuahua, a French Poodle, and a Great Dane. The poodle asks the Chihuahua," What are you in here for?" The Chihuahua says," Well usually I’m a good dog...but I have a huge problem with my mail man. I don’t know why, I just always have to bite him, and I gave him a serious injury. So... they’re going to put me to sleep today. What are you here for?" he asks the poodle. The poodle says, "Well usually I'm a pretty good dog, but my owners son always sticks his finger in my food while I'm eating. And when he does that...I just got to bite him I don’t know why. And I really hurt him. So they're going to put me to sleep today." The two dogs look at the Great Dane, and the Great Dane is like 20 times bigger than them. And they ask," So, what about you?! What are you in here for?" And the Great Dane says," Awwww, you guys wouldn't believe me if I told you." And they said, "C'mon, we're both about to die, you've got to tell us" So the Great Dane says, "Well usually I'm a pretty good dog, and you see I have the greatest owner in the world. She’s a beautiful woman and my best friend. We hang out, we go on walks, we play and wrestle, it's all been going great. Except yesterday after she got out of the tub, she bent over and was scrubbing the tub. When she did, I totally lost all self-control. I don't need an engraved invitation, if a female is going to wave it in my face, I know what to do. So I mounted her and showed her what a good boy I really am!" The two other dogs are stunned and don't know what to do. Eventually they ask, "So she's brought you here to put you to sleep too huh?” The Dane replies, "Aww no. She brought me here to get my nails trimmed."
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1 Reply
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2 RepliesMy friend told me I don't understand irony, which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time.
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What goes up must come down [spoiler]Except America's debt[/spoiler]
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2 RepliesMan goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
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5 RepliesTitanfall looks good.
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1 ReplyAn Irish man walks out of a bar.
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1 ReplyFor once in my life I see Pure love staring right back Right back at me At me I played you a sweet song and you sang, You sang along. In your heart, your eyes and soul, Soul. You are my angel. You are my diamond. You are my guiding light, Yeah. I've seen the future. I've been to the bottom, But you keep my head above, Above. You are my Jesus, You are my savior, You are all that is love, Yeah. You're all that is love You're all that is love You're all that is love You are my diamond. You are my angel. You are my guiding light, Yeah. You're my guiding light
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An Irishman walks out of a bar and the bartender says 'What the feck...' [spoiler]Adapted from Lukanatr's picture earlier <.<[/spoiler] An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar and the bartender says 'We'll have no funny business here tonight.' What goes 'Clip Clop, Clip Clop, Clip Clop, BANG, Clip Clop, Clip Clop, Clip Clop? [spoiler]An Amish driveby.[/spoiler]
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Okay, I just said it real loud. Did you hear?
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1 ReplyPosting on Bungie.net in 2014.
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1 ReplyWhy did the chick cross the road? [spoiler]To get to your house.[/spoiler] Knock, knock (Who's there?) [spoiler]The chicken.[/spoiler]
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3 RepliesRepublicans
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women's rights.
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I dont know any, and google isnt an option.
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Women's rights.
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I met a sensible female
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Camnator.
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American politics.
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Two blue whales walk into a bar. The first whale walks up to the bartender. "What can I get you, friend?" asks the bartender. "Oooooooohoo We eee waaaaaajhhhhhh" says the whale. Confused, the bartender repeats his question. Again, the whale replies "Oooooooohoo We eee waaaaaajhhhhhh!" Noticing his friend is having trouble, the second whale approaches the bar. "Damn it, Frank. You're drunk."
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Ur life. Jk u have good jokes
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OP makes good threads [spoiler]I love you and your threads Charlie. Don't hurt me [/spoiler]
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2 RepliesMyNameIsCharlie
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A man walks into a bar. [spoiler]ouch![/spoiler]
