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2/21/2017 9:16:00 AM
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Post stories from your parents life.
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5 RepliesEdited by FoodMonger52: 2/26/2017 5:48:56 AMSo this one time, my dad was out with 3 of his buddies on the edge of town. They heard something pretty crazy had happened down by the old railway. When they got to the railroad, what they saw changed their lives forever. It was the first time any of them ever saw a dead body.
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1 ReplyOne time when my dad was in college, he was on a geology field trip, when he and his friends came across a bull carcass. They were bored, so they went up on a hill and my dad put the carcass over his body and he started jumping around and the professor flipped shit lol.
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1 ReplyEdited by CheshireGrin92: 2/21/2017 12:33:02 PMOne day, when my mom and uncle where fighting as most siblings do. My uncle slams his hand down in frustration and accidentally gets one of my grandmothers sewing needles right through his hand. Another time my mom dared him to sit on a fire ant hill and he did. Another time my uncle super glued my moms hands to the bathroom sink. My mom also accidentally burned down the garage as a teenager. Then when she was about 19 my mom told my grandfather she was pregnant with me. He had a mild heart attack the same day for 20 years she thought her telling him had caused it and he didn't tell her otherwise until then (mostly cause he didn't know she thought that.). My grandfathers brother in law took him down to the national guard recruiting office when he turned 18 and he didn't catch on that he had joined until halfway through the process his. His brothers (he is is the second youngest of 5) gave him shot for not joining the Air Force. So basically everyone in my family are trolls.
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1 ReplyI've got a cute one about how my great-grandparents first met. It was the 1920's in Brooklyn, NY. My great-grandfather was around 12 years old and he went to see a movie with his mother. She ended up having a heart attack and died in the theater. His father blamed him for her death and kicked him out. He ended up living on the streets but eventually was able to get a job carrying the luggage of people getting off of boats at the docks. One day he ended up carrying luggage for a German family that had a 12 year old daughter. From the first time he saw her on the docks, she was the only one for him.
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4 RepliesI was almost president. [spoiler]twice.[/spoiler]
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Edited by BlackMormon: 2/24/2017 8:23:04 AMCool story just heard..... While on approach to land in pitch black in Florida. My dad was flying a Beaver behind a jet liner carrying a 1 star admiral. Suddenly both planes are directed to circle around. An F4 Phantom had declared low fuel and wanted priority. The Phanton lands, the other planes land as well. The first thing the admiral wanted was a fuel check on the Phantom. Oooops. Not low fuel after all. Unknown what happened to the captain in the F4 but safe to say it's not good to piss off an admiral.
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8 RepliesEdited by booris: 2/22/2017 1:04:26 PMDon't have many parents' stories so When I was edgy back in primary school, me and one of my friends wanted to go on Britain's got Talent and sing "Let the bodies hit the floor" which is a classic YouTube tutorial song. [spoiler]Unfortunately or rather fortunately we didn't actually do it.[/spoiler]
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My dad grew up on military bases. He was born in Virginia but he ended up living in a wide variety of military bases until he parents settled down in Florida. One thing he and his brothers would do is take their bikes (or just walk) down to the training grounds and take whatever the soldiers left behind. This included spent blanks, hollow grenades, ammo boxes, and at one point a bayonet. That all being said, the one story I heard the most was the time he found a machine gun. Yeah, a full-fledged machine gun. Had a tripod and everything. Some Sergeant left the private to finish loading this truck with the machine guns they used that day, and this private forgot an entire machine gun and just drove off. My dad and a few of his friends saw this, and as soon as the coast was clear they folded up the machine gun and starting walking it back to the in-base neighborhood. If it wasn't for some housewife noticing them and calling for the MP's, they would have probably set the gun up in one of their driveways. Instead they had to drop in in the street and run in whatever directions they wouldn't get caught in.
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8 RepliesThose noises you heard the other night... Me and your mom. True story.
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Parents: They were in a train derailing accident when I was less than a year old. Two people died in it. [spoiler]The two guys running the train.[/spoiler] Me: I was born with my heart on the right side of my chest and turned 180 degrees. Doesn't effect my health tho. Not yet anyway, it might later on.
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It was year 2. I was still being developed. My dad was off in the crucible. Thats when my mom got nerfed to bits. Her poison, range, now she was nothing more than a nerf gun. Good thing I got the good genes.
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My mother and father "lost" my unborn sister in a miscarriage. Seeing how they treated me and another unborn sibling, I question their so called "love" for me. Abusive -blam!-s...
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My mom and her family was very broke. She told me how she had to walk miles to school barefooted and the school had one classroom for all grades. My mom died age 72 back in 2014 so it says how old she was. Her family was still using horse and carriage while people in other places were using cars then. Apparently her father who didn't stick around much had sexually molested her sister and she ended up getting pregnant by her dad. My aunt never told any of her kids about it. Think my mom said she put the baby up for adoption. That same grandfather supposedly went to alcatraz for bank robbery and killing 10 or more people. Was later send to San Quinton. How much any of that is true I don't know but it's not something I'd expect her to lie about.
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1 Replyit's a very vague story because not even my parents told me what exactly happened and i was about 4, but i think i got kidnapped. wish i could know the exact details of that night
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Edited by BlackMormon: 2/23/2017 2:21:14 AMWhile my dad was in OCS a private started playing on a piano during cleanup. The instructor or whatever asked "what do you think you are a concert pianist?" the private replied "YES SIR I AM."
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1 ReplyWhen my dad was in college, he used to take ice cream cones from the cafeteria, go up to his dorm room window (it was the 8th floor) and put a lot fire cracker in it. Then, he'd drop the lit ice cream cone so that it would explode on top of people's heads when they were walking down the sidewalk.
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My mom and dad have all sorts of crazy shit stories, to summarize my mom went on a high school ski trip and and she broke her back, wrapped around a tree like a -blam!-ing decoration right? Yeah, it was a really hard time for everyone..and as she lay in bed, her -blam!-ing big toe, wiggled [spoiler][b]wiggle your big toe[/b][/spoiler] She got put on therapy almost the same day, and surgery the next to see what's really happening, and it was broken in such a way where it could receive simple commands, but fail to execute more precise and vigorous movement, she must have been hospitalized for 14 months she said, and to this day, she can walk like the rest of us. My dads first born was unfortunately killed by a train, he still blames himself to this day, it's pretty sad to think about.
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Don't talk to my parents much. I've done dumb stuff though. Nothing really crazy but I guess. ....... [spoiler]it was when I was in high school. I was smoking with a group of friends. We were going to run out. We had enough for two days so we all decided to go to Los Angeles for a literal trash bag of the best weed California had to offer. We skipped school and drove there. Took two hours and we smoked everything. A bunch of tacos later we made it. We got our weed (shady asf, people openly showing their guns) After that I remember looking at trees and being afraid of how the cows were looking at us. I managed to convince one of them that cows were out to eat us. Then I remember wanting to kill myself by an overdose of weed and taco bell. Honestly a lot of it was kinda a blur. We did lots of other drugs too. I remember making it back home after two days though. We smoked the last of it and I went home and played some ps3. Overall a normal and boring thing but I thought id share my two day weed road trip lol[/spoiler]
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3 RepliesMy parents never told me stories. But my third cousin was unlucky in a game of Russian Roulette.
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May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? I repeat will the real Slim Shady please stand up? We're going to have a problem here Y'all act like you never seen a white person before Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door Started whoopin' her ass worse than before, they first get divorced Throwing her over furniture It's the return of the "Oh wait, no way, your kidding, He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?" And Dr Dre said Nothing you idiots Dr Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (ha ha) Feminist women love Eminem, chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of him Look at him, walking around grabbing his you know what Flippin' the you know who "yeah, but he's so cute though" Yea I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose But no worse than what's going on in your parent's bedrooms Sometimes I want to get on TV and just let loose, but can't, But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss And that's the message that we deliver to little kids And expect them not to know what a women's clitoris is. Of course they gonna know what intercourse is, by the time they hit 4th grade, They got the discovery channel don't they? We ain't nothing but mammals, Well some of us cannibals, who cut other people open like cantaloupes. But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote. Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records Well I do, so -blam!- him and -blam!- you too. You think I give a damn about a Grammy? Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me. "But Slim what if you win wouldn't it be weird?" Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here? So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears. Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first. Little bitch put me on blast on M-T-V "Yeah he's cute but I think he's married to Kim, he he" I should download her audio on mp3 And show the whole world how you gave Eminem V.D. I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me So I've been sent here to destroy you And there's a million of us just like me Who cuss like me, who just don't give a -blam!- like me, who dress like me Walk, talk and act like me, it just might be the next best thing, But not quite me 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up I'm like a head trip to listen to 'Cause I'm only giving you, things you joke about with your friends Inside your living room The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all And I don't gotta be false or sugar coat it at all I just get on the mic and spit it, and whether you like to admit it (rip) I just shit it better than 90 percent of you rappers out there Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums, it's funny 'Cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting. Pinching nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with Jergens And I'm jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin' he could be workin' at Burger King Spitten on your onion rings Or in the parking lot circling, Screaming I don't give a -blam!- with his windows down and system up So will the real Shady, please stand up And put one of those fingers on each hand up And to be proud to be outta your mind and outta control And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go? I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up Haha, I guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us, -blam!- it, Let's all stand up
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Life is like a cabbage: Sometimes it is green and crunchy, sometimes dad stabs the cat with a knife because his foot ball team lose again Life is like a cabbage: sometimes it is green and round, and sometimes mom wish you were never born If you throw a cabbage in the air he will alway come right back down to you because he is lonely without you. If there is a fire in your house make sure you save all the cabbages before you even think about finding your children A cabbage does not wear a watch but he always have time for you Instead of drinking coffee in the morning try laying down with a cabbage on your stomach and you will be wide awake trust me If you push a cabbage under water he will alway float right back up to the top because he miss you so much A cabbage does not have ears but that does not mean that he is immune to your lies Some time you think about a cabbage and you get so excited that forget to go to sleep again for five days Sometimes you hate your life and dont want to be alive anymore but then you think about cabbage and know that everything will be ok You can paint a cabbage green but that is a waste of paint because he is already green you idiot If you run out of pillows maybe try using a cabbage You can tell a cabbage has gone bad if he is wearing a leather jacket if you are sad put a cabbage in your back pack and carry him every where so it feel like you have a friend that want to spend time with you A cabbage is so pretty but you are real ugly You can ask a cabbage for financial advice but he will not say any thing because he is a cabbage You can put a cabbage on the hood of your car. People will not under stand what you are doing but at least you are doing some thing If you put plastic eyeballs on a cabbage and take him to the movies it might feel like you have a friend I hate my life Dr. Suess did not ever make a poem about cababge And now he is dead You can put a cabbage in a baby carriage amd take him for a walk and people will say "who this" and you can say "he is my cabbaby" If you want to trick your parents put a cabbage on your pillow at night and they will think you are sleeping but you are eating cabbage.
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1 ReplyStory of my life... I make stupid decisions all the time
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2 RepliesMy dad shot a home intruder in Okinawa when he was around 10. The man died.
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11 RepliesMy parents never told me any story or at least not that I remember and when I'm around, they never do anything that's worth telling. So I guess I could tell one of mine (._. ): [spoiler]A few years back I was at boarding school and one night & two friends wanted to sneak out at night. (Had done it multiple times before so we knew it was "safe") So when the "guards" went to every room to say goodnight & all that, all 3 of us gathered together in one of our rooms that was at ground floor. We sneaked out and ran for a good 5 minutes. One of my friends decided we go buy some alcohol and go swing on a playground an hour away from our boarding school. We stayed there for pretty much the entirety of the night. Now on our way back a car stopped and two cops stepped out (-_- ) they asked us what we were doing alone on the street so late at night or so early in the morning. One my friends said we came from a birthday party and we were on our way to my house. The cops nodded and asked for our names and address. Now, one of the cops was a pretty damn good looking guy so me being me, I got very distracted and didn't notice my friends giving made up names and addresses. When the other cop asked for my information, dumb me gave him the real info. When they left, my friends gave me the "I swear I'm gonna kill you if we get in trouble now" look (._. ) told them it would be okay.. Nothing was gonna happen, they didn't suspect anything anyway. So we walked all the way back to the place... But my friend couldn't get her window open anymore. The other friend said her window was open and we could climb up the pipeline to reach it (first floor). So both of them climbed up first and told me to go next now. Told them I couldn't because I was terrified of heights. The one of the other room told me to wait and she would go to her room and open the window... But apparently the "guards" had closed the hallway door that separated all the floors so... Fk me. My friends being as smart as they are, figured they could try the movie thing... Tie sheets together and throw it out the window. Which they did but I was so small, I couldn't even reach it if I jumped. At this point it started to rain heavily and it was freezing so desperation started to set in for me. My only other option was to go all the way around the building and ring the front door. But in the guarding I saw a ladder so YAY ME \(^-^\) ran all the way there and pick up that thing but... I'm literally the most clumsy shit on earth and tripped with that thing and it hit the window of one of the "guards" rooms (._. ) at the time there was a lot of stuff going on in the neighborhood we they immediately called the police.. My friends told me to hurry the hell up. Try and get in before cops would be there. So had to pick all my courage together and climb that pipeline.. I got in just in time... Whoo hoo \(^-^\) but... It just would have to be my luck. The cops from earlier that night were the cops that came. Told my friends not to worry... That it was just coincidence. About 10 minutes later the door of my friends room opens up and there is the "guard" with the police (-_- ) let's just say we were in serious trouble. The cops remembered we had done something very similar before where we had been stopped by the cops too. So this time they actually went to my house and woke up my parents and asked them if what we told them was true or not and yeah.. For an entire week the guards dropped us off at school personally, no free time outside and all three of us had to move rooms on seconds floor away from pipelines and such (-_- )[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyBump to keep post Alive
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