I was with my ex for 3 years. We broke up, a few months later I started dating another guy. Nothing serious. Then ex reappears in my life. We had broken up because he was wrestling with a lot of abandonment and trust issues, which caused him to pull away from me a lot. He and I talked for a few weeks and he promised me that he would start going to therapy. A few weeks later, I broke up with new guy and got back with ex. We were together for about two months and everything was perfect. We still had little problems here and there, but we could resolve them in ways we weren't able to before. Life was so good that we decided that when I graduated college the next year, we were going to get married. Then he stopped going to therapy. And lied to me about it. But I could tell because he was withdrawing again. Going back to the "other guy". I confronted him about it, and it turned into a huge fight. We "made up" but everything was different. We kept fighting, I kept telling him to go back to therapy, he kept saying that I was just mean to him. We only lasted one more month, then he broke up with me. Periodically throughout the year we would contact each other. Sometimes with funny pictures or videos, sometimes to play xbox live together and we would even have really great conversations about the world and feelings. You know, deeper shit. And even though we never really had sex after we broke up, we would still do a little phone sexing every now and then. I wasn't over him. Every now and then I'd tell him. He'd say we broke up for a reason, and getting back together would be a bad idea. He'd say that I never thought about his feelings when I would tell him things like that. That confused me. Was he saying that he also still had feelings for me?Sometimes we'd argue about it, and not speak for a few weeks. But every time, he'd come back to me. I started dating a new guy in June and the ex and I still remained friends. Still would send the funny messages, still would have deep conversations, but no more phone sexing (obviously. I'm not a cheater). The last good conversation was in September. He apologized for being a dick to me. Then he started ignoring me. Or worse he would get angry with me if I sent him one of those funny pictures while he was at work. It really hurt. I had a really tough week, so I turned to him for advise. I really opened up to him. I told him that I was having big issues with my friends, and my job and grad school. And he ignored me, then would say something like I dunno. I'd ask him why he was ignoring me and he'd say that we're not dating and he didn't need to respond to my messages right away. I wasn't asking for a response right away. I was asking for any type of response. He didn't wish me a happy birthday. And it seemed as though everything I told him would piss him off. Now he's dating a new girl. And I can't stand it. I see the posts on Facebook that they went dancing. When we were together, he never danced. I mean ever. I used to be a dancer, so sometimes in our apartment I would just take his hand and do pirrouettes aroubd him. And even that would embarrass him. So yeah, I'm a little jealous. I've been upfront with the guy that I'm currently seeing about these feelings that I'm having. I finally told the ex how I felt. I sent him a message. To paraphrase: I told him I was a little jealous, because I still have a certain amount of feelings towards him and picturing him with another woman is a little painful. I told him that if any of those feelings were reciprocated, I'd break up with the guy I'm with now, for him. I told that he had made it clear to me that he had no feelings for me, and although that's impossibly hard for me to accept, I'm trying. Next part is an exact quote: "I hate being a burden to you. I know that you're a burden to me, but I am willing to carry it, because with that burden comes all the wonderful things. it's like all the stuff you carry in fallout. You have to carry all this stuff, but that stuff helps you kill bad guys and build awesome stuff. We are different people and we see the world in very different ways. Neither is wrong, and neither is right. We're just trying to find the best way to make it through life, and that's all just trial and error. This is me trying to figure out my life." His response was awful. He accused me of trying to sabotage his relationship. He said I blew it with him, and now I'm trying to ruin his relationship. He said he doesn't care about me at all anymore. He doesn't care if my life sucks, if I'm unhappy or anything. He told me that people don't like me because I don't care about their feelings enough to put them before my own. And that I can take that piece of advice to heart, but I'd worn him down too many times now to ever have a chance to be his friend ever again. Then he blocked me. He hates me and I'm heartbroken. I know that's a lot to read. And I know I prolly sound like I didn't do anything wrong, which isn't true. I definitely was a bitch to him sometimes, just because. I'd push things too far, I'd bring up topics in public just because I knew they'd embarrass him. I'm not trying to say through any of this that I'm perfect. I'm not perfect. But I was always willing to work with him, always willing to apologize when I was wrong. So the easy response is to say get over him and move on. But I really have tried. I don't know how to explain it. I've been in other serious relationships in the past, but this is different. I've been heartbroken in the past, but this is different. I don't know what to do. I just don't want to lose him.