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Edited by BenjyX55: 7/20/2015 4:30:24 PM
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Atheists are assholes, witnessed firsthand.

Let me start by saying that I recently joined a new religion. I won't say which one because I don't want to start a flame war. Helping me learn about this new religion was an old friend of my father's. He was traveling, and I was accompanying him so that I could study with him. Unfortunately, we didn't have any transportation of our own, so we had to get a ride from a stranger. He seemed ok at first, maybe a little egotistical. But when the old man and I began discussing our religion, that's when he showed his true colors. He said he didn't believe in those old legends, that in his experience there was no such thing as what we were talking about. I asked him what he believed, and he said that he chalked everything up to luck. My father's friend kept his cool better than I did. I could tell that this guy thought I was a moron. I wished I could have just left, but the odds of us finding another ride were pretty much nonexistent. I was forced to sit back and watch this guy's hairy friend lose sorely to one of my uncle's servants at chess. It was going to be a long flight to Alderaan.

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  • Bump for truth

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  • Finally, the evil reign of the evolutionary theory has come to its END. All over the world, previouslyatheist scientists are admitting that the 6-day recent Creation is the only theory thatexplains the current lifeforms as Created Kinds.predicts the imminent End of Times and the New Jerusalem.And the Creature that changed history and made all these repulsive biologists repent is the lowly serpent of the Created Serpent Kind. Based on new data about snake biology, the most prestigious forum for rigorous, peer-reviewed science ever, "Popular Science", now admits that evolution lacks explanatory power! Quote: EVOLUTION DIDN'T ROB SNAKES OF THEIR LIMBS This illuminating article is based on a new study that was originally written for the science magazine "Nature". Briefly, the genes involved in other Created Kinds inhind limbs and hands take care of totally different things in snakes, they direct the development of the snake tallywhacker (the technical name for this organ is the "penis"). Quote: Researchers examined snake genomes, and found that snakes retain a recognizably similar limb-building elements present in mammals. This raised the question of what they were doing in limbless creatures. .. The transgenic mice were used to test the ability of the mouse, lizard, and snake enhancers to drive expression of a reporter gene in hindlimbs and/or genitalia. What they showed is that the mouse enhancer has activity in both locations, but the snake enhancer has only retained the ability to control genital expression of Tbx4. Now, this is highly technical but bear with me. This means that the genes that the original snakes immediately after Creation would have used to grow hands and feet are now used to grow tallywhackers. Let us combine these findings and the pending question that the writers of "Popular Science" were afraid to answer in plain American: Quote: EVOLUTION DIDN'T ROB SNAKES OF THEIR LIMBS If evolution did not do it, who did?! We know.  GOD DID IT! As the evolutionary theory cannot answer this question, only one answer is possible: God. God did it! AND Creation Science has the proof. It is in the Bible!    Genesis 3:13-14 And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat. And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:  In this snake embryo we can see these genes in the area of the future tallywhacker. We have seen this before. The snake has become the most pivotal animal when it comes to the Creation vs. Evolution debate! Verily, some scholars found the remains of the original snakeWITH FOUR LEGS from Brazil only recently!  Here is the original snake from Eden! Now we can reconstruct the sequence of eventsnot only historically but also genetically.God Created the World (Genesis 1:1).He Created all animals including the four-legged serpent (Genesis 1:24; Genesis 2:19).The serpent - originally with four legs and the capacity to talk - seduced the woman (Genesis 3:1-2).As a punishment of these hideous crimes, God DID ROB SNAKES OF THEIR LIMBS (Genesis 3:14).God recycled the limb genes of the snake to produce tallywhackers. This is fitting, as the Creature was now stained with sin (Romans 8:22) and some more sin in the form of fornication would not have affected it much.Due to genetic entropy, the snake gradually lost also its ability to speak, etc., but it still has TWO tallywhackers as a reminder of its former glory as a limbed Creature.  Quote: The research reveals that, in reptiles, the penis grows from the tissues that will become hind legs (or in snakes, used to become legs), so two penises form. But in mammals and birds the penis comes from tissue that will eventually become a tail, so only one penis forms. God is ingenious. The ammunition that is the Mighty Bible hits its target every time. Nowmillions of atheists are finally seeing the light that is the Truth™ that is JESUS! John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. Jesus is the Way. By reading the Bible the mystery of snake limbs and tallywhackers has been unraveled.Jesus is the Truth™. Only Creation can explain these genetic abnormalities. This is the Creation Sensation. Evolutionary theory has collapsed.Jesus is the Life. The intricacies of Life including the inexplicable genome find their solutions in Jesus. Jesus has crushed the reign of the evolutionary serpent as His Father crushed the snake genome millennia ago. After these revelations, our world is a safer, better and much less biased place for Christian Life. Regardless, I'm waiting for theRapture any day now.

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    • Old post is old

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      • I'm afraid the thread will be fully operational when your friends arrive.

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        • Kek

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        • I swear i'm missing the reference..

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          • Edited by Zlayer: 10/18/2015 2:58:00 PM
            It wasn't chess...

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          • That wasn't chess bitchtits. That was Dejarik.

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          • Say what you like about him. It doesn't change the fact that he shot first.

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            • LMAO

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            • I am pleased by this.

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            • Bumping this for truth

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            • Bump

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            • Edited by Ceriin: 9/12/2015 9:19:15 PM
              People who generalize are assholes, witnessed firsthand. [spoiler]Also, who the f[i]u[/i]ck necroed this?[/spoiler]

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              • Edited by Gorillapants: 9/13/2015 3:15:19 AM
                Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyylmao

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              • lmao [spoiler]star wars for those who dont get it[/spoiler]

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              • I love seeing people react without getting the reference it's hilarious

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              • Edited by Parad0x: 9/13/2015 1:41:01 AM
                Stir water enter foreskin?

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              • Guess by your logic, all atheist are assholes, all catholics are pedophiles n sex offenders, all muslims are terrorists, all buddhists are kung fu masters, and all other religions are all their own category. In which case, by your logic, all religious folks are crazed lunatics believing in a higher power to protect themselves from their own guilt because mommy n daddy said so. Makes sense :3

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                • Edited by BeastyCamstar: 9/12/2015 8:50:49 PM
                  [quote]I don't want to start a flame war[/quote] [i]Goes on to name the title "Atheists are assholes"[/i]

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                  • [quote]It was going to be a long flight to Alderaan.[/quote] i need an explanation. im guessing its a star wars reference.

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                    • Lol

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                    • So believing in luck makes you an asshole? Ok then, I believe in chance...

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                    • Edited by Arkay: 9/12/2015 9:23:47 PM
                      [quote]It was going to be a long flight to Alderaan.[/quote] [spoiler]Kek[/spoiler]

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                    • Actual gr8 b8 m8 I legit r8 8/8 -IGN

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