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Edited by J0b R: 4/12/2016 1:54:09 PM
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J0b R

Gotta Go FAST!

I remember when I was 12 years old and I rented this movie from the local public library. I used to watch it religiously, every day when I would get home from school I would pop the disk into the DvD player and just sit there watching the movie on repeat for hours. But I knew that it couldn't last forever I knew that one day I would have to return the DVD to the library. One day when I got home from school my mom said to me "J0b, I got a call from the library and that sonic DVD is overdue we have to return it today". I said "NO, mom I can't return the DVD" my mom responded "what did you scratch the disk or something??” I said "Hell NO mom do you honestly think I would do anything to harm this dvd" my mom said "don't talk to me like that" I said “I’ll talk to you however I want bitch". My mom gasped and smacked me in the face I fell to the ground my mom said "that movie has been a bad influence on you I’m going to the library to return it immediately" she walked over to the dvd player where the dvd was currently playing and was going to press the eject button but, before she could there was a blue blur the flew out from the TV and push my mom on to the floor. I knew who it was and I knew he would put an end to the injustice my mom was committing. My mom said "what the heck was that" the Blue blur responded with " I am the fastest thing alive I am protector of all living things that cry out in misery I am sonic the hedgehog and I am a nightmare to you". My mom said "I'm calling the police" sonic said "you're too slow" the vanished for a millisecond then reappeared holding the house phone. He crushed the house phone in his hand and said "try to keep up!” My mom screamed and ran into the kitchen. Sonic raced after her and I followed. My mom grabbed a kitchen knife and said "I don't know who you are or what you are but I'm going to stab if you don't get out of my house right now!!!!!” Sonic said "don't tell me what to d-" as he was talking he was interrupted by my mom's knife. It slashed him across his Achilles tendon. Sonic sad "NO NOW I CAN'T GO FAST". My mom said "I know and I’m going to put an end to you right now" sonic mumbled "YOU BITCH'. My mom put her right foot forward and charge toward sonic she had the knife against her stomach with the blade pointing outward in the direction of Sonic’s heart. I knew I had to stop this because if I didn't sonic would surely die. I leaped forward in front of my mom. The blade went straight into my throat. My mom yelled "OH MY GOD!" blood shot out of my throat and I fell. As I lay on the ground awaiting my eminent death I feel a strange sense of contempt within my demise. I knew my death would be for a good cause, FOR SANIC. Tl;Dr - Sanic I Luv Sanic iS LifE -J0b R does a cringe
English
#Offtopic #J0bR

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  • Edited by J0b R: 4/14/2016 7:30:00 PM
    [b] [/b]

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    • 7/10 -IGN [i][b]too much fruit[/b][/i]

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      • That story made me cry, I mean sonic almost died!

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      • Sanic Baam

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      • [b] [/b]

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      • This is immediantly what I thought of.

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        • Anyone else remember the sonic cartoon? I watched every episode back then. Almost miss it... almost.

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          • Edited by SigilG362: 4/13/2016 7:59:17 PM
            What... The fuсk?

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          • [u] [/u]

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            • Sonic 06 was the best sonic game. Shadow the Hedgehog is right behind it.

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            • [b] [/b]

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              • Op is- *gets sniped*

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              • Woot woot ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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              • Edited by J0b R: 4/13/2016 1:36:08 PM
                [b] [/b]

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                • *chugs a gallon of bleach*

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                • I remember when I was 12 years old and I rented this movie from the local public library. I used to watch it religiously, every day when I would get home from school I would pop the disk into the DvD player and just sit there watching the movie on repeat for hours. But I knew that it couldn't last forever I knew that one day I would have to return the DVD to the library. One day when I got home from school my mom said to me "Ethan Fredrick Heyns, son of Garret Heyns, I got a call from the library and that sonic DVD is overdue we have to return it today". I said "NO, mom I can't return the DVD" my mom responded "what did you scratch the disk or something??” I said "Hell NO mom do you honestly think I would do anything to harm this dvd" my mom said "don't talk to me like that" I said “I’ll talk to you however I want bitch". My mom gasped and smacked me in the face I fell to the ground my mom said "that movie has been a bad influence on you I’m going to the library to return it immediately" she walked over to the dvd player where the dvd was currently playing and was going to press the eject button but, before she could there was a blue blur the flew out from the TV and push my mom on to the floor. I knew who it was and I knew he would put an end to the injustice my mom was committing. My mom said "what the heck was that" the Blue blur responded with " I am the fastest thing alive I am protector of all living things that cry out in misery I am sonic the hedgehog and I am a nightmare to you". My mom said "I'm calling the police" sonic said "you're too slow" the vanished for a millisecond then reappeared holding the house phone. He crushed the house phone in his hand and said "try to keep up!” My mom screamed and ran into the kitchen. Sonic raced after her and I followed. My mom grabbed a kitchen knife and said "I don't know who you are or what you are but I'm going to stab if you don't get out of my house right now!!!!!” Sonic said "don't tell me what to d-" as he was talking he was interrupted by my mom's knife. It slashed him across his Achilles tendon. Sonic sad "NO NOW I CAN'T GO FAST". My mom said "I know and I’m going to put an end to you right now" sonic mumbled "YOU BITCH'. My mom put her right foot forward and charge toward sonic she had the knife against her stomach with the blade pointing outward in the direction of Sonic’s heart. I knew I had to stop this because if I didn't sonic would surely die. I leaped forward in front of my mom. The blade went straight into my throat. My mom yelled "OH MY GOD!" blood shot out of my throat and I fell. As I lay on the ground awaiting my eminent death I feel a strange sense of contempt within my demise. I knew my death would be for a good cause, FOR SANIC.

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                • Relevant... if the pic doesn't show, someone please punch me face.

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                • Is this really what humour has degraded to?

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                  • Topest of al keks!

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                  • My mom didn't sign my permission slip to go on this feels trip...

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                  • I expected like a sonic Loli or something, I'm so happy that's not what it was

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                    • I expected like a sonic Loli or something, I'm so happy that's not what it was

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                    • *dies of cringe*

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                      • How much time did you spend creating this?

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                      • [b] [/b]

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                      • That photo though Savage.

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