{{
`${userDetail.user.displayName}${userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode ? `#${standardizeBungieGlobalCode(userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode)}` : ""}`}}
{{getUserClans()}}
7/18/2019 12:27:40 AM
1
"By Bernthal's Bouncing Brown Betty's!! The inhumanity of this horrid scene! What kinda foul monster would do such a thing!!" I boom out in utter horror!
Xombie steps into a shadow and re-appears next to CoolHandLuke and says, "Hey little buddy, uhmmmm, you are on your own, I have to go destroy an entire army of chocolate cookie men. Best of luck!"
Xombie steps back into the shadow and re-appears near the Chocolate Cookie Men Army.
"What am I gonna do, I canna drown them, but a molasses wave might slow them down while I come up with a strategy!"
So saying, Xombie calls forth another Molasses Tsunami to slow the Army down.
English
-
*They call upon the demonic power of chocolate to slow the wave down, then throw cocoa nibs at Xombie*
-
As the cocoa nibs come flying in at Xombie, he quickly raises a magical Cookie Shield to deflect the little chocolate bombs. As the cocoa bombs hit the shield, the explosions stagger Xombie, as he was not prepared for their potency! Reeling backwards, he accidentally sends out a wild bolt of concentrated entropy from his skeletal hand.
-
*The entropy causes a large portion of the army to disintegrate. This causes the others to fly into a rage, and they charge at Xombie*
-
*As Xombie tries to recover, he slips and hits the ground rolling a few feet away from the Cookie Men. He is barely coming to his hands and knees when the Horde descends upon him*
-
*The Cookie People start poking you with their diamond spears*
-
*As the spears pierce into Xombie, he starts to chuckle, his mirth growing and growing, soon turning into a booming laughter that actually knocks the Cookie Men back a few feet* "I am the undead Prophet of a Gawd that destroys your impurity! Didst thou truly believe that your spears wouldst cause me pain? Have at thee then!" Xombie's robe dematerializes and he is standing there in all of his Assless Chap wearing glory, a double-bladed Dragon Battle Axe in one hand and a fighting hammer in the other. With a mad cackle, Xombie leaps into the fray, raining blows down all around him!
-
*The Cookie Men fall before his mighty blows. As he starts to bow humbly and flex mightily, the Chocolate Chip Cookie Prophet appears* “I am Combie!” He booms. “Prepare to meet your doom!” *He draws two massive greatswords and charges*
-
*Xombie allows himself in mid bow to fall into a shadow and avoid the charge. He re-appears 50 feet behind and 20 to the left, sticks his fingers in his ears wiggle them and says, "Tell Bathsalts that no inferior cookie Prophet will ever defeat me! I mean, tell him after I kill you of course, it would be sorta weird to want you to stop right now and run the message to him and all." With that, Xombie raises his battle axe and hammer, prepared to drum this Cookie Kook into cookie crumbs!
-
“Who is this “Bathsalts”?” He asks. “I serve no other god than Lanthal, the Chocolate Chip god!”
-
"Wait, you are not with ole Bathsalts team down there? The ones with the heat shield, the walls and the drone people things? Also, do you realize that you are serving a false cookie? Have you ever heard of The One True Cookie, the Molasses Cookie? The rich, wonderful purity of it is what makes it so wonderful. Besides, you canna have [i][u]rum[/u][/i] without molasses!”
-
“There can never be any other cookie than Chocolate Chip! The warm gooey goodness when it’s fresh from the oven, eating the dough even if you get sick, there is nothing better!”
-
"[b][i][u]BLASPHEMY!!![/u][/i][/b] You foul knave, prepare for your insides to become your outsides!”
-
“No, U!” *He charges and swings his swords*
-
*Xombie launches forward, swinging into a low spin, battle axe first that if it connects, will cut through the shins and allow him to either block or follow up with a launching strike from the hammer to the underside of the chin of Combie* "Yyyyoooooouuuuuurrrrrrrrr mmmmmmoooooommmmmmmaaaaaaa!!!!!”
-
*Combie blocks, and slams his sword into the ground, causing massive spikes of chocolate to appear*
-
*Xombie is impaled on a spear of chocolate and hangs there limp, his eye sockets empty of the green flames*
-
*Combie begins to bow mightily and flex humbily*
-
*the moment Combie's head dips low, Xombie leans down bites Combie's entire head off*.
-
*the headless torso of Combie swings it’s greatswords at Xombie*
-
*Xombie continues to chew up Combie's head as a sickly green and black light surrounds his entire body, pure, focused entropy, that causes all within its sphere to rot away. The great swords, being of Holy design, start to smoke, but do not rot and Xombie catches them in his hands.*
-
*As Combie’s body dissolves, he transfers his spirit into the swords, and stabs them at your chest*
-
*Xombie, having never relinquished his grasp upon the 2 greatswords, struggles to keep the blades out and away from himself, while the last of the chocolate spears impaling him rot away and are flushed from his system. The fresh meat/brains heal him at a rapid pace, giving him extra strength. If this goes much longer though, he may have to call upon Bernthal to destroy these blades, if none of his powers can stop them*
-
*The greatswords struggle against Xombie’s hold, and release a blast of scalding hit Chocolate to make you let go*
-
*Xombie, who spends his time within Oven, baking the molasses cookies, does not feel heat or even anything, due to having no living nerves to send pain or pleasure responses. The very movements of his body are conveyed through holy magic. Thus he does not feel the burn of the hot chocolate, but it does make his grip slippery, forcing Xombie to struggle to maintain his hold.
-
*Teh chocolate coalesces into a hard shell, trapping both for all eternity*
