[i]Hey. My name's Remaru-10. Found some papyrus and a stylus in this dusty Lost Sector. 'Bout as much as a treasure as twenty glimmer and a rare. Which one is this? Pariah's Refuge? Whatever. I'm just going to leave this here just in case it catches anyone's attention. And cuz I have no one to talk to right now. So sit down because this Gunslingin' gal's got a story to tell. The best part about being a Guardian is making the explosions and or being in the explosions. My sister, Noctis Vox, would say otherwise, but don't listen to her. You're reading this because you're on my side! And that's what makes you cool. Okay! Story time! Cayde-6 told me once that if you could never rise Flawless in Osiris' Trials, you could earn Pariah armor at Mercury. So like the gullible 'venture lovin' Hunter I am, I believed him! Just like that, I jumped off the Tower, had my boy, Dot, revive me after missing the epic opportunity to jump "on" my jumpship, then we headed off! So there I was, shuffling through the hot ass desert. And... that Sun... was burning hot. It was on me like frosting on a birthday cake. The sweltering wind blew against my awesome cloak. Step by step, I marched forward, fighting against the unforgiving weather conditions. This went on for hours and hours. Or was it just a few minutes? I don't know. I can't remember. Heat messes with your head, so let's leave it at hours to keep it dramatic. Okay, where was I? Oh yeah! The wind broke. I mean, not literally, I just entered the Lost Sector so the wind stopped. I wanted it to sound cool. Nevermind, I'm digging myself a hole. But rumor had it, Cabals had the balls to storm into the Sector, clearing out all of the Vex-y Vex. So as I keep on walking in, guess what all I find this hideout? Books! Tons of them! Oh, and there were Cabal— The rumors were true. In fact, a Legionaire had brought a pack War Beasts. So what did do I next? I pulled out my clucking D.F.A and started popping heads! Like champagne! You should've been there. Headshotted a Phalanx. Boosh. Brains went everywhere. It was getting really fun. Started going deeper, not a sex joke, okay it is, but went deeper, stabbed some tubby guys, shot the dogs, took some selfies. Really, it was a great time! Then it started getting rough. Whipped my gun around, pulled the trigger. Click click. No ammo! Like, really? Why me? The bad guys never run out of ammo! But then I get this itchy feeling in my hand. You know the one, the one that if anything gets in the hand, everything will go right. Unless you're a Titan or a Warlock. Then it's your knuckles or your dress. I reached to the ceiling, grabbing my favorite gun of all time, made from my own Solar Light! Vwoosh! My gun sizzled in my hands. I pointed it at the tubby suckers. Then BANG! Bye-bye, Call of Duty Teletubbies! Then a War Beasts was like: BAM! And a Psion was like: BAM! And I was like: "Owww! Baby!" Condensed rays of light burned them into crisp! Each kick of my gun made my hand even more itchy! Then, poof. Yep, yeah. And at the worst time too. Cuz here comes midget Bane with his gas tank on his back and with enough loaded gas to knock me through the wall. No ammo. No Super energy. In a panic, I started throwing whatever I had at him. It's a Hunter defensive mechanism, like when pansy Nightstalkers, sorry Noctis I'm calling you out, start throwing Smoke Bombs and Vortex Grenades. You see that crap a lot in the Crucible. So imagine this all was happening in slow motion, cuz it was in my robo dome. Threw a Tripmine Grenade. And I missed horribly, like I always do. It went over his head, landing on the bookshelves behind him. Damn, you books. Then I threw my most reliable partner. Every Hunter has him or her. No not my Ghost, but I should've thrown Dot. Through my two fingertips, I slipped my pal, Sira, at him. Sira's never listened to me, but she always gets the job done. So I said, "Sira, go for the head!" You think she listened? Hell no! Went right passed the punk's face! Slicing right through his fuel tank. WOOOM! Sira exploded! BADOOMDOOM! Combustion man exploded! WICKASHOOMTOMB! The Tripmine exploded! Books exploded! I EXPLODED! My limbs went'a flyin' everywhere! Honestly, I'm surprised the whole hideout didn't collapse from my awesome ending! So then, Dot picked me up, opened the chest and here we are. Now I'm just sitting on a table and writing in this scroll. Yep, those Remaru days. They're always this fun. Ugh, I even broke 1000 words. Reminds me of Ikora's idea for fun. What am I gonna do now? No Pariah armor, no Glimmer, and still ain't go no bullets. All I got is this stupid expired ramen coupon Cayde gave me. And, of course, he had to go off on a secret mission to the Reef to help Petra. As far as I know, it ain't even the typical bounty. So who knows how long that'll take. What am I gonna do? I have some Poker cards and he ain't even here. Ugh, I hope he finishes soon. I miss the funny guy. [/i] —Tale from the scroll of Remaru-10 Back to the Castellos Constellation: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/243179955