My day started like any other. I got up, took a good long look outside while I pissed out the window. It also watered my plants, which were for some reason dead. I went downstairs and got some coffee to wake up and got on bungie.net. Apparently they got a new CEO, his name was “ImmaDrizit.” I glossed over this and went to Offtopic and searched for any shitposts. Of course, since the Purge, my searches failed me. However, my day would get much more interesting. I went in to work at Munder Difflin. As per usual I wasted my employers time by getting on b.net. As I was scrolling #Feedback to find out how I should troll the scrubs there I suddenly got a phone call. I picked it up and saw it was from Washington and figured it StarBucks calling me for a review. I hung up and got back on b.net. I got a call from the same number again and figured that maybe I could get a free frappe. ImmaDrizit: Is this Liam Gue? Liam_Gue: Yes? Is this about the the service review from StarBucks? To be honest the one in my town is really subpar. ImmaDrizit: I know right? Half the ti- oh, yeah, yeah, I’ll get back to that. Anyway the reason I’m calling is because b.net is in danger. Liam_Gue: Who is this? ImmaDrizit: The Bungie CEO. Liam_Gue: Cool cool, why does this involve me? ImmaDrizit: Because I need a completely incompetent b.net user, or users, to save it. Liam_Gue: Do I get paid? ImmaDrizit: You get eternal “Ur Mom triple gey immunity” and “No u” immunity. Liam_Gue: Fair enough. Do I need to get a team together? ImmaDrizit: Yeah, you’re good going to need a communist, a flat-earther, and and some meme experts. Liam_Gue: Can I have 2 communists? One can hack while the other seizes the means of production. ImmaDrizit: Sounds good. When you have your team, meet me at the Bungie studios. He hung up and I got to forming a team. I already had a flat-earther I could go to. So I went downtown to his crappy apartment. I went inside and immediately smelled weed and wondered if that’s how he became the flat-earther he is today. I went to his room and knocked on the door. Liam_Gue: Krishna? Can I come in? Triumphant1000: The door’s open. Also, it’s Krishna’s Prophet. Please respect the title. Liam_Gue: What’s with the weed smell? Triumphant1000: Oh that’s just my roommates, they’ll be out soon since they bought weed with their rent money. Liam_Gue: Uh huh, anyway, apparently b.net is in danger or something. You want to help me save it? Triumphant1000: What’s In it for me? Liam_Gue: Eternal protection from “Your Mom Triple Gay” and Eternal anti-“No u.” Triumphant1000: Does the triple gay part include every level of gay or just triple gay? Liam_Gue: We can talk about that later. You in? Triumphant1000: Sure. Just to let you know, I’m going to be working on a horizontal theory video so I’m going to be doing a lot of recording on the way to Seattle. Liam_Gue: Alright. I need a few more people, preferably communists. Triumphant1000: We talking Reddit commies or b.net commies? Liam_Gue: Either or. Triumphant1000: Okay. I’ll go on b.net. Give me a few minutes. Liam_Gue: Oh yeah, any snipers and meme experts you know of? Triumphant1000: The Sniper is across the hall. Liam_Gue: Ok, pack your things so we can get going. ——————————————————————— End of part 1.[spoiler]Yes this is cringey, it’s supposed to be.[/spoiler]