It's time to bring back an old series of mine: If Bungie ran McDonald's.
Bungie: Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order?
o______o: Yeah, I'll have the big mac value meal with some water.
Bungie: If that's all, that will be $5.69. Please pull around to the first window.
*pulls around, hands Bungie my money.
Bungie: Here you go, have a good day.
o_____o: Wait, what is this? You gave me an empty bag.
Bungie: Whoops, sorry. This is my first time doing this sort of thing.
o_____o: Understandable.
bungie: Ok, here is your meal. Sorry about that.
o_____o: Dude....you gave me two patties, but no buns, pickles, mac sauce, or any of the other toppings. The fries and water are missing as well. What the hell?!?
bungie: Oh...sorry, you have to pay extra for the toppings.
o_____o: That's -blam!-ing bullshit. I paid $5.69 for the big mac value meal, it says so right back there on the menu.
bungie: Did you read the very small writing?
o_____o: What small writing?!?
bungie: under the menu, it says "price may not always cover all content in the picture.".
o_____o: That is DECEPTIVE and misleading! Now I demand that you give me what I paid for.
*car beeps behind o_____o*
Desticle: GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!!
o_____o: I CAN'T! NOT UNTIL I GET WHAT I PAID FOR!!! THEY ONLY GAVE ME TWO PATTIES!!!!
Desticle: WHO CARES? YOU'RE THE KIND OF WHINER WHO PROBABLY USED TO EAT AT WENDY'S!!!
Bungie: Ok...look, I'm sorry. Your feedback has been noted. I'll fix this situation right away.
*takes o____o's order back.
o______o: Finally.
*bungie comes back with a dripping bag and hands it to o_____o
o_____o: What the -blam!-?!?!
Bungie: We gave you the water for free.
o_____o: YOU POURED IT IN MY BAG YOU IDIOT!!!!
Desticle: WOW, YOU ALWAYS FIND SOMETHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING DON'T YOU?
o_____o: HEY, IT'S NOT MY FAULT THEY KEEP -blam!-ING IT UP!!!
Desticle: THEY DIDN'T -blam!- ANYTHING UP, THIS IS THE BEST RESTAURANT EVER!!!!
Bungie: I'm sorry sir, we really want your meal to be satisfactory, but let's stay on target. If you would like to leave some feedback, pull up to our feedback box and leave your feedback on a piece of paper. The feedback box is right over there.
o_____o: That looks like a trash can.
Bungie: It's our feedback box.
o_____o: It IS a trash can!!! It even says 'trash' on the lid!
Bungie: Your concern has been noted, leave it in the feedback box.
o____o: HOW ABOUT I LEAVE IT HERE? ALL I WANTED WAS THE BIG MAC VALUE MEAL WHICH I PAID FOR! IT'S VERY EASY TO DO, JUST PUT TWO PATTIES BETWEEN DOUBLE DECKER BUNS, PUT THE TOPPINGS ON THE PATTIES, WRAP IT UP, INCLUDE SOME FRIES, AND PUT THEM BOTH IN THE BAG. THEN HAND ME THE BOTTLED WATER. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, UNSCREWING THE BOTTLE AND POURING IT IN THE BAG?!?
Bungie: We wanted it to be a more interactive experience.
o_____o:........What the hell?!?
Bungie: I'm sorry sir, we are trying to please you. Here, I'll fix the situation for you. *dumps a whole bag of table salt all over o_____o.
o____o: *spits and hacks the salt out of his nose and mouth.* WHAT THE....What the hell is wrong with you?!?"
Bungie: My intent was to dry up the spilled water and bring out the flavor in the hamburger.
o____o: HOW CAN YOU BE SO INCOMPETENT?!?
Bungie, sir, please stay on target. Feedback belongs in the feedback box.
o____o: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU GUYS?!? I used to love coming here. I remember when your slogan used to be "We love to see you smile!". What ever happened to those days, where you actually cared about your customers? Now it seems like you are on drugs. Why do you treat us like thi...
*Bungie shuts the window on o_____o
o_____o: -blam!- this.
*o_____o drives away angrily, forced to accept his mess.
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1 RespuestaThis again?..... Could have at least update it.
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2 RespuestasI always wonder what DeeJ and Cozmo think when they see posts like this, I wonder if they feel guilty or just laugh and think about what a "good job" they've done.
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Brilliant
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1 RespuestaThey would charge you for the ketchup packets and give you free mustard later.
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A very enjoyable read.
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No no Mc bungie gives you the burger with just the patties and the buns and then leans out the window looking at his wrist watch and slowly puts he sauce on and then 5 min later puts the cheese and then so on with the rest of the toppings. While he is found this he is talking up that the pickles are "going to change the game" and everyone behind you in he cue are running around looking at the menu trying to decipher the hidden meaning and how to find said pickles and eventually after he slowly drops them on to your half frozen burger mess everyone realises that he had a stopwatch on the whole time.
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I knew I remembered you from somewhere....
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7 RespuestasMe: Could I get a quarter pounder? Bungie: Sure thing *I wait for a minute* Bungie: Here you go sir Me: Thanks, wait a minute, the buns are empty! Bungie: Sorry, that is part of our new event, you can unlock extra cosmetic items for your meal. Me:What!? Bungie: You can try your luck for another $4 Me: Well I'm really hungry, here you go *I give Bungie my money and they take a box out from beneath the counter* Bungie: Here's you package Me: Umm thanks *I open the box and a paper McDonalds cup with a unique design pops out* Me: What the hell is this? Bungie: That is a special cup, there is a small chance that you might get a different burger packaging design instead of a new cup Me: That's stupid! Why won't you just give me something I can put in my burger buns?! Bungie: You want something inside your burger? How about some sparrow racing! Me: What!? Bungie: And if you buy horn packs, there's a chance you might get a slightly different coloured sparrow! Me: Whaa... Bungie: Sounds fun right! But you can also get a book for another $10! Me: What does this book do? Bungie: Well it's not a real book, it's a way of seeing your stats and achieving some extra cosmetic items. Me: Alright, screw this, I'm going to Burger King! Bungie: Wait! Don't! If you bring a friend to this McDonald's, you can get an exclusive recoloured meal! Me: No, good day to you sir
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3 RespuestasOr bungie servers run on McDonald's wifi
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I made a short parody on another thread
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2 RespuestasCobalt- can I get a double cheeseburger with just cheese and bacon with some fries and a large coke? Bungie- sure! 5 minutes later Bungie- here you go Cobalt WHAT THE F*CK my burger is maggot infested my fries are dismantled mines and my coke is cocaine! Bungie- is there any nerfs you would like to complain about? Cobalt-screw you Walks out cobalt is later seen carrying a Jerry can and a stolen flamethrower taken from the titan armory the the bungie donalds is now in flames
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Skolas and mc. Bungie's Bungie: Welcome to Mc Bungie's, may i take your order? Skolas: Yes, I would like just a Large 6 piece nugget meal (chicken nuggets and fries) with a large fanta, thanks, Bungie: Okay then, that'll be £6.99, please pay at the first window, *Skolas goes to window, pays, and goes to next window* Bungie: Here is your meal sir, have a nice day, Skolas: This is a Happy Meal? And wheres my fanta?? Bungie: You need to pay extra for a large meal, Skolas: But i paid 7 pounds for a large! Bungie: if you wanna upgrade your meal size please pay another £3 Skolas: WHAT??? fine! *Skolas pays £3* Bungie: Here is your mea... Skolas: Thats a medium fries, and small fanta.... Bungie: If you wanna upgrade.... Skolas: -blam!- THIS DIPSHIT IM GOING TA' KFC! Bungie: Nooo!!! If you pay.... *Skolas takes off in his Skiff*
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Lol the is great
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Lmao yup
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*squints at tiny burger* What, this is all I get? "We'll give you another half of one if you pay more." Screw that, this thing would put off hunger for five minutes. "I don't know what you're talking about. There's plenty of meat. You just have to keep regurgitating it so you can eat it again."
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Me: you're not long face!
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+1 for bringing back an old series -1 for changing nothing to adapt to the new issues Bungie and Destiny Have
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Not yours but funny
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This was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen ^~^
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Actually, it describes some worst parts of real Bungie.
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1 RespuestaGuys it's the real Long Face! Do you know how I know? [spoiler]Because he misappropriates the #Satire tag just as much as the old one...[/spoiler] Many of the problems he stated are imaginary and seem to be created for the purpose of generating ire towards Bungie. Satire should be used in a way to ridicule shortcomings, but instead the OP made fun of problems which don't exist. But all grievances aside, I like the idea of this post, and love how extremely each personality leans towards a single dimension. Very easy to interpret and something which takes a good deal of practice to do so well. +1 for writing skill and comedic value. -1 for false claims and hate mongering. [spoiler]Lowkey, good to have you back Long Face. [/spoiler]
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I was just as McDonald's. Had to get my Hoopa, ya know.