Love you longface

you inspired me to write this. If destiny was a bar... Customer: Wow look at this place, the lights, the bar, the drinking games and immersive story. Whoa only 4 tables though? Odd. Oh well. (walks up to the bartender) Customer: What is the best drink to have? Bartender: Here, try this icebreaker shot. Customer: OH WOW thats so good, what else do you have? Can I try the No land Beyond shot? Bartender: Here have 8! Customer: I just want one, you know testing out the variety? Bartender: too bad this bar does things by random, its how we stay afloat, have another NLB shot. Customer: Whats in that room those people with badges are going into. Bartender: Oh thats the special drinking room, you cant go in. Customer: Well thats kinda cool, they must have payed extra for that ya? Bartender: Nope, they are just special to us, thats all. Customer: uh, ok. anyway. Your company's old bar had so many things and was like 10 times the size of this place, any chance you have the drinking games like before? Bartender: Oh for sure! but we are trying some new things since this is a new place. Customer: Ok, that can only be good considering what sort of ideas and stuff your company had in the old bar, it only makes sense to make money with some of the original and flawless stuff you had before. Bartender: (Scratches head) Uh, ya! Sure! We think youll like it, but you will have to decide for yourself whats worth spending money on. Customer: Sure no problem, the exclusive stuff is kinda odd but i suppose youre reaching out to a new crowd so ill pay no mind to that. Bartender: Thank god! Customer: What? Bartender: Nothing, please have a seat over there with 5 friends and enjoy the drinking games! Customer: hmmm... ok cool but i have 11 friends total that want to drink against eachother, like in your old bar. Bartender: Thats not how we do things anymore, youre going to have to hope and wait. Customer: But, thats like a no brainer to be able to play privately with friends, right? Bartender: We need to keep stuff from you so you keep coming back later on. Customer: Well, i understand that, its a smart business technique, but your bar has 4 tables as of now. What kind of improvements are planned? Bartender: You have to wait and see. Sorry. (Puts a sign around his neck that says "I'm listening" and turns to watch TV in the back of the bar.) Customer: Right, common guys lets go sit down across from those 6 strangers. We can meet up later outside or something. (we split in groups of 6) Fanboys: Herpa derpa im a sherpa... man this place is great guys am i right? Customer and friends: Ya this place looks like its something else, detail i never thought a bar could have. Fanboys: We know!!!! Lets drink! (Strangers all take one shot of red death and pass out) Customer and friends: Well that was fast, what now? Those guys over there are drinking a lot! lets go challenge them to a drinking game! (Bartender steps in front of us as we make our way to the other table) Bartender: Sorry, youre not aloud to choose who you play against, we need you to think we care about you socializing because we are incoherent and greedy here at this new bar Customer and friends: Are you insane? Why can we not just sit down over there and play with them. That IS socializing. Bartender: This isnt the topic of conversation anymore. please have a seat against the friends you just played against. Customer: The game lasted less than 10 minutes, they all passed out or are over there waiting on you to listen to their concer... (Bartender falls alseep but wakes up quickly to pretend like he wasnt alseep) Bartender: YA im listening to them! Customer: I think my friends and i are going to leave, can we get out money back? I know we all paid digitally for our tickets but we arent happy with whatever direction this is going. Bartender: Oh you preordered digitally? Ya.... afraid since youve been here awhile now and we gave you those 9 NLB shots, you cant have your money back. Customer: Well, that seems kinda wrong. Bartender: Please keep telling me things, its very important we keep talking about this. Customer: Well then tell me things i want to hear man. whats the story behind this place? (Bartender throws 52 cards all over the bar floor) Bartender: There's all the information you want, enjoy! Customer and friends: We're leaving, we'll be back later to see what kind of improvements you make because after all, we are all very passionate fans of your work history. Seriously though, think about letting us 12 friends hang out together privately next time? Bartender: Guess youll just have to wait and see!

I turn on the forums after months of absence only to find out the imfamous longface has returned from the coldest trenches in the deep dead deserted damned and demonised depths of B.net... My god. -_-

Ha abierto un tema nuevo: If Bungie ran McDonald's Episode 2: Nerfed Coffee(102 Respuestas))

Imagine if Bungie was a phone company.

Please bump for later some time around 2:00 pst i wanna reread this lol