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Edited by Vien 'Quitonm:
1/30/2015 8:49:54 PM
270
So What Is Your Mating Procedure?
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18 RepliesI walk around and shout, "Penis! Penis here! I have a penis! Dose anyone want penis!" The score is 0 success - 178901928381 attempts. I'm feeling lucky about 178901928382
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1 ReplyOpening line: "Bite the pillow, love. I'm goin' in dry....." Closing line: "...and that, officer, is how I ended up with an axe lodged in my scrotum..."
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I have sexual relations with my wife in the missionary position for the purpose of procreation.
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It's complicated..
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6 RepliesHere's what I do: Step 1: approach target Step 2: talk sexy to target Step 3: saxophone Step 4: bed Step 5: [i][b]YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS[/b][/i] Step 6: -information redacted- Step 7: -information redacted- Step 8: get the handcuffs Step 9: [i]sex[/i]
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3 Replieslike dis^
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[i][b]Squawk![/b][/i]
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I just microwave it
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You know how snails do? That.
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4 Replies1) approach female specimen 2) expose male genitalia 3) insert male genitalia into female specimen 4) ??? 5) profit
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This.
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4 Replies1. Get naked 2. Show her my 1inch pulveriser 3. She leavs :D
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4 Repliesmy gf says she'll let me do it when I get the ghally....
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Necrobump
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1 Reply
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I release my pollinating spores into the air and impregnate all women in a hundred yard radius, give or take depending on wind conditions.
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4 RepliesSex is abomination
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2 RepliesPhotosynthesis? Commence beatings? Commence beatings.
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7 RepliesEdited by MahNoseInYaToes: 2/5/2015 4:03:44 AM>enter female >thrust slowly >increase thrusting speed gradually >put one of her legs over my shoulder >thrust hard enough until bed hits the wall >mom enters room and says "What's that noise?" >Awwww mom you're just jealous it's the Beastie Boys
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8 Replies1) open the door 2) get on the floor 3) EVERYBODY DO THE DINOSAUR
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3 Replies"Mating procedure" sounds so official, lol. Like you're docking a ship or installing something.
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Pick up phone Call your mom Tell her I'm horny... Should I keep going
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*mating intensifies*
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1) do the dance of my people 2) -blam!- bitches 3) profit
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