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Edited by I SLAY Z0MBIES:
1/31/2015 1:26:11 AM
566
Thanks for the support. Too much negativity.
The negativity is too strong. Thanks for the positive feedback. Honestly didn't think i'd get this many responses.
English
#Destiny
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Thank you for your service. Sorry that PTSD followed you back home. No great advice from me. As a rule, you don't take away a coping mechanism, ever. That stated, 7 hours can be a lot. She loves you and no doubt has your well being at heart. Don't lose sight of that.
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Edited by QuiscalusMajor: 1/30/2015 7:04:02 PMFirst off, thank you for your service. Secondly, would it be possible for you to get her into the game too? she can run dailies, weeklies, nightfalls with you, that's spending time together and having fun. or would it be possible for you to set aside an hour or two here and there to maybe make dinner together, go out to a movie, or do something not game-related? bottom line, i think you're in the right -- PTSD is serious, and if Destiny is helping you to cope she should understand that. war does terrible things to people and whatever keeps you sane and healthy after going through that kind of trauma, whether it's a game or a pet or a new hobby or twelve jobs, she should know better than to interfere with that healing process. there are support groups for military wives, perhaps she should join one and hear some real horror stories about vets with no ability to cope and nothing they can latch onto to keep them sane. however, your eventual goal should probably be to return to a more normal lifestyle like the one you had before deployment, shouldn't it? if that was you playing video games all the time, she has nothing to complain about because she knew what she was getting into when she married you, but if you guys went out all the time and met up with friends, went shopping, went to local parks, enjoyed movies and TV together and whatnot, when you and your therapist feel you're ready you should probably try and cut back the video games to a more reasonable level of playtime. and if that isn't at all possible anytime soon, maybe it's time to sit down and have a chat about your relationship together, get it all out on the table so decisions can be made. be honest and let her decide whether she wants to stick it out or move on to greener pastures.
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Take shrooms and go on a spiritual journey. 4 of 5 soldiers with PTSD that have taken shrooms and had spiritual therapy have reported to come out happy and anew
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4 RepliesShe deserves a beating all it takes is one and she should remember her role
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2 RepliesWhy would you post this? On a destiny forum? May as well pull the pin on a grenade and hope flowers come out.
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I know how you feel. Similar situation I've gone through and I'd be happy to talk to you more one on one if you want to message me privately. I served 2006-2010 and was with 1/5. So if you need brother just hit me up.
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So what do you want? Relationship advice or support for your disorder? The disorder is terrible, I hope you will get proper treatment for that. The relationship thing? If you think buying shit and paying for rent is enough in a relationship? Well then you have a problem.
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One tip is to use #offtopic
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I think you should have every right to play. I'm sorry that she's making you struggle with this. Why can't there be both? I don't understand... I wanted to go in the Marines, but I was disqualified... Thank you for serving, even at the extreme cost you had to pay.
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Honestly it sounds like you should be happy to have her at all. Lay off the destiny and show her some attention
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7 RepliesWhat the he'll is the point of this? If you neglect her for a video game you deserve to have her neglect you. ROCKET SCIENCE
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Edited by Mardithon: 1/30/2015 6:58:07 PMEveryone has a different story, but to me it always comes down to the same thing. Marriage is tough. If you really want to keep yours together, then do what you've got to do. If not, do what you want.
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1 ReplyI really don't see how your being so civil with most of the comments on here, I'm flipping my god damned lid over here. I don't need to validate my experiences over there but my friends died for these ungrateful -blam!-s. I love it how they hide behind internet anonymity, because not one of these dicks would say something like that to a combat veterans face. This community is -blam!-ed...
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I'm a Canadian but still, thank you for all you do for your country. It's an absolute shame that people can even sit there and call you a liar, if this worlds come to that then stuffs a lot more pathetic than I thought. My girls the same, I work 60+ hours a week, not for my country but I am a trades person and someone's gotta be out there doing it. Anyways I started showing her how to play, try to teach her and now she has her own character and understands the game. Try and schedule time for her if that's what it takes. It doesn't sound to me like you're doing anything wrong. Just sounds like she's use to you doing everything for her, and doesn't like that you're taking time for yourself now. If sit down and have a talk with her about your mental illness and explain how it's not just some thought process. It's an actual disease, just like cancer or anything else. If she can't understand that an still doesn't cut you slack then maybe she's the wrong person for you. And it sounds like you deserve something/someone who's understanding. Especially after what you've been through. She has no idea and never will man.
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You are not alone! Me and every guy I know who plays this share the same wifezilla stories when it comes to gaming. It's somehow okay for the wives to all play Candy Crush 12 hours straight (to include while eating out at dinner) but the second us husbands pick up a PS4 controller its WWIII SHOTS FIRED!
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2 RepliesA lot of the problem is people view this war just like Vietnam. They think it is a useless and unnecessary war and therefore don't give any veterans the respect they deserve. Hopefully everything works out because PTSD is a hell of a disorder to live with, I know, so just keep toughing it out, going to therapy, and taking your medication. Try to make her understand but some people just aren't capable of it so it might be time to separate.
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First thank you now that we're done kissin ass get rid of the mess there making you worse Secondly it's not that your playing games it's more then likely she is on an unconscious level jealous of it destiny is getting your time not her. Advice: make her dinner and eat with her aka take an hour or two out, eat dinner watch some Netflix you do this her tune will change and so will yours next thing ya know you two will be making beautiful music. On a serious note thank you I've lost a lot a good friends over there and well idk good luck and we'll see you in the tower
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Semper fi brother. Go through you chain of command with this.
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You deserve to play bro! You do you're part. I dont understand it either, you do everything you can but if you dont spend every hour of everyday at their beck and call you are wrong, you spend more than an hour at a friends house and you have hell to pay. One guy on this forum said he cant even have a female fireteam member without his GF calling him a cheater. I know not all women are like this but there are a lot of crazy ones. You my veteran friend are in a bind, you either have to A. come to some kind of compromise with her which will be very hard to do from my experience or B. breakup with her which is probably something you dont want to do. Option C would be just doing what she want which means no more playing video games because she probably wants you to just sit on the couch and watch the awe-full tv shows that she wants to watch. Me personally, im an option B kind of guy because i dont like being told what i "have" to do, but i do not know your girlfriend/wife/whatever and theres a good chance that you can come to a compromise with her. Maybe play while she sleeps. You could just ignore what she wants and keep playing, its like when you have an annoying bird, eventually you get to a point where you can be sitting right in front of them and you dont even hear the annoying sounds.
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Edited by Undefined: 1/30/2015 7:04:20 PMOh, wow, you made a thread about it too...here buddy, honesty, the fact that you do all of that and you conceded to sleeping on the couch because of a rightly upset woman who cares enough to give a shit about how you spend your free time, makes me wish I knew more guys like you. But let's be real, there's nothing balanced and moderate about sitting 7 to 8 hours straights doing ANYTHING, especially anything non-obligatory (aka job). You can name that vegetating on the couch for 7 hours straight, gardening for 7 hours straight, gaming for 7 full hours--it is bound to upset someone if you live with company. If you do this very often, you need re-evaluate how you prioritize the people in your life. Time is more precious than money these days, both are up there, but time is most essential. If you do it once or twice for a head-start event or something, let your significant others and closest of kin know. If you keep doing it, then you really need to start to admit you have an addiction. It's better than drugs, sure, but it's still an addiction that needs to be moderated. You also need to be on top of your condition with professional help, and have extra curricular activities that involve more on face social interaction. Sub'ing one addiction with another won't really help you on the long run, even if one of the two is seemingly bodily harmless. [quote]To the people who think im throwing a pity party, i am truely sorry you view service members with such low regards.[/quote] I appreciate your service, but please don't use that to justify actions you take in life that has nothing to do with serving your country. Your biology and potential psychological behavior shares the same needs as that of a civilian, and both are perfectly capable of "throwing a pity party". [spoiler]Also, #community or #offtopic[/spoiler]
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I hope you get the advice your looking for here. Personally this is the last place I'd look for advice. Too many immature punks on this forum for me to go to for advice. Hope you get positive responses here.
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So far, im not sure why a lot of people are complaining about this guys post. Personally, this is the best post on here because its so personal. Every other post on the destiny forums is just a complete whine fest. This is just pure emotion and someone seeking help and everyone on here is supporting this guy and giving him advice and that's what a community is about and it's amazing. Personally man, u should probably talk with ur wife and give her more time, but i wish u and ur family the best of luck. I hope u cope well with PTSD and find happiness in ur marriage, and most of all, thank u for ur service, as with anyone else who was in the military.
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Thank you for your service sir you should be able to do whatever you want to
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It is good that you found a more positive outlet for your PTSD than drinking. If your wife is getting upset try inviting her to give it a try and explain how it helps you. Offer to watch one of her shows or take her out for a date. You watching an episode of the Bachelor or Grey's Anatomy will go a long way. Show interest in her and what she likes, and she will the same for you.
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11 RepliesEdited by ragincajunnugz: 1/30/2015 5:40:00 PMMilitary wives are low-tier wives. Their only skills are: Burning food, cheating on their husbands, complaining about everything, and saying, "Do you even KNOW who my husband IS!?!?!?" Source: Experience.
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Ummmmmmm, yeah you're in the wrong. Playing for 7 straight hours and ignoring your significant other is a bit ridiculous. Buying someone nice things doesn't mean shit in a relationship but shows how shallow you believe the relationship is, that believing you can simply use money to make her happy. Unplug, hang out with her/him/whatever.
