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Edited by I SLAY Z0MBIES:
1/31/2015 1:26:11 AM
566
Thanks for the support. Too much negativity.
The negativity is too strong. Thanks for the positive feedback. Honestly didn't think i'd get this many responses.
English
#Destiny
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Always put her first if she is more than just a girlfriend. I play almost all day but I quit anytime my fiancé wants to do anything with me. And if she doesn't then I will put it down myself and make sure I am giving her attention. Furthermore I have adamantly stated that she has my full support in selling Destiny and even the ps4 all together if she would like or I she feels like it is taking me from her. :) we love eachother and she is fully supportive of me.
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As one soldier to another (from across the pond) i can safely say your doing nothing wrong here dude. As the old saying goes .... There is nothing more dangerous than a bored soldier, and from my experience I find this game seems to do alot of therapeutic mind trickery that keeps us happy while we play it as well as wanting to come back to get our 'fix'. It tends to resolve a few issuses soldiers in particular are prone to get themselves into such as bordom in general, the desire to perfect something, even a gambling 'high' when you get that little exotic treat. For myself and a few other of my army mates, we tend to play destiny for long periods of time not because we are avid gamers or super hardcore, but because its a secondary thing that keeps our minds at bay in the background while we deal with the stresses of the day and the important stuff that this job demands of us. If we dont have stuff like this we end up going out looking for that same level of intrerest elsewhere, which usually lands us in the shit! From the sounds of things, I think this game has given your brain the routine fix its been looking for, try to remember though dude this is still a GAME. And its your loved ones that are gonna carry you through when times get tough. If your on psn dude add my username:waitey85 We can get our 'fix' together haha
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1 Replyyour girl should always be more important than a game bro
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When it's all said and done... If you were at the hospital.. Do you think the case is gonna be by your side holding your hand when your feeling down? Take some time away from the game for your girl... Don't burn bridges for a temporary thing like a game.
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Four time combat vet that was in ( chair force, lol) air force, security forces member. Have PTSD with nightmares and can't sleep well and all video games help me take my mind off my dreams, but my wife says the same thing! Lol But, she just deals with it as long as I spend time with her as well. Lol
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She just wants to know that she is more important to you than a video game. If she is, then your actions will speak louder to her than your words. You have to act quickly, because if you don't - you know there's some Jody out there who will recognize her damaged emotional state and swoop in and all over that. It'll be too late. But hell, that Jody will free you up for plenty of Destiny time.
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My only advice to you is to stay with the therapy. It is and will be one of the most difficult things you can do, not physically but mentally challenging yourself and the way you perceive the world, the way you think, your judgement of yourself and more that you can only understand once your in therapy and out the other side. Trust your therapist to guide you through the difficult process, yes there are going to be sessions were you come out worse than when you went in but I promise it will be worth it. As a psychotherapist myself I have seen a lot but those who trust and stick through often come out more positive on the other side.
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If you love her and want to stay with her you need to take some time off the game bro. I agree with you and was in a similar situation years ago. My ex and I had been together for 5 years and I was stuck on guild wars (of game) and gears of war 1. Of coarse I was prob a little worse then you. I played for 16hrs straight on days off sometimes. But I did the same as you. Loved her took care of her and the house and everything but it still wasn't enough for her. To her she was coming 2nd to a game and to be fair she was right. I rushed everything to get back to the games I loved... I'll tell you at least in this game you can afford to take a break. Now I didn't bother looking at your profile or stats but I've been playing since day one and have every exotic almost all 3 guys o lvl 32. (Warlock just has gear to lvl). Anyways I'm so burnt out in the game with nothing left to do. Now I just log on reset day do everything in the first two-three days and take a break and I'd suggest you do the same if you wna keep her bro. It's tough but you will eventually lose her unless you change. Gl man Rly
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I have several friends that in the same boat as you. Respect
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Thanks for your service and I hope all goes well with your recovery. Maybe your lady needs to spend some time with other spouses of vets to see that Destiny is probably the best way to cope with your past compared to the grief others suffer without distractions.
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Good luck with your PTSD and Alcohol battle.
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Women hate video games. Nothing new.
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Not calling you a fake, but i would need to see the situation firsthand to help. Idk.
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Edited by Tiingy: 1/31/2015 12:41:47 AMYou're asking Destiny nerds if it's okay to be a Destiny nerd... The answer is always yes. Might aswell ask a meth addict if it's Algood to smoke meth
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Dude same boat, minus alcohol. I quit that a few years back when I had a kid. I was with ii mef.
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happy wife happy life once shes happy again ul find shell give u more gamer time
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3 RepliesHey Marine. Sorry about your current struggles. Hang in there and stay in therapy and on whatever meds you take. You are a Marine and you can conquer this struggle. Only advice I can give you is try to give some quality time to your wife along with your gaming time. You can find a way to do this. Talk to her about it. Semper Fi, from a sailor
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3 RepliesYou know, I hear the VA can help.
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1 ReplyHey there! I'm not an expert, just a guy with a shitload of work, but I think at some point every guy feels like this. I believe you need to balance. I personally believe the key to have a feeling of fulfillment is to understand priorities. Communication is the key to a successful relationship. Sometimes I feel my wife doesn't understand my enthusiasm for childish stuff like skateboarding and videogames (I'm 32) and guess what? IT'S OK, she's ANOTHER PERSON and I will never ever understand her pasion for shoes. But she needs your attention. Lots of it. Try telling her the things you feel bad about: drinking, your disorder, some stuff that drives you away from her... And of course be self-critic and ask her what pushes her away from you. Try reaching consensus. Try making schedules or spend some free time with her. Hold her hand, cuddle, do that wuss stuff women like. No one's watching. And of course ask her for space, everyone needs it. I gave her a bell that reads "kiss me" and keeps it on the night table; whenever she feels left aside, she rings it and I will come to bed and kiss her, no matter what I'm doing (yup, it's online, it will ruin your stats, but remember after all IT'S JUST A GAME! It will shut down if power is down, but she'll never shut up even when the lights are off). Priorities dude: family, yourself, work. No other way has proven to male anyone happy.
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What you do is snatch her by the ankles, whip out your manhood and put her to sleep. I never get any complaints when she wakes up and im playing destiny
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IDK if this is the proper forum to find the help your looking for not tryin to be a meanyhead.
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Maybe cut down the hours you play some times. she is basically feeling unwanted or needed that you care more about the game then her and buying things does not cover that either. Some women are insecure enough that they need constant attention and when dont get it get upset.
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is there anyway you could have her join in the experience too? if at all possible you should try to make it a bonding experience rather than a social retreat, there's nothing wrong with coping with your experiences, but you also gotta try to make sure that emotional scar doesn't permanently cripple you. the alcoholism thing is beyond my advice though.
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Edited by x_Diamond_Dog-_x: 1/31/2015 12:03:45 AMI kind of respect you as person for fighting but theres no need for the properganda video. There's a time and place for such things and this isn't it. So destiny?? take it from me these forums have been full if posts like yours : " My wife hates me because destiny is my new girl " blah blah blah. Be warned this game is very addictive it's not suitable for people with a addictive personality. It gets in youre head and -blam!-s your life up. Trust me I know and only now that I'm bored if the game I can notice it more. Grinding shit and thinking " this isn't fun, why am I even doing this???. Just get that monte or Suros I'm wasting my life??? . I and many others have been in the same destiny shoes as you. Don't let this game become your life bro your wides mad because she cares. She could say " Yeh play your games " while she messes about ( not saying she would) . My girls the same she hates me playing ps4, because she doesn't want me wasting my life but I play a few hours a day. Like I said it's only because they give a shit.
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Edited by Gos Maul: 1/31/2015 12:01:43 AMMy Girlfriend and I ran into the same issue, Although I don't have PTSD or alcohol use disorder. She would get upset because I play Destiny more often than not. So I thought this would be the end of our relationship. When she found out how much she loves to read anime I bought her a tablet. She downloaded a app so she can read almost any anime ever wrote, and now when I play Destiny she will sit on the couch with me and read her tablet, so this way we get to spend time together doing things we love.
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I don't agree with a lot of things when it comes to the military and I also have no clue what ptsd is like, however you sound like you have an addictive personality, I do too...I try to guide that addiction towards multiple things, like working out, which you can do with your significant other, get some bikes and go mountain biking.. I mean if you really like this girl why not make time? You can always set a schedule like Thursday's I want to play for 7 hours straight and don't bother me, but Friday's I will be with you for 7 hours straight and won't even think about the game..
