*lots of Guardians sat in a chapel, wearing their best armour (can't be looking scruffy in Church now!)*
*me, a pasty white guy in Priest robes appears, but has the voice of a black man*
ahem.
good morning, my brothers and sisters, to this sermon. I'll keep it short as I know many of you have to do the work of our lord and saviour RNGsus, so today I will recite with you the Ten Commandments bestowed upon us by the lord. please turn to page 1337 in your RNBible.
*everyone turns pages*
1. Thou shalt not cry nerf.
2. Thou shalt not Teabag without consent.
3. Thou shalt not proclaim one class as above the others; we are all equal in the eyes of our lord and saviour RNGsus.
4. Thou shalt show respect to new Guardians, for their roads are long and weary, just like ours was.
5. Thou shalt not worship the Devil that is Master Rahool, and shall deny him if he asks you unto temptation.
6. Thou shalt not claim Xur as a false god. he is still one of RNGsus' flock, nothing more, but blessed he is among us.
7. Thou shalt strike back against the Darkness that haunts our worlds, and is the work of the Cryptarch.
8. Thou shalt not claim they earned their blessings through work alone; it is the will of RNGsus that blesses us all.
9. thou Shalt not grief other Guardians, less they be in the Crucible, or acting like an imbecile
10. all shall have fun in the name of RNGsus, for that is his wish.
Amen.
can I get a HAAALELUUUJAH!?
*everyone HAALELLUJAHS*
that concludes today's service. please don't be afraid to leave a Strange Coin in the collection Plate, we need a new roof after the Cryptarch-devil struck it with lightning.
"shoot straight and true, for he who sprays and prays is a scrublord"
- RNGsus quote, verse 13:37
Church Edit: 20 of you have shown true faith in RNGsus! HALLELUUJAH
Church Edit 2: TRENDING! HAAAALELUUUJAH!
Another Church Edit: one of our flock, ArchNinja64, would like us to remember the prayer to our lord and saviour, and so I will place it here:
RNGsus, hallowed be thy name. Thy digits come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in the Tower. Give us this day our daily shards. And forgive us our dismantles, as we forgive those who have dismantled before us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the Cryptarch. For thine is the loot table, the engrams, and the luck, forever and ever.
Amen.
Church edit again: over 200 likes! thankyou, my brothers and sisters! haven't been able to do the lords work due to terrible internet connection, so this has really cheered me up! GJALLARLUJAH! and may everyone be blessed by the Lord!
Final Church Edit: 300 likes oh mah lawd!! RNGsus smiles upon each and every one of you, may you all be blessed with the Exotic you desire! this priest is off to sleep, I will respond to further comments tomorrow. I must be up early tomorrow. been trending for ages! GJALLALUJAHH!
English
#Destiny
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pretty neat... praise rngesus
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1 Replyif xur is part of the RNGesus flock does that mean he is an angel?
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#8 lmao
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Edited by j lew1s: 1/16/2015 2:57:58 AMPraise the Lord RNGesus may he smile on all true believers. Awesome post many a lol :)
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Bump you dead ass made my day lmao
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To all who oppose this true religion may you burn in the depths of the Dark Below...love it good job sir
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30 RepliesWell, nobody else has said it yet... I know you're joking, but I'm a Christian and the whole thing makes me uncomfortable. Just felt like voicing my opinion. I'm probably not the only one who feels this way, but a lot of people don't want to put up with the condescension. I'm sure there will be plenty of examples in the replies. [spoiler]I hope I'm wrong, but as with all of my hopes for this game, I'm not holding my breath.[/spoiler]
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2 RepliesPlease, please let this new awesome religion overthrow Christianity! I would actually come to church every sunday.
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1 ReplyEdited by Khardius: 1/15/2015 11:15:14 PMBrother Torgue, None must forget that the stranger is the cryptarch's harbinger of doom, for not only she takes you away from your brothers' side when y'all praising RNGesus, as she also gives you something that mocks you and our Lord! I'd gladly give my strange coins to our cause but Xur, the false prophet, has been steadily taking them away from me week after week. One must not disregard the possibility that he is falsely working on RNGesus behalf, while actually depriving us from our hard earned coins, obtained through our Lord's blessing! To give them to the cryptarch I say! May the light guide us all as we fight the darkness, for in our ignorance we are still totally lost as for what it really is. Bless y'all brothers!
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Thou shall not teabag another's kill
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29 RepliesEdited by me2ez: 1/16/2015 1:00:08 AMWhy is this trending, I hate that my comment is helping but seriously... Destiny 10 commandments? Are we like 10 year olds or somethin? None of this stuff in your little cry for attention is even funny. #downvote #let-logical-threads-trend-only
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1 ReplyStopped reading as soon as you were racist
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lol nice xD
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Lies...
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Edited by Nate: 1/16/2015 12:55:41 AM*set fire to a Bronze Jar* To the RNGesus! *drops steak into fire* [spoiler]Greek praise to a videogame Deity FTW.[/spoiler]
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Edited by JuanTheBeaver: 1/16/2015 12:48:48 AMGJALLARLUJAH
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Epic! That Is all.
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1 ReplyAre we in the bible belt?
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this is amazing
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Edited by Ra3zor0: 1/16/2015 12:32:00 AMI think RNGesus might like me cause today i did vog for the first time on normal. Got 'Patience and Time' (Exotic sniper). HAAALELUUUJAH!
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And that was when he realized. He had better things to do then go on the forums.
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2 RepliesI think I'm hating this forum more and more everyday!
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Edited by GlacierJX: 1/16/2015 12:17:25 AMFather TORGUE, i have found the way, read of my encounter with the Mighty RNGesus!
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2 RepliesRNGeus had given me his blessing on a hard mode vault of glass run, in the end I got all the things from hard mode that I wanted at the end including the helmet Mythoclast The ship And as a bonus A last word
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1 Replylol, he who sprays and prays is a scrublord