{{
`${userDetail.user.displayName}${userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode ? `#${standardizeBungieGlobalCode(userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode)}` : ""}`}}
{{getUserClans()}}
11/30/2014 3:07:53 AM
51
What is the correct way to pray to RNGesus?
I would like to know the proper procedure I need to take to successfully please our almighty deity RNGesus.
English
#Destiny
-
Our heavenly RNGesus, Hallowed be thy name. Thy random come, your will be done, On Earth as it is on Venus. Give us this day our rare engrams, And forgive us our anger, As we forgive those who don't drop legendaries. And lead us not toward the Raid, For your power is too great there. For thine is the random, and the lucky forever, Amen.
-
Unzip it's pants and just do what you would normally do in that situation........ Yell -blam!- and blackmail it for a gjallarhorn.
-
Bend over and spread your butt
-
1) Remove clothing 2) get on your hands and knees 3) Warm bottle of lube 4) Let RNGesus preform a prostate exam on you with no hands 5) cry in a ball after he's done because he didn't give you anything for all the punishment you endured.
-
If I have already completed the raid and am helping out buddies, I'll make sure to dance upon the unopened chest and fire a Gjallarhorn rocket into the floor and sacrifice myself in efforts for better drops.
-
1 ReplySacrifice a virgin
-
2 RepliesYou pray through sacrificing time...strikes and crucible.
-
Rub one out before the raid, as you release, yell out hallelujah!!! And don't wash your hands... That's where the RNG luck resides!
-
You have to sacrifice goats to RNGesus. However, these can't be just regular goats. They must be pure goats (fed only green grass since birth). Moreover, you must mark them with the proper symbols (these change every day of the year) with the proper paint (this changes every week on Wednesday) which must be first blessed by the Westboro Baptist Church, Satan worshippers, a Rabbi, and a Wiccan. Finally, you must slit their throats without letting a single drop of blood fall to the floor or else you will have ruined your ritual and must restart.
-
Stick ur dick in ur destiny disc
-
On your knees.
-
RNGesus doesn't have time for your problems. RNGesus helps those who help themselves.
-
Two words: Autoerotic Asphyxiation
-
2 RepliesYou can PayPal me $20 so I can tell you that your luck will increase. [spoiler]I own you[/spoiler]
-
Defeat his enemies by destroying them in a freestyle battle.
-
Bring Him milk and cookies
-
Sacrifice a dreg virgin Spin in a circle 4 times while chanting the name of the Elder Gods (I prefer Cthulu myself as he is more reliable) Fall on the floor and spasm your body enough to break various items Stand back up, bend over in front of the TV and whisper, "My body is ready...." Rejoice as the next day after being butt-blam!-ed by a primalized octopus face, you have the exotic you wanted. Repeat as needed
-
3 RepliesShould I murder Master Rahool and eat his liver?
-
Expect nothing, get everything
-
Become an Atheoneist and you will be blessed with exotic drops in the raid lol
-
1 ReplyOkay, it's all in the technique! First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times. One, two, three. Then pelvic thrust. Whooooooo, whooooooo. Stop on your right foot, don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town. Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, then this, then that, then this and that, and then... You blow the bubble of whatever you want.
-
Bend down. Grab ankles.
-
Sacrificing mass amounts of blue engrams to the cryptarch and weekley raid runs.
-
Sacrifice a small child
-
Give Bungie a PBJ
-
Slaughter thousands of aliens or simply compete in the crucible. These are the only acceptable prayers.
