Hunter:
You are a Hunter. Brash and flashy. You saw this class and it gave you a bountyhunter-y feel. You obsess over your hood and you would be pissed if your melee didn't involve a knife. You're either dead silent or too damn loud. There's a 60% chance your character is a female because you might be a little sexually confused, but you don't tell anyone that. You insist their hit box is smaller than the male body type as an excuse. You often jump into a horde of enemies with knife drawn, only to be revived by your Titan brethren. You rock the hand cannon, but you can't hit diddly-squat, so you switch to auto rifle when no one is looking. You insist you're precise, but you'd trade your sniper for a shotgun any day. Unless it's icebreaker. That thing is beast. Nothing will stop you from dancing when you capture the flag. Oh yes, you also insist you're the most skillful, but you mash buttons repeatedly, taking out an entire enemy of teams with a lightning blade. But it's okay. You have a cool cape! Does it come in men's sizes?
Titan:
You are a Titan. Self-reliant and strong. Your lack of personality and overload of testosterone made you pick the armored-warrior class. Your girlfriend is your right hand, and she's jealous of how much attention your enemies face gets with that right hand punch. When the going gets tough, you blame the Hunter for, well, being a Hunter, and blame the Warlock for not being a Titan. You lead your fireteam into the vault like Colonel Custer himself. You ask the Warlocks to push Atehon off, and then complain after the raid about how no one wants to do the raid legitimately. Your IQ is the length of your penis in inches + the amount of days you've spent playing crucible divided by your age. You dominate with your supers in crucible, but you're exotic weaponry is enough to take care of people. Everyone envies your armor, but without shaders, you'd just be another storm trooper. Are the Vex the droids you are looking for?
Warlock:
You are a Warlock. Powerful and intelligent. You don't go for capes or armor, you want that bathrobe. Your wide range of magical abilities makes your guns look like a pea-shooter, and you complain that's what your gun feels like. You've convinced yourself that you're higher up than the Titan because he's intellectually inferior, and you think the Hunter might be trying to get into your face, so you decide to silently judge them much like a [url=http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law]-godwinslaw!-[/url] or Simon Cowell. There's a 50% chance your an Exo, and a 50% chance you're a huge geek. You lack the Hunter's bravery to dive into battle and the Titan's bravery to go revive him, so you place it chicken and self revive when necessary. That self revive does come in handy when giving the enemy a free extra kill in the crucible. You're considered a noob for pushing Atehon off the edge, but you must be skillful if it took you 30 damn minutes to finally get it right and push him off. You could be described as that one awkward guy that fantasizes a lot and there's a 19% chance you'd wear a fedora. Nice Warlocks finish last, don't they Neo?
BONUS- The Destiny Player:
You spent your cold hard (parents cash or child's college money) earnings on this incomplete game, and you're fine with that. You honestly expect to get random exotics, but that won't happen. You either enjoy Peter Dinklage's voice acting or gave this game a 4/10 on gamespot. When you finally do get an exotic you hold it close, and when Xur sells it you cry out loud for it to be nerfed, much like a small child begging for candy in a grocery store. You either enjoy Doritos or don't play this game enough. You think your posts on the forum will actually matter, but only other kids on at 11 PM will care. Thank god this game wasn't rated M right? You were upset by the expansion pack being sold the same day as the game, but you bought it anyways...didn't you squidward?
I hope you enjoyed this little joke. Feel free to add your own stereotypes below. Try not to argue too much, remember it's all just a joke. We should all be more comfortable bashing each other's class instead of crying about it on the forums. Thanks for reading!
English
#Destiny
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Actually, I quite enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing! Unfortunately I don't have anything to add. Also, my warlock isn't an Exo... but I imagine Awoken accounts for the other 45%.
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Thaaats a low blow.
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Well I'm happy I don't fit the Warlocks stereotype, I usually am the guy who revives others and stands in the front of the fight... and awckwardly enough I revive Titans... enough to make it a hobby (no offense Titan players).
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"You spent your cold hard (kid's college money)." Lol. God dammit man.
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Im using all three classes... OH, Wait I need to pay a visit to my psychiatrist..
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As a Titan, I can say happily that I fit none of these stereotypes.
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i don't see any class system in destiny the only difference is their supers
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I love how I fit into absolutely none of these, but lol!
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10/10
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Yep pretty spot on! Lol
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XD, I am warlock, and in real life I like wearing my bath robe..... it is warm and comfortable, and I didn't push atheon off le ledge, but yea this topic is funny, I cannot wait to see what people add to it :3
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4 Repliesbut when i pick my hunter lady it's cause I like looking at females... don't know about the rest though
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3 RepliesEdited by k0oLAiD_: 11/8/2014 10:46:59 PMYou know why I hate you? [spoiler]Im a Hunter and your description is very close...I am a female, I am the most skilled, my cape is badass, I like hand cannons but the auto rifle is just so stronk, and I dance every time I capture a flag [/spoiler]
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Edited by Trollefix: 11/8/2014 11:36:42 PMThat was fun to read and some of it quite accurate :) Im a Hunter and i run guns blazing into a hord of enemies trying to get as many as possible to follow me into death..well, until I'm revived by another player. I also jump golden gun blazing into a horde just to revive a friend and 4/10 times end up dying myself :D That blue X and orb tugs on a hunters heart. A friend needs to be revived, at any cost.
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And one like for you. That's a legendary engram waiting to be opened.
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I'm glad that I match only 5 of the Stereotypical Hunter remarks you made.
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3 RepliesWarlock: Secretly wish they would have been born a titan. They love to charge first into the fray...after all thier dusters are op compared to titans plate gear. And besides, if anything goes wrong... they can self-res. *yes, I love the warlock class
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(23 in + 125 days)/1 years old = I'm the smartest titan ever
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My group/clan is actually called "wears a fedora"
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Plot twist: OP hates hunters but no matter, I hate warlocks too
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I'm pretty ballsy for a Warlock, and, yes, I did it for the bathrobe.
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I think I'm having an identity crisis. I'm a hunter who wants to be a Warlock ... *needs help*
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6 RepliesI rolled reet to the Titan oroskope. I aint been dun PvP afta beta; so doin my number skillz, I got me a I.Q. of 2194 .. I dunt think that reetly werx with me lettahz. They been betta :)
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I hate to admit, but everything you said is pretty spot on.
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I did enjoy this parody! I just hope nobody takes it to heart. I was doing something like this, pointing out the good and bad about each class and the personalities of the players who use them, but I was trying to be sincere about it all.
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LMAO pretty accurate. My warlock is an exo and I'm a huge geek. I will do everything I can to revive a teammate (unless they just died trying to melee a boss) and try to save my rez for just such an occasion. Hunters are too brash to be effective combatants and titans are only good as bullet sponges to draw aggro while I take credit for the kill.