Hunter:
You are a Hunter. Brash and flashy. You saw this class and it gave you a bountyhunter-y feel. You obsess over your hood and you would be pissed if your melee didn't involve a knife. You're either dead silent or too damn loud. There's a 60% chance your character is a female because you might be a little sexually confused, but you don't tell anyone that. You insist their hit box is smaller than the male body type as an excuse. You often jump into a horde of enemies with knife drawn, only to be revived by your Titan brethren. You rock the hand cannon, but you can't hit diddly-squat, so you switch to auto rifle when no one is looking. You insist you're precise, but you'd trade your sniper for a shotgun any day. Unless it's icebreaker. That thing is beast. Nothing will stop you from dancing when you capture the flag. Oh yes, you also insist you're the most skillful, but you mash buttons repeatedly, taking out an entire enemy of teams with a lightning blade. But it's okay. You have a cool cape! Does it come in men's sizes?
Titan:
You are a Titan. Self-reliant and strong. Your lack of personality and overload of testosterone made you pick the armored-warrior class. Your girlfriend is your right hand, and she's jealous of how much attention your enemies face gets with that right hand punch. When the going gets tough, you blame the Hunter for, well, being a Hunter, and blame the Warlock for not being a Titan. You lead your fireteam into the vault like Colonel Custer himself. You ask the Warlocks to push Atehon off, and then complain after the raid about how no one wants to do the raid legitimately. Your IQ is the length of your penis in inches + the amount of days you've spent playing crucible divided by your age. You dominate with your supers in crucible, but you're exotic weaponry is enough to take care of people. Everyone envies your armor, but without shaders, you'd just be another storm trooper. Are the Vex the droids you are looking for?
Warlock:
You are a Warlock. Powerful and intelligent. You don't go for capes or armor, you want that bathrobe. Your wide range of magical abilities makes your guns look like a pea-shooter, and you complain that's what your gun feels like. You've convinced yourself that you're higher up than the Titan because he's intellectually inferior, and you think the Hunter might be trying to get into your face, so you decide to silently judge them much like a [url=http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law]-godwinslaw!-[/url] or Simon Cowell. There's a 50% chance your an Exo, and a 50% chance you're a huge geek. You lack the Hunter's bravery to dive into battle and the Titan's bravery to go revive him, so you place it chicken and self revive when necessary. That self revive does come in handy when giving the enemy a free extra kill in the crucible. You're considered a noob for pushing Atehon off the edge, but you must be skillful if it took you 30 damn minutes to finally get it right and push him off. You could be described as that one awkward guy that fantasizes a lot and there's a 19% chance you'd wear a fedora. Nice Warlocks finish last, don't they Neo?
BONUS- The Destiny Player:
You spent your cold hard (parents cash or child's college money) earnings on this incomplete game, and you're fine with that. You honestly expect to get random exotics, but that won't happen. You either enjoy Peter Dinklage's voice acting or gave this game a 4/10 on gamespot. When you finally do get an exotic you hold it close, and when Xur sells it you cry out loud for it to be nerfed, much like a small child begging for candy in a grocery store. You either enjoy Doritos or don't play this game enough. You think your posts on the forum will actually matter, but only other kids on at 11 PM will care. Thank god this game wasn't rated M right? You were upset by the expansion pack being sold the same day as the game, but you bought it anyways...didn't you squidward?
I hope you enjoyed this little joke. Feel free to add your own stereotypes below. Try not to argue too much, remember it's all just a joke. We should all be more comfortable bashing each other's class instead of crying about it on the forums. Thanks for reading!
English
#Destiny
-
3 RepliesI main a Warlock. A lot of my friends IRL placed bets that I would start with a Titan but i am more of a space magic kinda guy. I am an ex-serviceman, and am currently working in the defense industry. So I would probably fit your stereotype of the Titan player, except that I am not. Also, I only play female characters. Just because I prefer to look at a chick on screen instead of seeing a dude whenever I am at the tower or viewing a cut scene. So yeah, your stereotypes are not very accurate.
-
Gunslingers got left out and the bubble titans
-
5 RepliesYou seem very sexually frustrated.
-
2 RepliesBut dude, the number of humans playing as exos? Who cares about gender! This is the true problem! NERF THE EXO!
-
4 RepliesStereotypes are not acceptable; you are in violation of Bungie's code of conduct. You have been reported.
-
That was great lol
-
I am a level 30 hunter, no cape (makeshift scarf) and The Last Word. I am ultimate I am eternal
-
Ahhahahahaha this is so true, but me personally, I don't even dream about auto rifles. I used to think I was amazing at auto rifles, thenn I went for the hand cannon and became beast! ANNNNNND NOW DESTINY EXPECTS ME AND MY BUDDY TO BE THE DARK AND THE LIGHT BECAUSE ME AND HIM GOT THE LAST WORD AND THORN AND WE'VE KNOWN EACHOTHER FOR A YEAR SO YEAH, HUGE RESPONSIBILITY
-
It's not a hood its a cloak gosh r u stupid lol jk
-
LMFAO
-
1 ReplyFunny
-
12 RepliesI'm surprised you missed the whole "supposedly useless in the Vault of Glass, even though we have the most kills on the team" thing about us Hunters.
-
hahaha awesomeness.
-
+1 Amusing enough
-
Haha loved it
-
Good read, gooood read :)
-
-
6 RepliesWhat about spongebob or patrick
-
As a bath robe wearing warlock, allow me to say
-
But thirst much?
-
I liked the hunter part, the first half is quite accurate.
-
"First, check your cloak for damage. Second, inspect yourself for major wounds." - Handbook of (Un)Controversial Advice That pretty much sums it up.
-
We all know why there are so many female hunters... Because there are all those sad boys out there and well... The hunter has the smallest pants
-
Followed. Well done!
-
Shit. I'm a Warlock and most of that was painfully accurate. At least I don't wear a fedora though, right?
-
This...this made my night.