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3/19/2008 3:26:01 AM
411
Purpose of this Thread
Everybody gather. I have been waiting a long time to do this. Now, I hope you all can bear with me as I explain the purpose of this thread.
You see, a long time ago, I found myself standing in a very large building. This very large building happened to house a can of peas. Upon viewing this can of peas that sat alone in a very large building, I decided to take it upon myself to eat these peas. But now I, standing in a very large building and looking at this lonely can of peas, found myself facing a conundrum. I had no can-opener!
Well, to make a long story short, I walked through the very large building and picked up the lonely can of peas and took them outside. I inquired of a strange old woman if she knew where I might find a can-opener. The strange old woman opened her eyes (for she had been walking with her eyes closed) and looked at me. I saw within the strange old woman's eyes something that had been troubling me for a very long time.
To make a long story short, what I saw in the strange old woman's eyes was the very dog who had chewed up my first baseball mitt. This very dog that chewed up my first baseball mitt had haunted my dreams for years, a phrase which, here means "troubled me greatly". I had spent those years, of which my dreams had been haunted by this very dog that chewed up my first baseball mitt, searching for the answer to why this very dog that I now saw in the strange old woman's eyes would chew up my first baseball mitt.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I saw the answer to my vexing question within this strange old woman's eyes. You see, the very dog that chewed up my first baseball mitt--the act of which having haunted my dreams for years--was only seen in one of the strange old woman's eyes. In the other was the answer to my question that had been vexing me ever since the very dog that chewed up my first baseball had begun haunting my dreams.
To make a long story short, the answer was written on a scroll that had been implanted in the strange old woman's cornea. I couldn't read the scroll, for it was very tiny, so I asked the strange old woman if I might borrow her eye. The strange old woman's reply to this rather blunt question was just as strange as the old woman.
To make a long story short, she said yes, but only if I carried the eye in a can of peas. I asked her why it needed to be carried in a can of peas, for a can of peas is not usually the thing one would use to carry an eye, plucked from the socket of a strange old woman. The strange old woman's reply to my rather obvious question was quite the opposite of obvious, and near synonymous with the word strange.
To make a long story short, the strange old woman told me that her eye--the very eye which carried the scroll (the scroll carrying the answer to my vexing question as to why the dog, the very dog which haunted my dreams, would chew my first baseball mitt)--must be carried in a can of peas because it was the only substance strong enough to hold the scroll. If I were to carry the eye, which carried the scroll, in anything but a can of peas, the message--and answer to my question about the very dog that chewed my first baseball mitt--would be lost forever.
Well, to make a long story short, I told the strange old woman that I had a can of peas, but I had no can-opener with which to open my can of peas. The strange old woman looked at the can of peas in my hands--the very can of peas that I had taken from the very large building in which this can of peas had first sat--and told me that I must find a can-opener as soon as possible.
[i][b]I'm sorry, but it appears that it is taking longer than I had first expected to explain the purpose of this thread. I will continue from here in a different post (a different post, yet posted in this very thread) and I will attempt to make the point of this thread clear to all who have had a strong desire to find said point. Please be patient, I'll try and make this very long story as short as possible.[/i][/b]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] GeneralPatton24 i'll give you a cookie if you tell us the pupose of this thread[/quote] We all should get cookies when he tells us.
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i'll give you a cookie if you tell us the pupose of this thread
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As soon as this is done I will save this all in MSword.
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O. M. G. How much longer is this going to be? I don't think it'll fit in just one blog/bulletin on MySpace... =(
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] GoW I Lord Hood *Glares* To make a long story short, the meaning of life is 42.[/quote]No, it's the answer to.
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*Glares* To make a long story short, the meaning of life is 42.
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I am happy to announce that the blue-coated zebra has been safely secured and the poachers are now trapped in a semi-delicious, but ultra-sticky substance. If I recall correctly, I was just telling you the question that I asked the strange old blind woman. So, after I asked her the question, the strange old blind woman scowled and started shuffling away again. She only spoke one word. The word which she spoke was so short and curt that I wasn't sure if she had actually spoken a word, or just grunted in an attempt to act like a cave woman. However, the look she gave me when she turned reassured me that she was, in fact, talking to me. To make a long story short, she told me to come. I wondered if, perhaps, she was having withdrawals from her dead dog, who I'm sure she said "come" to all the time. I was not particularly pleased at being treated like a dog, however, with the answer so near, I obeyed her command and followed obediently, if a bit petulantly, at her side. The strange old blind woman led me down a meandering path, which isn't to say that the path we took was meandering, for it was a straight road, but that the way the woman walked was meandering. For fear of angering her further, I chose to follow in the exact same meandering path she took, even attempting to shuffle my feet as she did, until I tripped over myself and quickly gave up that pursuit. It wasn't long (although by now I had noticed that the sky had grown lighter, signifying that the sun would soon be rising) before we approached something that I had not expected to see. In fact, my thoughts had drifted so far from this thing in the past hour that I could barely contain my surprised at seeing this thing. To make a long story short, we had returned to the very large building. The place where everything started was apparently the place where everything would be finished. Although, I could not be sure that this would be the place where everything would be finished, for this strange old blind woman was very strange indeed and may have just led me here because she enjoys looking at very large buildings. However, I deduced that this was not the case, for the strange old blind woman was, in fact, blind, and so could not look at very large buildings. The thought then entered my mind that perhaps this strange old blind woman [i]lived[/i] in the very large building, as so many other things seemed to live there, albeit inanimately so. Before I could ask her this question, she told me something unsettling, commanding, and unexpected. To make a long story short, the strange old blind woman told me to go inside the building and, in there, I would find the answer I was looking for. It was then that I asked her why she couldn't just tell me, or at least let me look at the scroll in her eye. She responded with a cryptic and rather infuriating statement that seemed to have been conjured only to get me to leave her alone. To make a long story short, the strange old blind woman told me that little details create the big picture. I am sure that you, the reader, have felt the same feeling of anger and frustration at not having received a straight answer from someone who claims to have something very important to tell you, and so you can certainly understand my frustration at this answer. I was so frustrated, in fact, that I threw my hands up in the air (an action that most would consider rash, for one never knows when a low flying bird or a spiked baseball may come flying through the air) and stomped off to the very large building. Only then did I realize that some familiar feelings were coming upon me. I couldn't put my finger on it, but what the strange old blind woman had said seemed to strike at my very heart. Of course, it wasn't physically striking my heart, for that could be painful and potentially fatal, but the phrase brought back to recollection a memory from my distant past. To make a long story short, I was having an epiphany. [i][b]I'm sorry, there is someone at the door. I will return shortly.[/i][/b]
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Ironicly,he kept saying "to make a long story short" and had a wall of text. weird places he travels to=lemony snickit ... [Edited on 03.21.2008 12:51 PM PDT]
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The purpose of this thread is rather perplexing. thus... ?
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DCNS336422 I have no idea what you just said. Can of peas, old woman? Do old women eat peas while sitting in The Flood Forum?[/quote]Then you didn't read the entire thing.
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I have no idea what you just said. Can of peas, old woman? Do old women eat peas while sitting in The Flood Forum?
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I see you looking at me like I'm crazy,BUT I'M NOT CRAZY!!!!!!!!YOU HEAR ME!!!!!!!!!!NOT CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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yeaaaaaaaaaaaa...
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Xysterial i fear that if i try to read all of those i might go insane therefore i will just wait and watch the others comments to make a long story short dont ask halifax to write it [/quote]...Evil...
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i fear that if i try to read all of those i might go insane therefore i will just wait and watch the others comments to make a long story short dont ask halifax to write it
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] GeneralPatton24 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] MindTsunami 77 AAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHH111!!1!!!1 FINISH IT HALIFAX!!!! *roundhouse kicks Patton in the face*[/quote] im sorry for punching you in the face *punches tsunami in the throught* BUT YOU DIDNT HAVE TO HIT ME TWICE. now we are even[/quote]*Backs away slowly, decides to call it quits* Halifax, hurry up with the next Post!
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I-Is it almost o-o....o-over? I need to know an ending!
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Have I ever mentioned that I love you?
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] MindTsunami 77 AAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHH111!!1!!!1 FINISH IT HALIFAX!!!! *roundhouse kicks Patton in the face*[/quote] im sorry for punching you in the face *punches tsunami in the throught* BUT YOU DIDNT HAVE TO HIT ME TWICE. now we are even
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Must. Resist. Killing. Urges.
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I'm sorry, I must be brief. It appears that the poachers I invited to the Zebra Awareness party were not as friendly as they pretended to be and are now attempting to steal the blue-coated zebra. I have moved the zebra to a safe location, but now I mus throw the poachers of the trail. I do not know when I will be able to post again, but I assure you I will try and wrap up my personal matters as soon as possible. That being said, I will leave you with something that may help you understand the purpose of this thread. [url=http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/44307000/jpg/_44307632_tinnedpeas270.jpg]Good luck.[/url]
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AAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHH111!!1!!!1 FINISH IT HALIFAX!!!! *roundhouse kicks Patton in the face*
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I can't begin to tell you how hard it is for me to summon the courage to tell you what the strange old woman said. I fear that shocking revelations should only be told in the most dire of situations and because of the importance that I tell you the purpose of this thread, I realized that the shocking revelation must be revealed no matter what the cost. To make a long story short, the strange old woman told me that the very dog that chewed up my first baseball mitt, yes even that very dog which haunted my dreams for years, was her dog. I cannot stress how sorry I am at what trauma this revelation may have caused you or anyone in the direct vicinity as you read this. I hope you understand now why it is so important that you know that the very dog that chewed up my first baseball mitt belonged to the strange old woman. I couldn't seem to find words to speak, so the strange old woman spoke instead, saying words just as shocking as the previous had been. To make a long story short, she told me that the eye with the scroll in it contained a phrase that she had learned long ago, and one that had stayed with her even after an Octopus rudely stuck a tentacle in both her eyes, forcing her to get these fake eyes. The scroll had suddenly lost all the meaning that I thought it held. Instead, a new question formed in my mind, one that might reveal all of the answers. I took great care in wording my question and slowly opened my mouth
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this is awesome.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] A Savage Sock [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] GeneralPatton24 IT......NEVER.......ENDS!!!!! *punches random person*[/quote]QFT BTW...this is so going on MySpace and Facebook when it finally does end... XD[/quote] Amen, Sock
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*rubs eye, punches patton in the face* CONTINUE STORY HALIFAX...NOW!! [Edited on 03.20.2008 8:58 PM PDT]
