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Edited by MalvOfAlaska:
9/22/2014 7:42:51 AM
87
The Cave's Prayer
Our Cave who art in Stone,
Hallowed be thy Adds.
Thy engrams come.
Thy will be farmed,
On Old Russia as it is on the Moon.
Give us this day our daily glimmer.
And forgive us our freeloading,
As we forgive those who grief us.
And lead us not into rage quitting
But deliver us from the Cryptarch.
For RNG is the kingdom,
and the legendaries, and the exotics,
for ever and ever.
Amen
Have you prayed to The Cave today?
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2 Replies
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2 RepliesIn the distance I see her womb open for me Ra-ta-ta-ta Her children swarm from within her depths Ra-ta-ta-ta With in her glow false hopes and empty promises Ra-ta-ta-ta I think is see some purple gleaming Ra-ta-ta-ta The Griefers have come to preach their heresy Ra-ta-ta-ta We move away, out their shield Ra-ta-ta-ta Her children have escaped Ra-ta-ta-ta We herd them back into oblivion Ra-ta-ta-ta My brothers and I sing praises Ra-ta-ta-ta [spoiler]It's a pulse rifle[/spoiler]
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12 RepliesI was only nine days old after my Ghost resurrected me from the dead. I loved the Cave so much, I owned many Engrams and Strange Coins from it. I pray to the Cave every night, thanking him for the Legendary items I have been given "Cave is love", I say, "Cave is life" The Speaker hears me and calls me a f_ggot He is obviously jealous of my devotion to the Cave I called him a c_nt He slaps me and sends me to my Tower quarters I am crying now, because my face hurts I go into my bed and it is very cold I feel a darkness moving towards me I feel something touch me It's a Knight from the Cave I am so happy He whispers into my ear, "This is my Cave" He grabs me with his powerful Hive hands and puts me on my hands and knees I'm ready I spread my ass cheeks for the Cave He penetrates my butthole It hurts so much, but I do it for the Cave I can feel my anus tearing as my eyes start to water I push against his force I want to please the Cave He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his glimmer The Speaker walks in The Knight looks him deep in the eyes and says, "It's all caved in now" He leaves on my Sparrow Cave is love, Cave is life
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1 ReplyShut the -blam!- up!! A cave prayer?!? What the -blam!- -blam!- -blam!- I'm gonna -blam!-
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You have violated the code of conduct, prepare to face ninja justice
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Go to the rocket yards there is another loot cave
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Bring the cave back!
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2 RepliesThe cave is dead. Hail Satan!!! -the end
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McCryptarch owns this comment. Give in your Engrams to be permitted access to see it.
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3 RepliesThere is a new cult. Cult of the garage. It's even more plentiful and giving!
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5 RepliesMy god, they formed a cult.
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1 ReplySo how many virgins was I supposed to sacrifice to rngesus again stopped at 3
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Your god is dead
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Edited by AjitatorX: 9/25/2014 7:08:47 PMThe cave shall never be forgotten! Let 9/25 go down in Desticave history as a day of mourning and sorrow. http://www.bungie.net/7_Hot-Fix---09252014/en/News/News?aid=12190
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2 RepliesWe must sacrifice the cryptarch and engrams shall fall from the heavens!
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This is the absolute best post I've read since launch. Excellent.
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13 RepliesSo you're the Pope, RNG is God and the cave is Jesus. I wonder who the cryptarch is...
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1 ReplyJoin me for a Cave worship session tonight! There will be much beer and 420s. Much food and many Loots. If anyone ancient enough has this game on 360. I am CyanidePwN Praise the Cave. Praise RNGesus, and Praise Cryptarch. The Holy Trinity of OP gear giving. Join me fellow Cave worshippers! Remember, in Hell, all in White and Green. Never will you see a Blue or Purple <3
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Where has our god gone?
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From launch until now, this is the best post that has been in #destiny.
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I laughed out loud. 10/10
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Jesus Christ this is gold
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1 ReplyEdited by Spaceman: 9/24/2014 1:22:37 AMSuch vast lands over multiple planets and moons.... yet you all camp a single cave in unified glory to blast poor spawning souls with little effort and much reward. Hey, at least you're working together to accomplish your dreams of becoming legendary. +1 for teamwork.
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Lost it at, "deliver us from Cryptarch". That mofo...
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6 RepliesDestiny: The Cave The social experience of a cave farming run is amazing: the herding to get a team of Guardians all behind the line and firing in the right direction, the rush to grab the loot, the scramble when the panic wave starts, the beckoning glow from inside the cave. The speed at which the community organized around this activity was inspiring and humbling to us. But shooting at a black hole for hours on end isn't our dream for how Destiny is played. Our hope is that social engagement in public spaces is only one part of the Destiny experience. Expect changes soon which decrease the efficiency of cave farming and correspondingly increase engram drops from completing activities.
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Man!!! I only found out about the cave yesterday. I had about half an hour with it. Now its gone. I went from all green to mostly blue in that time. It will be missed. I only had one legendary drop and it turned blue. Thanks Crypdick!
