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9/8/2014 9:29:38 PM
23
Pee stories
I personally haven't had any weird peeing or awkward moments. Awkward stories like you got hit by a car because you ran across the street to pee and peed your pants or just make a story up like dinosaurs or whatever.
*gurgles excitedly*
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Gurg-ump
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Nothing too exciting. One time my roommate and I were piss drunk, and he's stopping to say goodnight to his girlfriend and stuff, yadda -blam!-ing yadda, but I wanted to get home and chill. He's taking forever and I realize that I really have to pee. But there's nowhere around secluded and if a cop spotted me with the ol' meat hose out, underage drinking would be the least of my worries. So I did what any rational man would do; I sat down next to a statue, unzipped, and peed using the pressure to shoot out far enough to not hit me, but not so far out as to gather attention. Sometimes I amaze myself in these moments of sheer brilliance. Oh, and sometimes my pee hole clamps itself shut resulting in two simultaneous streams. That's never pretty, you can only aim one.
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We were visiting Oxford, we were on top of some tower, my brother couldn't hold his pee, pissed in a gargoyle
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My baby is due in two weeks. I have to pee every two hours or so. My cat comes with me because she feels like she has to watch me and take care of me.
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Once I was like 7 and me my mom and her friend were driving on a highway with no rests top for miles so I pee in a dunken donuts coffee cup and my moms friend says I'm her hero because I did that
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My grandma peed on the floor this morning and slipped in it and I almost threw up.
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When I was a sophomore in college, my roommate got so drunk he pissed in the microwave once.
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Before we had new doors fitted the handle on the one going into our lounge used to be extremely stiff; so stiff that only my dad could really open it, so we usually kept it open. Anyway one Friday me and my sis were back from school and we were playing a game in the lounge, charging round like the little kids that we were, and she goes to the door and closes it for some unfathomable reason that only a 4 year old could understand. Unluckily for me, I'd been holding in a load of piss all day and it was only then that my bladder decided to get annoyed about it. After about 5 minutes of frantic crying and clawing at the door handle, Dad came home and obliviously opened the door, just as my bladder gave up and exploded all over him.
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Edited by Pureey: 9/9/2014 3:26:02 PMMy older sister was lying down and resting on a suspended bench outside in the front yard. My cousin snuck up close to her, then unexpectedly peed all over her. She flipped shit. More specifically, him.
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I held in my pee for like 1O hours once There was a wad of toilet paper in the toilet and I peed so hard that I actually flushed it
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Yea I will step out of this thread so we don't get carpet banned
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1 ReplyOnce when I went to the school urinals, a little kid was using the one next to me and slipped and his head went in the urinal. I almost died trying to hold off my laugh.
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4 RepliesSo this guy and I get to the urinals at the same time (there are two open right next to each other so we were forced to pee right next to each other at the same time.) and about two seconds in a hear him moaning. Naturally I look over and he has his head thrown back, full body moaning. So like respectable human being, I moaned back. Full body moan to make sure I prove dominance as the alpha. Soon we got into a moan-off and everyone was staring at us like we were crazy. Sadly jr. ran out of juice so I had to stop and I lost all my honor.
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2 RepliesSo there I was mindin' my own business. When all-da-sudden I was struck by the urge to "relieve" me self. Well let's just say the whole state of Illinois knows my name. Heh heh...
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2 RepliesSo, this guy walks into a bar... And said "ow." Anyway, a velociraptor took a seat next to you while you were blinking, and he's inquiring about your first pseudo sexual experience with an imploring expression not unlike a helpful stranger on the bus asking if you're sitting in your own urine, or if you sat onto a puddle left from someone else.
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2 Replies:/)0[spoiler]youra crazy person [/spoiler]
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1 ReplyEdited by xRADIOACT1V3x: 9/9/2014 1:40:03 AMSo a trex walks up to me the other day and hands me tissues and lube and asked me to "help him" so I punched him right in his tiny arms.
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4 RepliesSometimes I forget that I have to go to the bathroom...... I'll tell everyone that I gotta go, then I get to bathroom and forget why I came. And then in like 3 hours I remember again and then I [u]really[/u] gotta go. Tada. Pee story. [b]The End[/b]
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I once went to shit... and i had my penis on my lap (don't remember why) and then i started peeing on myself... didn't realize it was happening until i felt a strange sense of relief... [spoiler]100% fictional... I do not own any of the characters in this story[/spoiler]
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2 RepliesOne time I was peeing in school and my friend came up and pantsed me. That was awkward.
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After doing a half gallon of cyclone with two friends shot for shot I passed out and barfed all over myself to wake up and see my friend naked peeing in the cat's water bowl. I said "dude go to the bathroom" And he looked me in the eye and said "I am in the bathroom, close the damn door!" No one cleaned anything up it was sick
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My cousin pissed on me when I was 5.
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1 ReplyThis dinosaur decided that he was gonna pee right in the middle of the road and all the cars ended up getting a free wash from the dinosaur pee.
