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7/14/2014 3:59:54 PM
6
I'm just going to go out on a limb here and take a guesstimate that you've talked to him over the phone. The best way to talk to somebody today is still by having a good old fashioned 1 on 1. He can't brush you off when you're there in person, not if you let him.
From the amount of times he's brushed you off, he's definately getting cold feet. But, what I'm about to say seems like the most likely outcome. If he's giving you this much trouble now, and even trying to avoid you, things likely aren't going to work out. You can approach him in person, and even force him to talk, but that will only agitate things further, leaving a bad taste in his mouth and yours.
You've got three choices. You can corner him in person until the barriers come down, and speak your mind and get him to speak his forcefully. You've get to get ballsey and make your point very clear on this one.
You can wait and endure things until he's ready to talk. Everybody has to talk sometime.
And third, which would be the hardest, is to leave his ass. You even said so yourself, if he started up with that crap you'd dump him. If you do dump him, and show him how damn serious you are about things, it might even prompt him to come out and start talking.
It doesn't sound like there's a nice way to go about things at this point. But the best out of all of those would be to hunker down and wait for him until he's ready to start talking. It's a difficult time for both parties involved, and no doubt, he's got his own fare share of thinking to do. His whole way of life will be changed because of this, and right now, he's sitting in a sort of flight or fight response mode. Right now, it seems like he's going for flight, but that may change if given enough time.
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All of our talks have been 1 on 1. I don't believe in hiding behind a phone.
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That's a good thing for starters. But if he's shrugging you off in person and you really want him to talk to you then you need yo put your foot down a little harder. Not in an insulting way, but something that gets the point home. Can you explain how he brushes you off? Does he just not speak and leave, or does he avoid things and change the subject?
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He changes the subject or goes on how I'm hormonal.
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Then he's ignoring things and using them as an excuse. Using the excuse that you're hormonal to deny excess love and care is a sack of shit thing to do. That dude sounds like a real piece of work, and if it were me, I would have ditched his ass. But I don't know the whole story, and it's you that has feelings and a relationship with him. So here's what you're gonna do. The next time you talk to him, and he tries changing the subject, point it out, right there. Shoot him down. And when he starts talking about how you're hormonal, tell him that shouldn't be an excuse to avoid you and deny you the care and attention you need right now. If he really cared, he'd put more effort in rather than avoid you. Every argument he throws your way, you tear it down with calm, reasoned logic. You don't act insulting. But you keep it casual, yet firm. He can't keep putting barriers up forever, and eventually, you'll break things down to the heart of things, which is what you want to do right?
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I like this plan.
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There ya go. You just gotta use your noggin and deconstruct things in a rational sense and show it to him. If you get any other stumpers for responses, come on back and we'll work things out piece by piece.
