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Edited by Otthild:
7/15/2014 4:09:21 AM
72
Flood, it's my turn for advice
Recently I got diagnosed with depression. Things have been, for lack of a better word, hard. Since that got pinned on me, I struggle to find happiness in my daily activities. I no longer find joy in tormenting all of you and my coworkers.
As I get closer to my due date, I notice my boyfriend getting more and more distant. He won't answer my messages or hold me like he used to. Usually I'm not all touchy, feely, and all that fgt shit, but for some reason it's really starting to bother me.
Anyways, I feel forgotten and cast aside. I told my boyfriend at the start of this relationship that if he was going to pull this shit he can go find someone else. But since I'm a bit attached right now (having his kid, yadayadayada), I can't seem to leave. Don't get my wrong guys, I love the -blam!-er. I just need more... attention, affection, and hell at least some acknowledgement. I've talked to him several times about this, but it seems to have fallen on deaf ears.
What would you do in this situation?
TL;DR: Otthild's ranting and wants advice on how to deal with a negligent significant other.
EDIT: Baby is going out for adoption.
EDIT #2: Guys, I have talked to him. I've talked to him a lot. He always brushes me off.
EDIT #3: Yes, I will be going to counseling for postpartum.
EDIT #4: Thank you for the advice guys. I'll try to apply it the best I can. Also, thank you for the limited amount of troll responses.
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The stupid lion says •^• hrmf....whimper.....(rolls over........ Cries
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OK, if he always brushes you off, then issue him an ultimatum: listen to you, or you leave. I know you're attached, but if your SO doesn't listen to you, then there's no point in being with them.
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Honestly, take a little control. You've put yourself in a situation where you are feeling totally submissive to the happenings around you. I'm sure you're feeling overwhelmed because you're thinking about it in a way that allows you to give up on such things. You were diagnosed with depression - okay. Understandable. Things are hard. But instead of letting the diagnosis control how you look at things and how you are, you should dismiss it and when something negative comes along, challenge yourself to find the light / good in the situation. Sort of like an exercise of sorts. As I have always told myself, and I hope others share the opinion: A man is not a father unless he is fathering. Same goes for a woman. A woman is not a mother unless she is mothering. What I mean by that is you should not have the expectation that he will become a father just because you had sex. It's not in his reality right now. You're carrying the baby, it's your reality. Now, I'm not condoning his type of approach on the situation because obviously I wouldn't want my to-be husband to act like that if I were pregnant. If he is not holding you, if he is not giving you affection - he's not feeling it. He's pushed himself away. Now, I don't know if he's mistreating you, or totally ignoring you, but I wouldn't put up with it. If it's as far as I think it has gone with you, I'd seek out my own happiness.
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Kick him to the curb. Simple.
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2 RepliesDepression Detected Solution: Moderate Intoxication
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[quote]Kick him to the curb. Simple.[/quote]
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THIS TIME YELL AT HIM WHEN YOU TALK TO HIM. SLAP HIM IF YOU NEED TO. IF THAT DOESN'T WORK HE CLEARLY DESERVES A KICK IN THE NUTS. WHAT DO WE DO WHEN SOMEONE DESERVES A KICK IN THE NUTS? WE GIVE IT TO THEM. SO MAKE HIM CRY. WHILE HE IS ON THE GROUND TALK TO HIM.
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2 RepliesQuit ur bitching pls
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That sucks. Not sure what I would do in this situation, since I can never be pregnant. He sounds like an asshat, though. Hopefully he'll wake up and see that a relationship requires two people putting in effort. If not, I hope you do the right thing and find someone who has the capacity to care for you the same way you care for them.
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Edited by Bäsil: 7/14/2014 6:14:33 PMI really feel you. I've been severely depressed for a long time now. The only thing I can tell you is to keep fighting with everything you have left; try your best not to sink any deeper. Don't let this boy make you feel worse. If he's not willing to be there for you when you need him the most, he's not worth it. Try talking to him about this at least one more time.
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3 Replies[quote]I just need more... attention[/quote] I would just dump you.
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I'm sorry, I do hope you feel better. If you went up to him and hugged him would he like push you away or not hug you back?
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Edited by Ingy: 7/14/2014 7:07:34 PM:[ I would hug you right now if I could
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10 RepliesEdited by Vien Quitonm: 7/14/2014 7:20:58 PMIf you need a hug, I will be here. My significant other has not spoken to me much since late May, and I feel similar. People are telling me to depart from him, but I cannot simply drop him like a rock. I know there are more fish out there, but he is the damned sea to me. Have you shown him how you feel?
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3 RepliesMake a sex
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I'm sorry to hear that. I wish I could give good advice but I've never been in a real relationship I normally get rejected. I also have depression and if you would like to talk about it I'll listen ^.^
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Stick it in his pooper
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Aw otty. Wish I could help.
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He just thinks you're kind of gross because you have a little person inside you, it's not because he doesn't love you. There was an episode of George Lopez about this, so I'm somewhat of an expert.
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6 RepliesMost guys don't show as much love for their significant other when they don't feel like they are getting the respect that they deserve. I'm thinking that your boyfriend is either wanting more respect from you, or he is scared of the idea of having a child to take care of (maybe both). Since you have a kid coming, your mind may be more focused on yourself than him, and he is starting to feel neglected as well. Note that this is all "maybes" and "ifs", please don't take offence if this is far from the truth, and you are giving him the respect her deserves. I would just suggest that you try and show that you respect him, and care about him, and that you realize that the baby might be stressful on him.
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Try to shoot the baby out like a canon ball. [spoiler]Boyfriend - I don't have enough information to make a proper assessment on your situation, but based off what I read, he may potentially be distancing himself from you because of the fact that a baby is going to be in your lives, and he's scared of the commitment. Keep in mind all of this is mere speculation, and should not be the foundation for actions. Whatever it may be, make sure that you meet face to face and talk about this, because this is a serious this. No matter how much he chooses to brush you off on this, there is no denying the fact that the future will come, and you have to be prepared. [/spoiler] [spoiler]The baby - I have no place to say what you do with the baby, but know that once the baby is put up for adoption, there is no going back. That baby was born from you, and you created that life. But if you feel you can't take care of that child, so be it.[/spoiler] [spoiler]Happiness - This is a topic that is often reoccurring in life. While many people say it is important to find happiness, I disagree. For you can live without it, but would you want to? Humans can find happiness anywhere and in anything. Why, should we not be happy for the mere fortune of living in a society of food, shelter, medicine, and security? But I digress, like a dear friend once told me; If you want happiness, you must claw your way through the rough to grasp it, even if it's just for a short time. I'm not sure if any of this will actually help at all, but know that if you need someone to talk to, i'm sure everyone here would be willing to help.[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyDo you actually NEED a significant other? There are plenty who manage without them.
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I can offer no advice other than to follow your heart but temper the feelings with experience. [spoiler]Also here's two anti-depression bunnies.[/spoiler]
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It shouldn't go out for adoption. You are fully capable of raising a child, we believe in you!
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1 ReplyI fight depression by celebrating hatred and rage, but I can't find a good reason to recommend that. I'm back on this site for a few months, so PM me if you want to vent about it. Sometimes it helps to organize your worries into a form you can communicate to others, and you wouldn't be the first person here I've done that for.
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Don't give up the bby, bby.[spoiler]I suggest doing something to take your mind off it all. Watch a good TV show like Breaking Bad, or the X-Files. Maybe play some video games? Distractions help to ease the burden at times.[/spoiler]
