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#satire

Edited by index: 11/7/2014 2:08:08 AM
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There should be a fee for kids under 17 years of age.

I want everybody to play Destiny, I really do. But it is a fact that children are immature and because of this, they often ruin the game for other players. It's not because they are bad people, I'm not saying that. It's because they are emotional, hot-headed, they think they know more than they do. This often causes a lot of conflict with other players who just want to have fun. The irrationality and immaturity of the children will clash with the seasoned gaming veteran. Now, I'm not saying kids should be banned from Destiny, I want them to enjoy it to. What I'm saying is that bungie takes measures to encourage the parents of children to supervise them and to teach them proper manners in online gaming. How does bungie do this you may ask? The kinect and playstation 4 camera are more than capable of reading faces and matching them up with public databases if the proper software is written for both of them. The cameras scan the children and match them up with a public record. If the child is found to be under the age of 17, an additional monthly fee of $10 will be required to allow them to play. If the fee is not paid, then they cannot play.This requires that the parents invest in the child, so the parents will not want their kids to screw it up, or else they risk being banned. Which would be a waste of money. Now why 17 you may ask? Well, 17 is the biological age of maturity. It is at this time that the process of puberty begins to end. Hormones are released into your body that allow for more rational thinking. Before this happens, it is literally impossible to be mature. Sure, some kids may act mature, but that's because they've been supervised by their parents. Some may even believe that they are mature, even going so far as to say [quote]I'm 13/14/etc and I don't swear or do any of those things.[/quote] but that's because the way they view reality is skewed. Sure, some adults may act immature, but this is because they have to deal with immature kids. Science has shown that high pitched noises activate certain instincts in adults. It has to do with protecting the young. When babies cry, adults automatically want to do something to get the baby to stop crying. This is the instinct high pitched noises appeal to. It makes adults irrational and emotional. This is not something that contributes to a friendly gaming environment. So if you encounter a grown person who appears to be acting immature, it's probably because they just encountered a kid.
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#satire #feedback

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  • Weak post

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    • Edited by GhilKlinWar: 11/7/2014 2:13:01 AM
      [b]First clue[/b] - Longface (famous for his posts, many of which are quite funny when you realize he is baiting you) [b]Second clue[/b] - hashtag (the "#" tags beneath every post, and the second thing you should look at after the title) People really need to start looking at those #hashtags before the OP (especially this rather crafty one) makes a fool out of them with their replies. I think I read 5 posts here just tonight, all of which had a hashtag identifying the post as nothing but someone trolling or satire, and in each people took it to heart. @Longface - congrats on your return, you would think that eventually they would catch on though.

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    • I agree but playstations eye isn't required

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    • I've ran into some people who are 20+ and are more immature than a 14 year old...

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      • Edited by beastbread: 11/7/2014 2:03:18 AM
        Do people post this bullshit and think it's funny? So they put a "satire" tag on it? You're just making yourself look retarded.

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        • anyone can be immature I have met some respectable kids and mature one.

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        • This is the biggest, most pathetic, and worthless post; I've ever read on the forums. Enough said.

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        • Yea I think this is a very well thought out joke.

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        • Did you ever submit a paper to BAH fest? I think you'd do quite well long face.

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        • What does it matter when they just go around giving free shit to lucky bastards with brain cancer like they earned the shit anyway? Why does life have to be so hard?

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        • I JUST DID DOODIE.

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        • This is an asinine thing to say, the game is rated teen for a reason, if they wanted little kids not to play, they would have rated it M. That would not be fair to the children or the parents. Would you like it if [i]you[/i] were charged $10 to play a game meant for almost all ages?

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        • I can't believe I just wasted a minute of my life reading this stupid crap

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        • This is literally the stupidest thing I have ever read in my entire life of 19 years.

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        • Edited by StateCat: 11/7/2014 1:57:19 AM
          I agree that they are annoying. I grow weary of this one child who is a level 27 begging me each week to do the nightfall with him. I did it once because I had no option and did not know his age. Now he is attached to me like an extraterrestrial parasitic organism with a high pitched voice. Blocking is my best friend. Your ideas are ludicrous though. XD

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          • I am 9 pls report pls pls

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          • sadly mate is GTA 5 was suppose to me a rated game for over 18 yrs of age .....well long story short is that that whole game is flooded with kids younger than 18 thanks to lame parents and whoever else helped them get it......so now youl here some 9 year old kid yelling troll comments like hes a boss and there is nothing you can do but report the GT for underage use

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          • That's some if the most stupid shit i have ever heard really a monthly fee for playing video games damn ha

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          • Then I'd just lie about my age

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          • I knew this was going to be good.

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          • Other way around. Option to pay for 18 and over rated M version of destiny. "we'll call it the executive account"

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          • I would agree with you, but the game is rated Teen. So 13 year olds can buy the game without conflict. And adding a fee would make it more of a mmo then

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          • looks like you accidentally added the #satire tag. You should go ahead and remove that.

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          • Only if it was rated M

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          • Edited by Masshole: 11/6/2014 6:50:43 PM
            How about 16, if they have enough common sense and have read a well-known novel and liked it. [spoiler]Huckleberry Finn is a great novel, along with Of Mice and Men.[/spoiler]

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          • Who's longface? Ppl keep talking about him as I don't know who he is

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